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Post by kashi on Jul 3, 2006 18:10:24 GMT -5
Now with even more Star Wars refrencing ^_^
I liked the several twists which arose in this chapter, Jake and Mar being brothers, Jakes dad being Dark Dragon, traitors in the summit, it's all a great twist ^_^
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Post by txdragon on Jul 3, 2006 20:03:33 GMT -5
What he said Now with even more Star Wars refrencing ^_^ I liked the several twists which arose in this chapter, Jake and Mar being brothers, Jakes dad being Dark Dragon, traitors in the summit, it's all a great twist ^_^
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Post by gojake on Jul 4, 2006 0:02:43 GMT -5
happy july 4! its like 12 o clock in houston right now
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Post by txdragon on Jul 4, 2006 0:34:32 GMT -5
hey he's right.... happy 4th of July!
wait... your from houston. cool!
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Post by gojake on Jul 4, 2006 20:24:51 GMT -5
Shattered Skies: Chapter Seven. SECOND TO LAST CHAPTER! As Mar and Jake walk out of the building, Jake finds something hidden in his clothes. Jake: Must've gotten stuck when we were being chased. Mar: Wait a minute... Mar pulls the piece of parchment out. Mar: It's the technical readout to the superweapon! Jake: We should inform the other council members... Mar: Agreed, master. Scene two.... The council building Councilor Kulkulkhan: Good job, Jake. We still have a shot at destroying the superweapon. Councilor Omina: Yes, however, it may be a trap. Councilor Andam: Yes, it's definately a trap! But thanks to these young men, we now can assault the weakness, the main exhaust port! Jake: Yeah, but, we should be cautious. Andam: No, a direct assault will demoralize the enemy and surprise them. Omina: Council Dissmissed! Andam's idea shall be used. Scene three... Jake: I don't like this. A direct assault will be suicide! Mar: We have a traitor in the summit, master. Jake: Who?! Mar: Andam. How did he know the weakness of the battlestation if it was only released an hour ago? The Council meeting was yesterday! He didn't even see the readouts! He must be trying to get our forces to assault the weakness point, but will arrange for the heaviest defences to be located there. It all fits! Jake: No. Andam is one of the most respected councilors. He can't be a traitor. Mar: (cooly) Actually, He isn't really a traitor. I think he is the prophesized Lord of the Darkness, the master of the dark dragon. Jake: No more, my young apprentice. I will not hear anymore dissent towards Andam. Mar: Yes, master... But Mar is not really paying attention anymore. he is looking towards Ameera, a silver female dragon whom he has become infatuated with the past week. Jake: Will you please stop looking at her? Mar: You never stop looking at rose. You're looking at her right now. Jake's jaw falls to the floor when he sees Rose turning into a dragon! Rose turns into human again and runs towards Jake and gives him a Jake and Rose: smooch smooch smooch Mar: O boy, here we go again. Ameera walks towards Mar shyly. She smiles. Ameera: Hi, Mar. Mar: Hey, wuzz goin on, eh?! Ameera: Every time i talk to you, you look like you're drunk. Mar: Well, er.. you see... um.. I- Ameera: Don't say it. She gives Mar a light kiss and walks away. Mar's jaw falls to the ground and his tounge rolls out. Jake: Filthy Hypocrite! Watchers: Siege! We're under seige, god d**m it! Mar and Jake: DRAAGON UUUUUUUPPPP! Mar and Jake turn into their magnificent dragon forms, black and red, and Ameera and Rose turn into silver and gold respectively, as do many around them. They all fly up where many enemies are swarmed. Most of the good dragons have huntspeople on their backs and tails. A shadow creature attacks Mar. Mar kicks it and Jake destroys it with a great ball of fire. Suddenly, Andam flies up with the dark dragon! Andam: Send forth all legions. Burn the place and kill all. Leave none alive. This land will be stained with the blood of Huntspeople and free dragons! Shadow captain: What of the American and hunnic dragons. Dark Dragon: Leave them to me. I shall deal with them. And so, the final battle begins.
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Post by kashi on Jul 5, 2006 23:59:28 GMT -5
Wow, many plot twist in this one, Andam being a traitor, and the big one, Rose being a dragon! Still a good amount of Star Wars refrencing used. I like the story, and can't wait to see how it all concludes. Update ^_^
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Post by gojake on Jul 7, 2006 13:51:20 GMT -5
The battle raged furiously especially where Mar and Jake fought. The duo, along with Ameera and Rose brought morale for their men, and defeat for the enemies. But they could only be in one place at one time so they could not stay at one front for too long. At a certain front, Mar and Jake had almost defeated the enemy, but the Dark Dragon had shown up there!
Mar: (to Jake) I'll take him... (to the Dark Dragon) Die!
The Dark dragon fires a sphinx net at Jake and Mar, capturing them both. He takes them into the Death Dragon, The superweapon.
Interior Superweapon...
Andam: You have done well my apprentice.....
Dark Dragon: Thank you, my master.
Andam: Release Mar...
The Dark Dragon releases Mar.
Mar: I knew you were the Lord of Darkness, b***ard
Andam: Quite. Strike me down if you hate me so much, and your journey to the dark side will be complete!
Mar uses his anger and attacks the Lord of Darkness with extremely long claws that resemble a sword, but is parried by the Dark Dragon.
Andam: HAHAHAHA! CACKLE CACLKE CACKLE! Muhahaha---
A farting sound is heard.
Andam: ;D
Jake laughs so hard he destroys his net and assaults the Lord of darkness. The final battle has begun...
End of part one of chapter 8
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Post by kashi on Jul 7, 2006 14:00:36 GMT -5
Awsome, I can't wait to see the final battle play out. I only wish the chapter could have been longer >.< I need more! Can't wait for the conclusion! Keep up the great work :Thumbs up:: ^_^
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Post by gojake on Jul 10, 2006 11:40:23 GMT -5
Chapter 8 Part 2 Redemption....
The battle outside the super weapon was not going well. The dark army kept on pushing all dragons back. Councilor Kulde had already been slain by the traitor, Andam. Then andam had retreated into the Superweapon for some reason (read part one) yet the battle wis still nearly lost. Fred Nerk's brigade was surrounded....
Rose: Ameera! Go take some soldiers and help General Nerk!
Ameera: Yes, commander!
Ameera took her soldiers towards Nerk's men. She attacked with energy beams and fire blasts, killing 3 dragons and 8 shadow soldiers, giving Nerk's men new energy. They pushed the enemy back and eventually killed them.
Ameera moved her men back towards Rose to help her out. Unfortunately, she was also surrounded. The fight was almost lost when General Nerk arrived, breaking the enemy ranks. Now the battle was going in their favor.
Interior Super weapon...
Mar attacked the dark dragons head with his sword like claws. The dark dragon pushed the attack aside and counterattacked. Meanwhile, Jake and Andam were exchanging energy blasts. soon, two of their blasts connected and each tried to push the other's back. It looked as if Andam would win, until Mar knocked the dark dragon back and sent an fire beam at Andam to distract him. Jake took the opportunity to push hard. The energy beam destroyed Andam's and hit him, sending him towards the other wall. The Dark dragon got up and assaulted Mar once more.
Dark Dragon: You fight well, son, but you are not a true Dragon yet.
Mar: You'll find that I'm full of surprises...
The Dark Dragon makes a swipe at Mar's legs, but Mar jumps up.
Dark Dragon: Impressive..... Most impressive. Why Do you bother yourself with these pitiful idiots when you could be one of the strongest powers in the universe..
Mar: Because your evil. I won't give up my sanity and mind to be more powerful you. You did! When you turned to the dark side my mother was over come with sadness, then you choked her to death because you thought she was affiliated with Lao Shi!
Mar hides behind the walkway....
Dark Dragon: If you don't turn to the dark side, then perhaps Jake will!
Mar falls to the dark side because of his anger with the dark dragon!
Mar: NEVER!
Mar assaults him with sheer force and power that the Dark Dragon cannot resist. He falls back and retreats onto a walkway above a deep chasm. Mar attacks relentlessly until he chops the dark dragon's right arm! He sees wires sticking out of it, and he realizes two things: that his father had a mechanical arm wrapped in synthetic flesh and, more importantly, he himself had fallen to the dark side...
Andam knocks jake out with a blast of energy and moves towards Mar.
Andam: Good... Very good. Now take your father's place at my side.
Mar: No. You've failed, your Highness! I am a true dragon, like my father once was before me!
Andam: So be it... Dragon!
End of chapter 8 part two
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Post by kashi on Jul 11, 2006 13:28:20 GMT -5
Great chapter ^_^ Still strong with the force of Star Wars. The battles seem great, I like the large scale of them. It looks like we're coming down to it, I need to see how this goes between Jake, Mar, the Dark Dragon, and Andam. Update soon ^_^
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Post by gojake on Jul 11, 2006 17:33:25 GMT -5
Chapter 8 Redemption Part 3 Andam smiled evily and sent a blast of lightning and fire at Mar. Mar Countered it with his own blast and the two collided, creating an explosion blew up most of the Superweapon's hardpoints. Meanwhile.... Dragon Summit, Exterior Superweapon Ameera: Look! The superweapon is blowing up from the inside! Rose: Oh no... Mar and Jake are still inside! Councilor Kulkulkhan: I'm sure they will make it out. But we must destroy the superweapon, regardless of the cost. I'm sure Jake and Mar would have approved. Rose: Yes, sir. Ameera: Assault the Thermal Exhaust port! Thousands of Dragons beckoned to their call and assaulted the port. Ameera and Rose pulled ahead of all of them in the race to get to the exhaust port. Interior Superweapon... Mar and Andam fought furiously, tossing objects, fire, blasts and obliterating everything in their path. Mar Drew power into himself from all objects and made another energy blast, but it was stopped by Andam. Jake wakes up. Jake: Wuzzzzz goin on, yo!?!? Jake saw that the fight was not going well for Mar. He goes to Mar. Mar: Don't help me. Take father and get the hell out of here. The only way to kill this son of a b**ch is for me to die taking him to hell with me! Jake: But the prophec- Mar: D*mn the prophecy to hell for all I care. There was nothing about me surviving, was there? No? Then get the hell out of here! Jake: All right. Thank you brother. Mar: Anything for you, buddy. Jake takes his father out of the superweapon. As he flies out, Rose sees him. Rose: Look! It's Jake! Ameera: But... No.... Mar.... Rose: He's still alive. I can feel it. Ameera: Are you sure? Rose: Yes. Interior Superweapon. Mar called for the energy from all over the world. He started to glow red. Andam: Any Last words? Mar: Yeah. F**k you, idiot. Mar exploded all of the energy from within him, creating a blast with more power than 10000 nuclear missiles. Outside, the forces of good shot fire into the thermal exhaust port, exploding the entire superweapon. 2 days later... Interior Medical Facility, Dragon Summit. Dragons celebrated outside for the enemies were destroyed. But inside, Jake, Rose and Ameera wept. They had lost one most dear to them. Mar was a huge part of their lives, and without him, they felt empty. Even with the Redemption of the Dark Dragon, Mar was dead. Jake and Ameera were most affected by his death. After the funeral ceremonies, Jake went out into the wild to find peace in his mind. Instead, he found some one stalking him. Jake aproached the stranger. Jake: Who are you? ?: I know you. You don't remember me? Jake, Jake... I thought you were smarter Jake: Andam?! ?: No... Jake: Then who are you? ?: It's me. Mar. Jake: Say what?! Mar steps out of the shadow. Mar: You didn't think I'd die that easily, did you? END
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Post by kashi on Jul 11, 2006 22:42:51 GMT -5
Great ending ^_^ twists are always fun! The destruction of the superweapon was pretty cool, a pretty big explosion ^_^ This leaves a lot of openings for a second story, will we see one?
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Post by gojake on Jul 12, 2006 10:57:47 GMT -5
possibly. It will be about Mar's succsessors, or i may showcase how the Dark Dragon fell to the dark side.
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Post by gojake on Jul 12, 2006 23:32:07 GMT -5
Epilouge... A New Threat. (Leads up to Death's Head, chapter 1 in the sequel)
2 months later....
Mar and Jake aproach the Isle of Draco.
Mar: And how am I supposed to break this to Ameera and Rose?! They both think I'm dead. Judging by your reaction, they'll have a heart attack. What do I tell them, I survived a f**king nuclear blast and didn't get mutated?!!!?!?!
Jake: Yep! But go gently on Ameera. She took the shock more than I did, and I'm your brother!
5 minutes later...
Mar: Hey Ameera! Wazzap!?
Ameera: How.... did.. YOU... survive...?
Mar: Hey, I'm a chosen one! It's my job!
Ameera and Rose: But... but.. bu-
Mar: (to Ameera) Don't say it!
He walks over to Ameera and gives her a kiss.
4 months later. Mar: Huntsclan Master. We are indebted to you for you help during the war. We now present you with a greater gift than the skull of the Dark Dragon. The Skull of the Lord of Darkness!
Huntmaster: Thank you, dragon. And I understand that my neice is getting married to your brother?
2 months Later...
It is a joyous occasion. Mar and Ameera are getting married, on the same day as Jake and Rose!
Dragon Priest: I pronounce you two couples Men and wives! (to Jake and Mar) You may now kiss the brides!
Rose and Jake: Smooch smooch...
Mar and Ameera: Smooch, Smooch.... 5 months later...
Councilor Omina: You have now been gathered together. Word has reached us from our huntsclan friends that a new scourge has appeared from, apparently, another planet. These creatures are unlike any other we have encountered. Word is, they BIOENGINEER (grow) their own weapons and machines, tools and clothes, cities and towns.
Dragon1: That's heresy!
Dragon 2: Kill them all immediatly!
Omina: ORDER! ORDER!
Kulkulkhan: We will send 4 spies, Jake Long, Rose Long, Mar Valorum and Ameera Valorum to investigate-
Rose: Sorry to interrupt, but Ameera and I can't go.
Kulde: Why not, dragonesses?
Ameera: Rose is pregnant with Jake's child, and I with Mar's.
The Dragons whisper among themselves, and hoorays and whaahooos go all over the place. Dragons congratulate Rose, Ameera, Mar, and Jake.
Kulde: ORDER ORDER!!!!
Omina: Then two other replacements have been picked beforehand. They are: David Long, Father of the American and Hunnic Dragons, and Ali, a newcomer! Luck of the Dragons to the four!
Ameera: Oh, and Mar, try not to die and come back to life again?
Mar: Hahaha!
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Post by kashi on Jul 13, 2006 15:45:01 GMT -5
Great tie into the sequal. Many months blew past me just then ^_^ I can't wait to see the sequal, and I hope that you update soon! Keep up the good work.
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