Post by redemption on Sept 13, 2007 19:31:34 GMT -5
I Can’t Hate You Anymore
Trixie sat silently on the roof of her apartment building, gazing up at the stars. One leg dangled freely over the edge into thin air; the other was pulled up to her chest, her arms wrapped around it loosely with her chin resting on her knee.
Softly, she sighed and closed her eyes.
The only time Trixie ever went up to look at the stars was when she was being deeply bothered by something.
An empty room can be so deafening
The silence makes you wanna scream
It drives you crazy
I chased away the shadows of your name
And burned the picture in the frame
But it couldn’t save me
And that something, she mused quietly, wasn’t even a thing. It was a person. One person, specifically.
And that one person was, to be extremely specific, Spud.
Her old time friend. The guy she’d dumped on more times than she cared to count.
The guy that, despite her numerous loud claims concerning one Kyle Wilkins, was her long time crush, and still going strong.
And how could we quit something
We never even tried?
Well you still can’t tell me why
Trixie still couldn’t quite pinpoint the exact moment her feelings for Spud had started changing. Some part of her didn’t even want to know. It had happened, and there was no avoiding it. She’d acted like it was never there, had buried it underneath her claims of Kyle.
And she’d watched as Spud, hopelessly blind and oblivious, had chased after Stacy like a puppy chasing its tail.
In this case, in the longest running and probably sometimes painful comedy run of TV, the puppy had caught its tail.
And Trixie was left out alone. Again.
We built it up to watch it fall
Like we meant nothing at all
I gave and gave the best of me
But couldn’t give you what you need
You walked away, you stole my life
Just to find what you’re looking for
But no matter how I try
I can’t hate you anymore
It wasn’t like she blamed Spud. Or… hadn’t. At least, she hadn’t tried to. But in this case, it had been somewhat unavoidable.
She’d cursed him, said she hated him in the privacy of her room. She spoke bitterly of his ignorance and blind devotion to her mirror, where only her reflection could respond with silence.
But in the end, the anger and denial had faded away, to be replaced by the quiet understanding and anguished understanding.
It had been her fault all along. She couldn’t hate Spud for it, or blame him.
Because in the end, it had all fallen onto her shoulders.
You’re not the person that you used to be
The one I want who wanted me
And that’s a shame but
There’s only so many tears that you can cry
Before it drains the light right from your eyes
And I can’t go on that way
And so I’m letting go of everything we were
It doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt
There was no one but herself to blame. She had kept quiet. She had pounded on Spud, again and again. She hadn’t been nicer to him, she hadn’t even hinted at her feelings. She’d even denied that what had happened between them meant anything to her.
Trixie sighed again and opened her eyes.
“You stars up there, ya wouldn’t happen to have an answer for Mama Trixie, would ya?”
But only silence answered. She shifted her position tiredly.
“Yeah… I didn’t think so.”
We built it up to watch it fall
Like we meant nothing at all
I gave and gave the best of me
But couldn’t give you what you need
You walked away, you stole my life
Just to find what you’re looking for
But no matter how I try
I can’t hate you anymore
It was happy endings all around. Spud had gotten his girl, with hard effort and devotion. Jake had even got Rose in the end, with the twist of memory and a picture he hadn’t been able to get rid of.
But Trixie hadn’t found her happy ending. Or at least, not the happy ending she’d wanted.
Heh… but it was her own fault anyway, so why was she even complaining? Maybe she’d deserved it in the end.
Sometimes you hold so tight
It slips right through your hands
Will I ever understand?
“I guess it came back to haunt Mama Trixie, after all… nothing I can do about it anymore…”
Having reached this somewhat cold conclusion, Trixie stood and stretched, arching her back and letting out a low murmur of satisfaction as something cracked and eased within her body. She gazed up at the stars for one last, long moment before rolling her shoulders.
“Hm… even if he does like Stacy… doesn’t change the fact that I still like him.”
With that said, she turned and walked back to the door, opening it and stepping inside, closing it behind her with one final click.
Because it was dark and the alley was covered in shadows, she didn’t see Spud standing there, staring up at the place she’d been only moments ago with a look that could only be described as utter amazement.
We built it up to watch it fall
Like we meant nothing at all
I gave and gave the best of me
But couldn’t give you what you need
You walked away, you stole my life
Just to find what you’re looking for
But no matter how I try
I can’t hate you anymore
The End
I know the story doesn't match the lyrics. Don't bug me about it. Please.
This was just something I wrote. I'm beginning to realize now that sometimes things change, and you can't hold on to the people you love forever. And sometimes, you have to let them go, even if it really hurts, and you have to be able to move on.
... And... well, I guess that's it.
Trixie sat silently on the roof of her apartment building, gazing up at the stars. One leg dangled freely over the edge into thin air; the other was pulled up to her chest, her arms wrapped around it loosely with her chin resting on her knee.
Softly, she sighed and closed her eyes.
The only time Trixie ever went up to look at the stars was when she was being deeply bothered by something.
An empty room can be so deafening
The silence makes you wanna scream
It drives you crazy
I chased away the shadows of your name
And burned the picture in the frame
But it couldn’t save me
And that something, she mused quietly, wasn’t even a thing. It was a person. One person, specifically.
And that one person was, to be extremely specific, Spud.
Her old time friend. The guy she’d dumped on more times than she cared to count.
The guy that, despite her numerous loud claims concerning one Kyle Wilkins, was her long time crush, and still going strong.
And how could we quit something
We never even tried?
Well you still can’t tell me why
Trixie still couldn’t quite pinpoint the exact moment her feelings for Spud had started changing. Some part of her didn’t even want to know. It had happened, and there was no avoiding it. She’d acted like it was never there, had buried it underneath her claims of Kyle.
And she’d watched as Spud, hopelessly blind and oblivious, had chased after Stacy like a puppy chasing its tail.
In this case, in the longest running and probably sometimes painful comedy run of TV, the puppy had caught its tail.
And Trixie was left out alone. Again.
We built it up to watch it fall
Like we meant nothing at all
I gave and gave the best of me
But couldn’t give you what you need
You walked away, you stole my life
Just to find what you’re looking for
But no matter how I try
I can’t hate you anymore
It wasn’t like she blamed Spud. Or… hadn’t. At least, she hadn’t tried to. But in this case, it had been somewhat unavoidable.
She’d cursed him, said she hated him in the privacy of her room. She spoke bitterly of his ignorance and blind devotion to her mirror, where only her reflection could respond with silence.
But in the end, the anger and denial had faded away, to be replaced by the quiet understanding and anguished understanding.
It had been her fault all along. She couldn’t hate Spud for it, or blame him.
Because in the end, it had all fallen onto her shoulders.
You’re not the person that you used to be
The one I want who wanted me
And that’s a shame but
There’s only so many tears that you can cry
Before it drains the light right from your eyes
And I can’t go on that way
And so I’m letting go of everything we were
It doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt
There was no one but herself to blame. She had kept quiet. She had pounded on Spud, again and again. She hadn’t been nicer to him, she hadn’t even hinted at her feelings. She’d even denied that what had happened between them meant anything to her.
Trixie sighed again and opened her eyes.
“You stars up there, ya wouldn’t happen to have an answer for Mama Trixie, would ya?”
But only silence answered. She shifted her position tiredly.
“Yeah… I didn’t think so.”
We built it up to watch it fall
Like we meant nothing at all
I gave and gave the best of me
But couldn’t give you what you need
You walked away, you stole my life
Just to find what you’re looking for
But no matter how I try
I can’t hate you anymore
It was happy endings all around. Spud had gotten his girl, with hard effort and devotion. Jake had even got Rose in the end, with the twist of memory and a picture he hadn’t been able to get rid of.
But Trixie hadn’t found her happy ending. Or at least, not the happy ending she’d wanted.
Heh… but it was her own fault anyway, so why was she even complaining? Maybe she’d deserved it in the end.
Sometimes you hold so tight
It slips right through your hands
Will I ever understand?
“I guess it came back to haunt Mama Trixie, after all… nothing I can do about it anymore…”
Having reached this somewhat cold conclusion, Trixie stood and stretched, arching her back and letting out a low murmur of satisfaction as something cracked and eased within her body. She gazed up at the stars for one last, long moment before rolling her shoulders.
“Hm… even if he does like Stacy… doesn’t change the fact that I still like him.”
With that said, she turned and walked back to the door, opening it and stepping inside, closing it behind her with one final click.
Because it was dark and the alley was covered in shadows, she didn’t see Spud standing there, staring up at the place she’d been only moments ago with a look that could only be described as utter amazement.
We built it up to watch it fall
Like we meant nothing at all
I gave and gave the best of me
But couldn’t give you what you need
You walked away, you stole my life
Just to find what you’re looking for
But no matter how I try
I can’t hate you anymore
The End
I know the story doesn't match the lyrics. Don't bug me about it. Please.
This was just something I wrote. I'm beginning to realize now that sometimes things change, and you can't hold on to the people you love forever. And sometimes, you have to let them go, even if it really hurts, and you have to be able to move on.
... And... well, I guess that's it.