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Post by gojake on Jul 2, 2006 20:29:39 GMT -5
Nice job, Kashi, very good stories (way longer then mine) and thanx for commenting on the hunnic dragon
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Post by kashi on Jul 3, 2006 1:11:12 GMT -5
Ooo... New chapter ^_^
I hope you like this one, not to much on the action side, but I'm trying to set something up, just watch ^_^ ------------------------------------------------
Mercenary Ch.10 The New Kid
It had been several months since the incident with Haku. After the match the entire Huntsclan lair collapsed into a burning heap. The fire department extinguished the flames by the next afternoon, but never discovered more than Haku’s two swords in the ruble. Jake has recovered from the mass attack and needed medical attention from the local hospital. He had to have several hundred stitches over his body and has only recently gotten back the full range of motion from his arm and neck. Rose never found out the he was the American Dragon. They were able to get her to the hospital before she awoke and put together a story about a terrible mugging. Though they didn’t want to lie, they felt it better than the altervative.
Jake, Trixie, and Spud took their seats in professor Rotwood’s class room. “Ahem. Students, may I have your attention to introduce your new classmate, his name is Daren. He is older than all of you, but has not yet taken this school course and must attend. He will be in this class with you for the rest of the year. Now Daren, tell us a little about yourself, but make it quick, we must learn about the Unicorn and it’s addiction to cola.” A boy of about the age of 17 or 18 walked into the room, he had long black hair, and black claw markings underneath his blue grey yet fiery eyes. He wore black BDU pants and combat boots, and wore a black button up short sleeved shirt. He smiled to the class and waved slightly, “Well, lets see. I’ve been living here in the city for a few months now. I don’t remember anything before that though. One day I just woke up in the hospital, and they said that I had been near death for several weeks. I’m staying with one of the doctors which agreed to take me in and help me through all of this until we could find some of my family, but no luck on that yet. Well that’s me.” Jake was transfixed on the new student, a look of shock on his face, he then looked over to Spud, and Trixe, both of which had the same look of astonishment and dread on their faces.
“You may now take your seat Mr. Daren.” He walked over to an empty seat across the aisle from Jake as Rotwood started on about the Unicorns terravle cola drinking habits and how it will lead to the unicorns demise. Daren sat down and looked over to Jake and held out a hand, “Hey man, I’m Daren.” Jake just stared at him for a few seconds, “Ok… don’t shake my hand…” Jake shook his head a bit and then shook his hand. He knew that this had to be Haku, but how?
After class Jake, Trixie, and Spud, waited outside the room for Daren. “Yo Jake, what’s that Haku guy do’n here!?” Spud looked over to Jake, “Yeah man, he’s like three thousand years old! Shouldn’t he at least be in eleventh grade?” “Jakey, I don’t like this one bit man.” Jake looked at them both, “I know it has to be Haku, but there’s just something about him now, but don’t worry guys. The Am Drag is gonna get to the bottom of this!” Darren walked out of the room and the three of them surrounded him. “Whoa, what are you guys doing? This doesn’t seem like a normal welcoming.” Trixie poked him in the shoulder, “Yo man, you best come clean and fess up. You aint fool’n us!” He just looked at Trixie awkwardly, “Hey, I don’t know what you think but I’m clean. I don’t know any secrets to keep.” They talked to Daren as they walked down the hallway. They got to Rose’s locker and stopped. Jake stood behind Rose and tapped her shoulder, “Hey rose, meet Hak, I mean Daren, He’s new here.” He let out a small laugh as Rose turned to look at them, “Oh hi Jake who’s the new g,,, guy.” She cleared her throat as she saw him, remembering Haku from the Huntsclan’s lair when they hired him. She looked around real quick, “Heh, I have to go.” She started quickly out of the building, “Rose wait!” Jake stopped and turned to Daren, “Oh, well. I guess she had to be somewhere.”
All four of them walked outside. Trixie and Spud high fived. “Yo Jakey, we’s hitten the half pipe, you gonna come with?” He shook his head, “Naw I gotta get to the shop, if you know what I mean.” Trixie looked at Daren, “Aw, yeah, well come on Spud we got pipe to shred.” They both sped off leaving Jake and Daren, “Hey, why don’t you come with me Hak, I mean Daren. I can show you my Gramps’ shop.” Daren looked at him and smiled, “Sure, why not. Not like I’ve got much else to do.” They both started to walk towards the shop. -----------------------------------------------
Well there you have it! He's back!
Oh what fun I can have with an amnesia patient ::Sadistic laugh:: Like I said earlier, not very action packed, but it's leading to something and that something is chapter 11 "New Target" I would love some feed back and criticism, well constructive criticism that is ^_^
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Post by superdoglac on Jul 3, 2006 8:53:47 GMT -5
I love your story. Update soon!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Post by txdragon on Jul 3, 2006 12:54:34 GMT -5
well since i didn't have time to comment on chapter 9 before you posted chapter 10 I'll start with that
intense action..... seemed like a quick read (although I had to break it up into three parts to fit it on my ipod)
but uh anyway great story
as for chapter 10
an amnesic Haku! That ought to be interesting, can't wait for more
and well as usual i have no critisism
EDIT: and don't ask me why (it could have been that i was listening to the song while reading your story at 1:00AM ) but it seems like a good theme song for Haku (considering that fact that he likes blood... alot) would be "If You Want Blood (You've Got it)" by AC/DC
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Post by kashi on Jul 3, 2006 15:14:34 GMT -5
Lol, thanks for the comments (and the theme song) As per request, here is the next chapter. I know it's not long but I hope you will enjoy it any way. --------------------------------------------
Mercenary Ch. 11 New Target
Rose was kneeling in a large room in front of the Huntsmaster. They had acquired a new building after Haku had taken control of the other. “Master, Haku has survived the fire.” The Huntsmaster rubbed his chin slightly, “Are you sure that it was him Huntsgirl?” She looked up at him, “Yes Huntsmaster, but there was something different about him. He seemed more human, and did not wear the same clothing in which he had always worn before.” The Huntsmaster stood up and walked to the side of the Huntsgirl, “Yes, this is interesting indeed.” Huntsgirl continued to look at him, “What is your wash Huntsmaster?” He put a hand on her shoulder, “I want a dragon skin. The dragon skin of Haku to be more precise.” Huntsgirl stood and smiled, “Yes Huntsmaster, he is currently on his way to a shop here in the city.” “Yes… Gather some troops together. We shall be paying a visit to our dragon friend.” Rose nodded and walked from the room.
Jake, and Daren walked into the shop and threw their stuff down by the door. Fu walked in and saw them, “Yo Ja… Whoa! It’s Hak… I mean woof! woof!” Daren looked at him a bit confussed, “Yo Jake, did that dog just?” Jake stepped in front of him, blocking his view of Fu, “What? No! I mean uh… Hey Gramps! You here!?” Lao Shi walked into the room and cleared his throat a bit nervously as he saw Daren, “So, Jake, can I talk with you in the back momentarily?” Jake, Fu, and Lao Shi walked into the back room, leaving Daren on the sofa in the front.
“Jake! What is he doing here!?” Fu stood up, “Yeah, are you a few moist kibble bits short of a full bowl!?” Jake looked at them both, “There’s something different about him now.” “Yeah, he’s not a sadistic, emotionless, hand for hire come to kill us and remove our heads. That about it?” Jake looked down at Fu, “Well… Yeah! That’s about it for the most part. Every since we fought at the Huntsclan lair he’s been acting wak!” Lao Shi rubbed his chin, “Hmmm… It sounds like a case of amnesia. It could have been caused by a great number of things, trauma, terror, will power…” Fu dog looked at Lao Shi, “Or maybe insanity, huh? Maybe?” Jake looked at Lao Shi, “Yo Gramps, while we were fighting he did start act’n weird on me. It’s like he just started to fall apart.” “Hmmm… In that case, it sounds as if his subconscious may have locked away all memories of his time before now. He could snap out of it at any time, most likely I reminded of his hardships by people that were there.” Fu walked up to Jake, “That means that just from him being around you, he may snap out of it and go back to his old ways.” “Yes Jake, he is essentially a ticking time bomb. The slightest thing could set him off.”
Jake walked back into the front of the store, smiling nervously. “So Daren, you seen much of the city yet?” Daren stood up and stretched, “Not yet.” “Why don’t you come down with me to meet up with Trixie, and Spud over at the skate park?” Daren smiled, “Naw, I should be get’n back home. I’ll catch ya tomorrow though.” He waved and walked out the door. Lao Shi walked up behind Jake, “You must not let anyone awaken Haku’s inner self. We must find a way to seal it forever.”
Daren walked down the street and then saw the Huntsgirl standing several feet in front of him, “Uh, hi. You supposed to be some kinda ninja or someth’n?” She held here spear out towards him, “You are about to meet your demise at the hands of the Huntsclan Haku.” He stepped back and put his hands up, “Whoa, I think you got the wrong guy, girl.” He took a step back and then bumped into some one. Five Huntsclan members stood behind him with spears. He looked from them and then to Huntsgirl, “This don’t look to good.” He then turned and ran down an alley way to his right. “After him!” The Huntsclan members followed after him.
He ducked down allies and ran across streets but was finally cornered. He stood with his back against a dumpster at a dead end, four huntsclan members had their spears fixed at him. “Step aside.” A voice came from the rear and the four members stepped to the side, revealing the Huntsmaster. “You thought you could destroy us did you Haku?” Daren looked at him confused, “Hey look, I don’t know who this Haku guy is, but he’s not me!” “Oh, but he is you, and your are very much him! Now die Haku!” He stabbed forward with the spear. Daren dodged and stumbled, “Hey man, I didn’t do anything!” The Huntsmaster stabbed and slashed at him several more times, and Daren continued to dodge. He jumped up onto the dumpster lid and did a back flip over the wall it was up against. He landed on the other side, surprised at what he had just done, and then continued to run.
After about half an hour he had successfully lost the Huntsclan. He sat against a brick wall, breathing heavily, “Man, who were those guys, and who is Haku!?” A quick flash of a sword strike and spraying blood went through his mind and he grabbed his forehead. “What was that? My heads killing me.” --------------------------------------------
Well, I hope you've enjoyed this edition of Mercenary. leave comments, criticisms, pie ^_^
I'll try getting the next chapter done soon.
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Post by txdragon on Jul 3, 2006 15:32:53 GMT -5
it just keeps getting better and better
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Post by superdoglac on Jul 3, 2006 16:58:24 GMT -5
I like pie!
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Post by kashi on Jul 4, 2006 2:00:15 GMT -5
A very short chapter for this story, but as I have said before, just leadin up to better things ^_^
I hope you all will enjoy the newest chapter to the series: ------------------------------------------------
Mercenary Ch. 12 Regained Memories
Jake walked into Rotwoods class the next day and sat down in his seat. A few minutes later Daren walked in and sat down, rubbing his head slightly. Jake looked at him a bit worried, “Yo man, what’s wrong?” Daren leaned over to Jake, “Well, on my way home I was jumped by these people dressed up like ninja’s. I know it sounds strange, but that’s what happened.” Jake looked at him and smiled awkwardly, “So what? One of em hit you and you got a headach?” Daren rubbed his head some more, “No man, I’ve been having like these visions or flashes in my head and their driving me crazy.” Jake chuckled some, trying to down play it as nothing, “Hey, don’t worry. I’m sure it’s nothing.” Daren looked at him, “I think they might know who I really am, who I really was I mean.”
Daren had left class about half way through because of his headaches. Jake had to sit through the rest of class nervously. He had to figure out what the huntsclan had unleashed within Haku.
Once out of class Jake rushed out of the building over to Lao Shi’s shop. He ran in and tossed his stuff aside, “Yo Gramps! This is bad! I think Haku’s regaining his memories because of the Huntsclan!” Lao Shi jumped up from his chair, “This is not good young one. What has happened?” Jake leaned against the counter, “The Huntsclan jumped him last night, not knowing he had lost his memory. They were calling him by his real name and talking to him about hiring him!” “Quickly then, we must find him!”
Just than the front door opened and Daren stood there holding his head, “Jake! You gotta help me man!” He stumbled in and then collapsed onto the ground groaning, “Yo man, it hurts!” Jake, Lao Shi, and Fu ran over to him. Sweat started to run slightly down his head and his eyes began to race around the room, “Where!?... Where am I!?” His voice was slightly deeper and colder. “Yo Gramps, what are we gonna do G?” Lao Shi bowed his head slightly, “I feel the only thing we can do is seal him before he reverts back into Haku.” Daren looked slowly up at Lao Shi, “That name again!” He had a look of sheer pain, and confusion on his face. “I… I am… I am Haku!” His teeth turned slowly to fangs, and his nails grew into black claws, “What is happening!?” Images began to flash quickly through his head, he tossed and turned rapidly on the ground from their pain. After a few more moments he passed out cold on the floor.
He woke up early Saturday morning in the back of Lao Shi’s shop. He skimmed around the room with his eyes and then heard Jake’s voice from in the front of the store. A few seconds later Jake walked in and noticed he was awake. He walked over to him and knelt down, “You ok Daren.” He looked back at Jake in a blank stare, “My name is Haku.” ------------------------------------------------
Yeah, short. I hope that you all have some comments or criticizms for it though. I'm trying to get the story set up, so bare with me ^_^
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Post by ADJLFanatic on Jul 4, 2006 2:06:27 GMT -5
o_______o I can't believe you. You're like... already 10 chapters done... and like.. you posted days ago. I posted AUA a month ago or something.. and I'm only in progress with the fifth chapter.. daang. You're a fast fan fic updater... and an awesome one too... lol.
Heh, well... this looks really great so far. I love how everything is so... awesome. XD Well, update soon. I'm excited to see what happens next. ^_^
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Post by kashi on Jul 4, 2006 3:26:00 GMT -5
Thank's for the feedback ^_^
As per request, or possibly order of Raffi (lol) here is Ch. 13, and since the last chapter was short, it needed this new update Enjoy!
--------------------------------------- Mercenary Ch. 13 Friend or Foe?
Jake stumbled back away from Haku, “So you remember everything?” Haku sat up in the bed and looked at Jake, “I remember it all as if it had just occurred.” He stood up and cracked his neck, “I will be seeing you again American Dragon.” He turned and walked towards the back door. Jake stood up, “Yo wait man! I saw you when you didn’t remember this. I saw you, and you had emotions. You were a truly kind person yo.” Haku turned back towards Jake and gave him a quick cold gaze and then went outside. Jake ran out after him, but he had already disappeared into the city. “Awww man!”
Jake couldn’t get the conversation out of his head all day. It was now dusk and he was off on a mission for Lao Shi. The Huntsclan had been spotted in the park setting traps for the Unicorn herds. Jake landed in the park and saw two huntsmen setting a snare. “You should know poaching is illegal!” They turned around just in time to see the under side of Jakes foot as he kicked the on to the ground. They were out cold. “That was to easy ya heard.” He was then kicked from behind and landed on top of the two huntsmen.
Huntsgirl stood in front of him with her spear, “Pathetic dragon. I thought you would have known better than to fall into our trap!” A net reinforced with unicorn horn came up from the ground below him, entangling him a few feet in the air. He struggled but couldn’t break free, “Yo, can’t we, you know, talk about this?” Five more Huntsmen came and surrounded the net, “Now dragon, it’s time to take your hide.” He smiled and looked at her, “Whoa baby, not on a first date.” She walked up to him and put her hand under his chin, “Not in this life dragon.”
One of the Huntsmen let out a scream and then fell to the ground. The others turned around and saw Haku standing near a large tree, he had four throwing knives in either hand, “We have unsettled business.” Huntsgirl raised her spear and pointed it at him, “Get him!” The other Huntsmen charged as Haku jumped into the air and let loose a barrage of steel. The men fell to the ground, and Haku landed in front of Huntsgirl, “Tell your master that I intend to take his head.” She smiled, “And he intends to take yours.” She dropped to the ground and slashed at his legs with the spear. Haku did a flip and landed in the spear, pinning it to the ground, “Foolish mortal.” He did a sweeping kick at Huntsgirl whom barely dodged it. “We will have our revenge Haku!” She rolled and grabbed a huntsmans spear from the ground, using it to teleport away.
Jake saw Haku which was now back to wearing his old attire, “Yo, so… A little help?” Haku walked up to the net and cut the ropes which held it shut. Jake fell to the ground and rubbed his head, “Be careful man. Don’t wanna mess with the goods.” Haku grabbed the handle of his new katana. Jake backed up a bit, “Yo, no need for that!” Haku let go of the sword handle and then turned around, “I have no wish to kill you as of yet American Dragon. There are others which have taken a greater priority.” He looked at his new swords, “These will not do. I will need something better for slaying the American Dragon.” Jake looked at him while getting up, “Yo, standing right here.” Haku took several steps foreward and then threw down a smoke bomb. Jake coughed as the smoke cleared.
Jake landed in the alley behind the shop and transformed back into his human form. He walked into the shop and saw Grandpa sitting in a chair, “Yo G. I don’t think we gonna have to worry bout Haku for a while. He’s transfixed on the Huntsclan right now.” Lao Shi looked at Jake, “I am still very concerned young one. Haku is still not acting as he used to.” Jake smiled and jumped onto a sofa, “You mean crazy and sadistic like when I fought him?” He let out a small laugh. Lao Shi had his eyes closed, “No, I mean, he is not acting as though he had several thousand years ago. It is said that before the civil war of the Dark Mountain clan, their one goal was to bring peace to the magical world.” Jake sat up straight and dropped his jaw, “You mean that, that guys one goal was peace!?” Lao Shi nodded, “But their perception of peace was a twisted one at that.” Jake looked at him, “What do you mean by that G?” Fu walked in with an open book, “Well, it seems that the Dark Mountain clan came to the conclusion that there is always peace if nothing is alive. He swore that he would bring their peace to the magical world with his swords.” Jake stood up quickly, “Yo, he said something earlier about his new swords not being good enough.” Lao Shi looked at Jake, “The Dark Mountain clan were hired assassins for a reason young one. They gathered the energy from all those which they killed in their swords. Haku’s swords had gained the power of thousands of years of destruction.” “So what your say’n is that if Haku were to get his swords back” “That is right young one. He may once again start his mission of peace.” --------------------------------------------
Well that's another chapter under the belt ^_^ I hope to get some more feedback and criticism from everyone which reads. Be ready to read Ch. 14 Sword Smith of Dragon Summit tommarow, same fanfic channle same fanfic time ^_^
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Post by txdragon on Jul 4, 2006 3:34:15 GMT -5
don't have much time so I'll make this quick... new twists and turns... cool!
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Post by kashi on Jul 6, 2006 0:46:04 GMT -5
Well, I havn't updated lately, so here we go. Enjoy ^_^
----------------------------------------------------- Mercenary Ch. 14 Sword Smith of Dragon Summit
Few dragons were on the island. It had taken Haku several days to reach the Isle of Draco by air. He landed near a large mountainous area at the entrance of a large cave. Haku walked inside and went into a chamber of the room which was filled with light. There was an old man sitting at an anvil repeatedly hitting a hot metal block with a mallet. Hake stood at the entrance of the cave for several minutes before he spoke, “The swords must be fixed.” The old man stopped his hammering and sat very still, “It can’t be… You were all supposed to be dead.” He turned around and saw Haku standing before him. “Well over a thousand years have passed since the creation of those blades.” He turned back around and Haku walked up behind him. He knelt down next to him and pulled two chared blades from a bag and set them down in front of him. “They must be fixed so that I may bring peace to this world.” The old man slowly reached out a shaky hand and touched the blackened katana blade, “I feel the strength of many suffering souls with in this blade.” He slightly turned his head from them, “I do not think I could bring myself to help you.” Haku stared at him, “I see deep with in you… I see the inner light which wants to recreate the swords” The old man sat silently for a few moments, “Come back here in one months time.” He bowed his head slightly, “Your swords of peace will be ready for their mission in this time.” Haku stood and started to walk from the room. “Haku… How do you know that this mission is right?” Haku stopped for a second and then continued and of the cave.
Two dragons flew above the forest, searching. Jake, Lao Shi, and Fu sat with the members of the council. “Lao Shi, are you and your student sure that Haku has come here?” Lao Shi nodded, “He needed to have his swords repaired, and I am certain that the only one he would entrust the task to would be fabled smith of Draco.” “And it is just that Lao Shi, a fable. We have been on this island for hundreds of years and there is no sword smith among us.”
For the most part, everything had been quiet on the island, though two dragons had gone missing a few weeks ago. A month had passed with no sightings of Haku on Draco, or in any other city or country. Jake and Lao Shi had left the patrolling of the island to the guards of Dragon Summit and returned home.
Haku once again walked into the cave of the old sword smith. The sword smith bowed to Haku, “They are done, my greatest creations, The Swords of Greater Peace.” Both swords lay in front of him on a dark blue silk cloth. Haku walked over to the swords and knelt down. He slowly reached out his hands and lightly ran them down the pewter colored scabbard. He grabbed the katana and brought it closer to him. He looked it over and the grabbed the handle and quickly unsheathed the blade, “Your work is superior.” The old man continued to bow, “They were sharpened to a fine rolled edge, and had new furniture crafted for them out of dragon bone. The saya’s, and handles are made from the bones of two of the elite guards of Draco.” Haku picked up both swords and fixed them in his sash, “Your work will not go to waste.” He turned towards the door, “I hope you are not wrong Haku.” Haku than continued out of the cave.
Haku walked through the woods of Draco, making his way towards the waters edge. Two elite guards were flying over head and spotted him. They swooped down and landed in front of him, “You stop there! We are asking all occupants on the island to stay to the main city.” The other guard noticed Haku’s two swords, “You can not carry those weapons around freely on Draco. Hand them over or we will have to detain you at the Summit.” Haku looked up at both of them coldly, “Leave this place and return to the Summit.” Both guards moved forward, “If you do not comply, we will have to detain you Haku grabbed the handle of the katana and took a ready stance. The two dragons started to move in, “You are now under the detainment of the Draco Elite Guard.” They moved towards him. Haku moved with lightening speed and stood behind the guards, his katana extended out to his side, drips of blood falling to the ground. The guards fell to the ground as Haku turned into his dragon form and flew off towards New York. -------------------------------------------------
I feal that this was not one of my better chapters at all. I hope to here some good criticism, and reviews over this latest chapter. I will try to update soon ^_^
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Post by txdragon on Jul 6, 2006 7:25:26 GMT -5
i already told u what i think about ur fic over IM and I think PM so I'm just doing this so u can post a new chappter without having to edit that post....
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Post by kashi on Jul 8, 2006 8:41:03 GMT -5
I've been dieing to update, and have chapter 15 ready for you all. I have a new plot twist which I have been planning, to get some greater conflict into the story. And you all thought Haku was bad ^_^ ---------------------------------------
Mercenary Ch. 15 New Friend, Old Enemy
Jake flew to the top of a large skyscraper and landed behind Huntsgirl and the Huntsmaster as they cornered a leprechaun. “Ya’ll never give up do you?” The Huntsamaster turned around, “The American Dragon! Seize him!” Huntsgirl turned around and flipped towards him, “Dragon.” Jake put out a hnad and motiond her towards him, “Bring it.” “My pleasure!” She swept at his legs and then swung with the spear. Jake jumped then flipped back, dodging both strikes, “Come on baby, you can do better then that.” The Huntsmaster came at him from the side and stabbed at him with the spear. He jumped back, narrowly dodging the point. “Whoa! Be careful with that thing! You could’a really hurt me.” Huntsgirl jump kicked him against a wall, “That’s the point dragon.” He tried to sweep her with his tail, but Huntsgirl dodged, “That only works so much dragon!” She put the tip of the spear to Jakes belly. The Huntsmasterpointed at Jake, “Finish him, and gain your place among the masters!” She reared back and prepared to strike, “With pleasure!” Jake shut his eyes as Huntsgirl thrust the spear forward. Just before the tip found its place in Jake’s stomach a shuriken knocked the spear from Huntsgirls hands.
The Huntsman turned around, “What!?” Haku stood there looking at them both with his cold stare, “The Huntsclan shall atone for their treachery.” He slowly pulled the newly crafted katana from it’s saya and held it in front of him. The Huntsmaster pointed his spear at Haku and fired a green energy round. Haku disappeared with lightening speed and dodged from side to side until he stopped in front of the Huntsmaster. He slashed quickly and halved the spear. The Huntsmaster stepped back as the top of the spear fell to the ground. Huntsgirl jumped to the side of Haku and tried to roundhouse kick him. He blocked the kick with one arm and countered by kneeing Huntsgirl in the side. Haku looked to Jake, “Get the leprechaun out of here American Dragon.” Jake got to his feet, “You, you ain’t call’n the shots here!” The Huntsmaster swung at Haku, but could not land a punch. Haku cut the Huntsmaster’s arm and the swung around towards his stomach. The Huntsmaster narrowly dodged as the blade cut open his shirt. Huntsgirl stood up and Jake jumped in front of her, “Come on now, two on one just ain’t fair.” She attempted a stomp kick, but only hit air as Jake jumped back. The Huntsmaster jumped and rolled, grabbing Huntsgirls spear, “Huntsgirl, we must escape!” Jake turned to look at the Huntsmaster, then Huntsgirl kicked him in the cheek and flipped next to the Huntsmaster. He held the spear up and they disappeared.
“Well, I guess that takes care of them.” He looked over to Haku which still had his sword out. Haku watched as a drop of the Huntsmaster’s blood fell from the sword blade. He then looked over to Jake. Jake put up his guard and looked at Haku, ready for an attack. Haku turned and sheathed his katana, “Do not worry American Dragon, I do not wish to be your opponent at this time.” Jake slowly let down his guard, “Does this… Does this mean we’re allies?” Haku turned his head to Jake, “For now American Dragon, for now.” Jake took a step towards Haku, “What about you mission of peace?” Haku stood silent for a moment, “I will bring peace to this place; and when there is peace, there will be no life.” He ran and jumped off of the building.
Jake walked over to the leprechaun and helped him up from the ground, “Don’t worry, the Am Drag be look’n out for ya.” He smiled as the leprechaun tipped his hat and went off on his way. Jake walked to the edge of the building and looked off in the direction Haku had ran, “Even though I don’t have to worry about Haku right now, I am eventually going to have to fight him again. I’ll have to stop his plans against the world.” He jumped into the air and flew off towards Lao Shi’s shop.
Unknown to Jake, the Huntsman, or even Haku, a boy looking of the age 18 or 19 stood on an adjacent roof top. He seemed to be of the same stature of Haku and wore a similar attire of a Black Hakama and Kimono and black arm guards. He wore zori saddles over black tabi socks and had his long black hair tied back in a higher on his head. He had the same black spike markings under his blue grey eyes which also had a red Hugh just as Haku’s. His long black bangs came down over his eerie smile. He held a hand on the handle of a katana and walked to the building ledge, “I have found you at last Haku… Now we can finish it.” He continued to smile the disappeared with great speed. -------------------------------------------------------
Well, how did you guys like it? I can't wait to hear you feed back, comments, criticisms, ect. I had been trying to find a good time to throw this new character in. Is he evil? Is he good? Whats his story? Whats his goal? What skill does he posses? And why has he tracked down Haku? All these answers and more are sure to come your way as the story progresses. Await, chapter 16 ^_^
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Iron Hand
Student
Get money.. by any means necessary..
Posts: 18
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Post by Iron Hand on Jul 8, 2006 14:37:47 GMT -5
Welp, here's my long a** review: Chapter one: Great job at the opening lol. You really got the whole ADJL feeling goin' wit' the story, really nice job . Also good detail Wow, awesome job on Haku =D He sounds really bad ass Chaptah 2: Haha, pretty funny, still got that ADJL feeling. Good action as well Haku, again, was freakin' awesome XD. Great intro for him Wow, I bet he's got a really awesome voice. Like Gabe Logan from Syphon Filter XD. Chap-a-tah three: Haha, good ole Spud, always bein' funny. Good job with the ADJL feeling (Dang, you're good at that lol) Haha, go Fu. Haha.. Robots. Hm.. ninja dragon.. huh.. lol. Chapturr 4: Darkslide? Dude aren't those impossible? XD Okay, Haku is just a freak now, smelling him out 'n everything XD. XD Robots.. ACK! HE'S GONNA KILL 'EM! Oh, chapter 5's next =D lol. Chapter 5 (yo): Ooo.. poor Jake, he's seen as a human too? shoot lol. Whoa, Haku = against both? lol. Or with Jake, 'cause he's a dragon! *Gasp!* XD. Chaptahz 6: Great idea on his past, really informative. Ch. 7: Ouch, poor Rose and Jake >_<. Wow.. he took all of them on lol. Haku rocks Wow, pretty detailed my friend, just the way I like it Chapter (freakin') 8: It seems to me that Haku is just looking for a good fight. Cool =P Ack! He captured Rose, Spud and Trixie!! NO!! >_< XD. Goin' so great dude! That one chapter: (9) Ouch, really actiony this chapter, and wow.. poor.. everyone XD.Wow.. HAku's a freakin' psycho dude XD. And.. a dragon wow. Lol, this is great dude. Really detailed on the dragon deal So detailed.. I love it =D I laughed at the round house kick haha. And wow... nice death.. this was probably my favorite chapter, bloody, gorey, and detailed Chapter one zero (10) Ouch, poor Jake with his wounds. Oh no.. He's back XD. Great chapter. Really informative Haha. Rotwood's funny :lol: Spud is too XD. Chapter 11 (The action mwahahaha): Fu was funny XD. Poor Haku, he's so misunderstood XD. Wow.. really interesting. Funny how he didn't remember anything, really great idea Chapter 12 (I ran out of funny chapter names XD): Oh jeez.. Haku's back XD. That was...crazy haha. (Raffi's right, you're good at updating lol. Nice job) Chapter 13: Haha, it's funny to see Jake so calm when he's about to die from Huntsgirl XD. Heh, these will not do, Psh, yeah right, he's Jake's friend lol. (You did a really good job at taking an evil character and turning him good. Really awesome job bro, this whole story is great ) Chapter 14: Oh maaaaaaaayan XD. Freakin' peace bringing Haku! lol. Haha, he took those guards out like a fly swatter to.. well.. a fly lol. Chapter 15: (The promised chapter.. I dunno why I called it that XD): Y'know, this chapter made me feel that it's not really fair for the Huntsclan.. dang.. oh well lol. Ah.. maybe they'll manage to kill Haku anyway Really detailed my friend, great job =D And oh great, Haku has a little playmate XD!! I can't wait for this battle >=) Great story, I am LOVING it ;D! -Iron C. Hand
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