|
Scars
Oct 16, 2009 22:04:21 GMT -5
Post by Chaos on Oct 16, 2009 22:04:21 GMT -5
HI EVERYONE. No idea why I got inspired to do this, my final fic! No idea why I suddenly decided to properly finish off my fics, but here I am! No one even comes on here anymore. XD Prologue: Recruits Shade left the next day without a trace. The break-up with him and Florence obviously took its toll on Florence, but she decided that it would be easier to heal without having Shade there. She focused on the issue at hand: their enemies. That many bad people all in one group would be no good for a long time. Florence knew that the evil group would be going after them, namely to get Shade. It seemed very lucky that Shade decided to leave without anyone knowing anything about it, but Florence knew that the group of evil would come after them anyway. The group needed more solid recruits. The first people who Florence decided to ask were straight from the group who fought against the forces of evil about a week ago in such a huge invasion. However, practically none of them were able to join or wanted to. Normally, Elaine would have joined, but she was fretting over Shade to the point where she forced her father to take the AAA to find him. The same went for Raffi, Ash, Kevin, Spud, and Trixie, but school was wearing them down to the point where they could practically do nothing after school. Jake, Garnet, and Tempest were the only people to join Florence. “We’ve got to go to Magus Bazaar.” Jake decided, “Get some interviews and make sure that we have a solid group to hold off any attacks.” Garnet and Tempest were shown around New York and Magus Bazaar once they got back to New York. Garnet was staying with Florence and Tempest was staying at Jake’s. They weren’t going to school with them, so every day when they were at school, the two trained together. Garnet’s earth powers improved quickly, which was very useful. “Come on, then. We’d better go now.” decided Florence, coughing a little and then heading towards the nearest subway. Florence hadn’t slept in a while and was getting a tad sick, but nothing bad developed from it. “Say… what is the story with this Rose?” wondered the wizard of the group, turning to Jake. He frowned a little, as Rose had gone off to be an exchange student in Sweden. They got an ‘Ulrika’ in return. However, Jake and Rose constantly used their dreams to communicate. “Final stop!” Garnet said with a smile and a laugh. She called this out once everyone was off the train and cheered a little as the train went up to Magus Bazaar. “Okay, kids, we got a lot of people set up for ya!” Fu Dog was standing in a room that was pretty much black with a camera to record those who were going to be interviewed. “Apparently, many people get excited to work with the American Dragon.” explained Lao Shi with a small, approving sound as he scratched his beard, “And with a previous Huntsclan member. And two people from a prophecy. Actually, I’d love to join you…” Jake’s grandpa thought about it with a smile. “Sorry, Gramps, I can’t let you get into this much trouble.” explained the American Dragon as he smiled to his grandpa, “Just watch the shop and we’ll keep training with you.” Lao Shi nodded and left with Fu Dog to go back to the rarely open shop. “See ya!” replied the dog, “Good luck!” the group of four waved and then entered this room, letting one person into the interviewing room for the time being. They decided to find out about everyone specifically before learning about their powers, as they would want to work with people who they could tolerate. OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO “I’m not a nice person.” the first person said quite bluntly, “I try not to be this bi*chy person, but I can’t see good or nice things in anybody.” they all nodded to the girl and then ushered her to leave. “Well… we can rule her out.” muttered Jake a little. They went through a couple more interviews until they finally found someone suitable for the group. She came in and seemed to be dressed like a hippie! Florence looked down at her form and saw her name as Bea. It seemed that she lived in another part of New York and went to a rivaling school. (A/N: i2.photobucket.com/albums/y12/chaos44/Bea.jpg )“I’m a bohemian.” explained Bea with a smile and a nod. Florence raised her eyebrow and decided to ask her a question. “Doesn’t that just mean you’re a little bit lazy?” she asked, Bea moving forward a little in a silent laugh. “No.” replied the bohemian with a laugh for a little. Bea then got a serious face and replied, “A little bit lazy.” they then asked about why she was getting fired from all her jobs. Bea seemed to be around their age and was currently a recruitment consultant (those people who recommend jobs for you), “I don’t know why I keep getting fired. I don’t think it’s my personality… and I don’t think I’m that stupid either.” “So how do you feel about your current job?” wondered Tempest curiously as he twirled a pencil in his hand. “I don’t want to be in recruitment long-term.” Bea explained, shaking her head, “I would like to be a stylist… I would like to be a life coach… I would like to… have a vintage clothes shop in New York.” “Well that sounds really interesting.” Garnet said with a smile, curious about Bea’s other clothes that she had, “What else?” “I don’t think that monogamy is very healthy. I don’t think that it makes people happy and I don’t think it’s what we’re supposed to do.” she told them, lifting her shoulders in a shrug, “Eventually I’d like to live in a… like a commune, I suppose, where you co-habit.” Bea smiled as she described this aspiration, “The way forward is to love lots of people.” (A/N: Yay to the philosophy that I follow.)“That’s all great!” Jake said with a smile. Florence looked to the door and then back at Bea before she asked about her powers, as this was the ‘most important thing’. “As a hippie would, my powers are not very offensive based and I don’t fight a lot. Free love, and all that.” Bea laughed and then lifted her arm, letting a gust of wind blow a little bit. “I say she’s perfect.” Florence decided, although it wasn’t in the most enthusiastic way. Then again, nothing that Florence really said these days sounded very enthusiastic, “We’ll give you a call.” Bea thanked them and then left. There were a couple more interviews and only one more useful magical creature. It was unknown what Bea was, as the only assumed thing she could be was an elf because of her huge human-like appearance. However, Bea was taller than all four of the group, so this could not be possible. The second character was a gnome, but it wasn’t very obvious. His name was Jim. “So I’m quite a good fighter.” Jim explained with a laugh, showing off a little muscle, “Got a huge hammer that I love to use.” he explained, lifting a black hammer that was next to him, “So there you go.” “Yes, but we also want to know a little bit about you.” Jake told him and Jim then said ‘oh’ in realization and just laughed. “Well I’m not very good at selling myself.” he scratched his neck a little. They all looked at each other a bit and then back at Jim, “I’m quite… well, fierce, I suppose. A bit short tempered, but fun. I don’t really know.” he laughed a little. “I like the guy.” muttered Garnet with a smile. Everyone else seemed to be bad choices, so Jim and Bea were chosen to join the group, obviously after being briefed about the possible consequences that they have decided to set up for themselves. “You can count on us!” Bea and Jim said in an antiphonal manner. “I hope that Shade’s burdens haven’t been passed on to use for no purpose…” muttered Florence, scratching her head a little and looking away. Little did they know that the battle between them and their enemies would take place numerous times between now and the end of it all. OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO So, this fic isn’t really going to be humorous minus this prologue (a little). Also, the whole thing will generally be based off of the Basement Jaxx CD: Scars. So I’m going to add a little Youtube link to the specific song, so even though you might not like the band or whatever, it seems a little bit of a necessity to listen to the music. Minus this prologue. SO THANK YOU.
|
|
|
Scars
Oct 16, 2009 22:52:00 GMT -5
Post by YFWE on Oct 16, 2009 22:52:00 GMT -5
LOL FANFIC UPDATE WTF
God, I haven't reviewed anything like this in soooo long. :'] Nor have I written anything. IT'S JUST LIKE OLD TIMES, EH? EH? EH?
Anyway... this was a lot of fun to read. I mean, not fun in the DEAR LORD SO MUCH ACTION sort of way, as there wasn't any. I guess it was half me being nostalgic and half just the sheer notion that a new adventure is starting that is exciting. TOO BAD KEVIN WON'T BE THERE. I actually forgot we all used to use each other back in the day, LOL. Fun times, fun times.
This is pretty damn exciting. Or intriguing, I guess that's the better word. So I can't wait to hear more. You'll at least have me reading if no one gets on anymore. ;D
Haha, you've inspired me to go back and read old fanfics. YESSSSSS.
|
|
|
Scars
Oct 17, 2009 3:34:19 GMT -5
Post by ADJLFanatic on Oct 17, 2009 3:34:19 GMT -5
AYE CUCAMUNGA, THAT WAS SCHUPERR GEWDDD.
Mm, it's been a good while since I refreshed myself and more importantly truly remembered everything with the whole storyline on this, but it's coming back to me, don't worry. xD If I ever find the time within the midst of the end of this first quarter in junior year, I'll definitely read back a little so I won't feel too lost.
In all seriousness, though, I feel the way as Kevin. It's a total bonus that you gave us the feeling of a good fan fic after a good while of not having anything else around. I mean, I've obviously been reading ACE, JitD, and JJ from you throughout this year and I've been doing some random updates of SOL, but there's something about the sudden, random bring-up of an ADJL themed story which totally didn't fail to get me this time around. I'm totally guessing you suddenly missed the feel of an action-adventure story? ;O LOL, silly Ewan. (Not that it was ever a bad thing, of course)
But I like this, I really do; it's a great way to start things off. To me, it gives a light feel of what to expect, a little; considering the fact that there's some pretty new things going on here. It kind of clears the air, as to not bring up so much of the past as to let the prologue drag on but not so little as to miss out on the important details. Call me a bit weird, if you will, but of course, we all know that by now. To simply speak, I just think you wrote it well, that's all. And rofl slash major kudos at the Bea reference. I'm guessing will BEA seeing some bea-hemian sort of shiz later on. Ohohoho. ;) HIRA IT COMES THEN, I SUPPOSE SO.
LOL. Keep going, young schwiftbladeee! ;] This is going to be great, I'm sureee!
|
|
|
Scars
Dec 11, 2010 0:54:30 GMT -5
Post by Chaos on Dec 11, 2010 0:54:30 GMT -5
Thanks Raffs and Kevin! XD Don’t worry, I’m going to have everyone appear at least a little bit in the fic. Namely cause it’s gonna be nostalgic and new, as I explained to you. Just click on the chapter title to take you to the song and enjoy! Chapter 1: ScarsIt was midnight. There were clouds rolling around in the sky. The pale moon lit up the streets when the clouds allowed them to. Florence was standing alone outside in the street and listening to the winds blow. She kept on her ‘war outfit’ from when they had that fateful event about a year ago. “It’s been so long.” sighed Florence, her brown hair blowing around in the wind. It had gotten a bit longer than before and her bangs ominously covered one eye. Florence had spent so long protecting everyone that she never went anywhere without her weapons and the dragoon wings that many magical creatures got at the ‘war’. She even risked expulsion by bringing her old bow and arrow to school, just in case. “What are they planning?” wondered the brunette in a hushed tone, as if she would be waking someone up. Florence was such a light sleeper that she knew she would wake up at anyone attacking at night, but she was unable to sleep this night. Everyone in the group had created a necklace with a special diamond-shaped object. They were all exactly the same except for the color. Florence’s was pink, Jake’s was red, Bea’s was yellow, Garnet’s was green, Tempest’s was white, Jim’s was black, and they had another one that was blue that Florence carried around in her bag. If the end of the diamond object was to be touched by the left palm, every necklace-wearer would be alerted and would come to help the person under attack. “Something’s got to happen tonight…” Florence whispered, waiting a moment before taking out her two crossbows. All was quiet. There was a sudden sound of footsteps and the warrior rushed to turn around, only to find the happy bohemian walking up towards her, “What are you doing up so late?” “Probably the same thing as you…” explained Bea quietly, keeping her hands together and at the front of her white dress, “I feel uneasy. It’s horribly unsettling out here, too.” she explained to Bea. There was a flap of wings and Florence took aim, but then noticed the red hue of the dragon as the legendary American Dragon. “Yo, I figured you’d be here.” Jake said, scratching the back of his head nervously after he had turned into his human form. “Should we just call everyone over with the diamonds? Just to be safe…” suggested the brunette, tapping her pink crystal with her index finger. Jake quickly shook his head. “You know… I think they’re actually coming.” he told her. Bea turned around and pointed out to them that Jim had appeared and Florence saw Tempest and Garnet walking down the street towards them. “Is there a reason that this place is the most… sinister-feeling?” wondered Tempest as his spell book floated in front of him. It made casting spells a huge convenience in comparison to having to hold different books for different spells, and even then only being able to hold one hand. They suddenly felt something coming, coming, coming, coming, coming, coming, coming… OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO And suddenly she appeared. Wearing her scary mahogany dress, boots, and blue-gem necklace, Dante was there half-smiling at the group. It wasn’t her real body, but it had sadly taken over the previous memories of the kind Lyla who previously owned the body as somebody to be greatly feared. “You know why I’m here.” Dante said sternly, not moving. Florence didn’t even hesitate to take a step forward and shot an arrow at her. Lifting an arm to create some invisible energy that blocked the arrow into the ground, Dante’s face got a little more serious. “It’s Shade. They want Shade.” replied Jake quite bluntly, clenching his fists and gritting his teeth at the enemy who created so many problems for them and who they all knew was the leader of the association of all of Shade’s enemies. “Smart boy,” replied the 400+-year-old woman, not changing her expression or moving, “So where is he? I would have assumed that he at least turned up to fight.” Dante wondered. Florence launched more arrows at Dante that were all deflected. “Attack!” the brunette called out. Jake flipped into his dragon form and, while still in the air, swung his tail at her. Dante moved out of the way and the tail made an indent in the street, showing Jake’s improved strength. “You are wasting your time…” Dante started to smirk again, lifting her arms when Bea took a gasp of breath and increased the wind force to the evil girl, doing nothing, “I will have no choice but to respond with an attack myself.” “Go ahead and do it!” Jim yelled, hiding his awe from being in the presence of such evil for the first time by attacking. He ran at Dante and was lifted higher into the air with her earth powers. Dante looked up at Jim’s hammer attack, but another invisible shield blocked his impact from doing anything. Jim jumped back and Tempest walked into the fray. “Fireball!” he called out, tapping the magic book that glowed red. The book spun around Tempest in a circle and he aimed his two hands at Dante, sending two fireballs at Dante. She frowned, clapped her hands, and raised one arm to make a giant rock beast rise and block the attack. “You made me do this.” Dante pointed at them and the giant rock monster that made vibrations as it took each step. It swung at Florence, but she made her wings appear and flew out of its way. Jake tried to move, but got whacked and flew against a building. “Jim, look out!” Bea yelled, aiming her palm at him and sending a gust of wind to blow him out of the way of being stomped on. Jim gave her a thumbs up and aimed to try and attack the giant. “Why are you here!?” called out the princess to Dante as she tried to fling some rocks at the monster, but narrowly dodging a car being thrown at her by using the ground to move out of the way. “I have already told you. Where is Shade?” she asked again, still not moving as her creation continued to rampage around. “Forget it!” yelled Jake, looking around for a moment and then ushering a whisper to Florence, who nodded and hovered away a little. Jake flew over to Jim as Florence got out her classic bow and arrow, “Jim, attack its arm!” “Whatever you say!” the non-stereotypical dwarf was lifted and flung in the direction of the giant. It moved it stone arm to grab Jim, but it missed and Jim was able to destroy the arm with his hammer. The monster started stumbling a bit to give Florence a clear hit to use a bomb bow to blow up its feet and destroy it entirely. “Get out. Now.” Florence said to Dante, switching back to her dual crossbows. Dante closed her eyes and sighed. “I guess I will simply have to attack you all until you tell me where he is,” decided Dante with a small sigh. She took the smallest step forward ever and then vanished. She reappeared in the center of their little circle and lifted her arms out, sending out spires behind all six of them and sending them flying. “A little warning from that would have been nice…” groaned Jim as he used his hammer to help himself up. “That’s not what enemies do, Jim,” explained Tempest, touching his book and sending a wave of water at Dante. She lifted her hand and the water disappeared before them all. Dante appeared in front of Tempest and punched him back with incredible force into a telephone pole. Bea turned to Florence after quickly formulating an idea. “We should all split up so that she can’t get us all at once…” the hippie whispered to Florence, who nodded. The two whispered it to the others and Garnet summoned Odin, the warrior on the horse, to attack Dante for a distraction. The princess quickly briefed Tempest and they all split up. OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO When the summon flew at Dante, all she had to do was lift her hand and the summon stopped in the air. There was an unusual barrier that couldn’t be seen around it and then it exploded. The six heroes all saw it from their split up locations, but continued to get as far away from each other as they could. “How clever to go separate ways,” noted Dante when she obliterated Garnet’s summon, “But also incredibly foolish.” she grinned and used her unusually quick speed to go around the streets of New York until she found Tempest running. He was lagging behind the others in speed, as he had just recently been hit by Dante. “There she is…” the wizard muttered under his breath, starting to turn around for a spell, but Dante grabbed onto his cloak and pulled Tempest closer to her. “You can tell me where Shade is and then you will not suffer anymore.” the leader offered. He grunted from being strangled by the cloak. “N…No!” Tempest was finally able to call out. There was a small pause of Tempest struggling to break free and Dante not doing anything. There was a sudden flash of energy blasting around Dante that flew the wizard into the ground. “That’s okay.” she said quite calmly, “I can find someone else.” Dante noted that Tempest truly had been felled from the combination of the punch and this attack, and left him be as he lay in the road. The next in Dante’s sights as she jumped from roof to roof was Bea. Ironically, she was doing the same as Dante to run. “Oh no…” gasped Bea under her breath when she barely heard Dante’s feet tapping as she jumped, knowing that she was right behind her. Dante reached out for her, but Bea was able to jump off the building in time. She was glad that she had remembered to take her hair extensions out before she went to bed and hadn’t put them back in. Dante suddenly appeared behind her, as she had jumped off the roof and was heading towards her. “You can’t beat me or run from me. Give up!” she called out to Bea. She gave Dante a cold look and swung her arm around her body to send a gust of wind to send her flying back. The attack succeeded, but Dante unnaturally latched onto the building that she landed on. The building flew back as Dante darted towards Bea. “What on earth?” wondered the bohemian as she felt the ground below her raise rapidly. Dante slammed into Bea and she rolled around on the ground as Dante got to her feet without a scratch or speck of dirt on her. “What a shame. You look like you are in pain.” Dante noted as Bea opened an eye to the evil woman, groaning and not even bothering to get up. “Why?” she asked. Dante waited for a moment and then heard more footsteps. She didn’t bother to answer Bea and rushed off to the new person: Jim. He quickly met the same fate as his comrades, as did Garnet. “It seems that we’re gonna have to do our best to beat her down,” Jake noted, turning to Florence as the two were flying in the air. Florence paused for a moment and sighed, “She would find us soon anyway.” “You’re right. We might as well give it a try.” the brunette agreed. Jake nodded and looked for her. He peered to see Garnet crouched over near a parking lot to a fancy restaurant and saw Dante not too far by, looking around carefully. “I’ll go first.” decided the dragon, flying as quietly as he could closer to her until he unleashed a huge breath of fire, but Dante heard Jake’s attack the second flames shot out of his mouth and lifted her arm at it, making the fire vanish in a matter of seconds. “Found you.” Dante smirked as a rock fist flew from the air and grazed Jake’s wing, sending him down into the sidewalk. Dante lifted her arm again and Florence launched an arrow at her. She was able to get out of the way, but the arrow hit her dress and revealed some skin on her arm. Unlike before when it was nothing but rotting flesh, Dante’s skin was a mixture of normal and horrible scars. Dante scowled at the revealed skin and then up at Florence. Her eyebrows moved slightly and an invisible force slammed her down to the street. “Do you really think that Shade is your only threat…?” mumbled Florence, leaning up as Dante started strolling towards her, her boots making noise as she walked. “I know that is the truth. Just look at you all,” Dante replied and Florence looked around to all of her fallen comrades, feeling quite defeated. Suddenly, Dante grabbed her brunette hair so that they could look eye-to-eye, “My scars are burning to eradicate him and every other selfish human on this planet.” “Why don’t you… get us now…?” Florence asked in between breaths, being in pain. Dante fixed her gaze on Florence more and finally let go of her hair. “No,” was all she was able to explain to Florence, “Besides, it would be much too easy for us. Killing Shade will be the most satisfying thing for the entirety of our group, and we want to do that first before anything else.” Dante explained her intentions for wanting to get Shade first. “And what if you can’t find him?” groaned the American Dragon from nearby. Dante closed her eyes and let out a small chuckle as she placed her hand on the cut in her dress, which repaired it. “I suppose… we will have to keep coming.” said Dante, opening her eyes. She took two steps back and then vanished from their view. Florence held on for as long as she could before she passed out. OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO Three figures were tending to the six heroes as they stirred and finally awoke. It didn’t feel like daytime, as the sun was hidden quite heavily behind the dark clouds. “You’re finally coming to,” noted Raffi with a warm smile, fixing the sheets on Florence’s bed, “Welcome back.” “You guys are crazy if what Jake’s telling me is really true…” Ash said, pointing to Jake with her thumb. He was the only of the six not lying down in the bed, as he had only taken a shot to the wing, “Taking on Dante like that… you could have at least told her the truth that we don’t know where Shade is.” “She wouldn’t believe that,” explained Kevin quickly, forming ice cubes to put in a zip-lock bag for Jim’s leg, “It may be the truth, but they know that Shade isn’t the type to cut off and run.” the dragon looked awkwardly at Florence, who truly looked defeated. “They’ll be back, anyway. Maybe not Dante, but she did tell me that they will keep coming.” the brunette explained, looking down at the chi-pattern on her green dress. “Like that horrible Maelstrom.” named Garnet, letting everyone know that she was awake. “Anyway… Dante’s power is unimaginably strong,” the wizard explained, looking around a little worriedly for his spell book and then being put at ease to see it settled nicely at an end-table, “She took one step and flew around the whole of New York, she didn’t even have to wave her hand to protect herself, and when she did flick her wrist she was able to create that giant rock monster!” “You just have to be glad that you have your health.” Raffi said positively. “Yeah, so that you can fight another day!” Ash yelled, throwing her fist into the air. The six felt quite hesitant to have a similar battle and Bea suddenly piped up. “The thing that she said about her scars scared me…” the bohemian explained, “I didn’t know whether or not she was talking about her physical scars, mental scars, or both.” “I’m guessing both…” Jim replied to Bea, letting out a long sigh. “We all have scars. At the moment, we are dealing with our physical scars. These may not entirely heal, but don’t cut deep. Mental scars are the worst.” Florence said the last sentence quite direly and Kevin seemed to notice. “Like… the mental scars that you have now?” he wondered. They all turned to her and she continued to stare at her dress with a face that looked like a mixture of frustration, concentration, and sorrow. “Let’s go train,” she suddenly said and slowly got out of her bed. Raffi tried to move her back to the bed, but Florence showed enough strength to stop Raffi from doing this that Kevin and Ash allowed her to get up and leave. Soon, the other five followed suit and made their way out of the room. The physical scars would get better, and would have to with the ensuing battles. The mental scars would not heal as quickly or even at all, and these scars were the ones that hurt the most. OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO Now I expect even LESS of you guys to see this and review! Hahaha, I literally wrote this in the past two days having being inspired by both Basement Jaxx and random actiony stuff. This chapter didn’t completely follow with the song, but that’s okay. I just wasn’t able to fill the ENTIRE chapter of fighting with Dante, as cool as that would have been. Enjoy, and I will try not to take another year for another chapter.
|
|
|
Scars
Dec 11, 2010 15:57:27 GMT -5
Post by ADJLFanatic on Dec 11, 2010 15:57:27 GMT -5
Well, this was truly a shock. xD It's been, what, a year and two months since the last update? Not that it's necessarily a bad thing, you know (especially since I'm more at fault for my own lack of updating, teehee).
Although I can honestly say I'm drawing a bit of a blank and I can barely remember how the storyline went exactly, I did my best to catch on by rereading the prologue. I didn't need a reread to enjoy the battle scene, though, and I do vaguely remember about Dante and what went on in past stories, so well, not so bad? :] Plus, I did say I'd start rereading over winter break anyway. I may even start bringing my laptop to school and such, maybe leave some pages available offline so I can read them on the go. After all, I'm always busy these days and I do get bored without my handy dandy laptop. >__> But if not, I definitely promise to reread starting next Friday or Saturday.
Well, even if I can't say too much about the story in terms to how it's progressed storyline-wise, I have, though, seen a huge improvement in your writing, especially since the last update was put up so long ago. I've also noticed this through other "personal" fan fic updates we've had over email, but you know, this showed a lot more growth in my opinion. I can see what's changed in the past year, yet I can also feel the sameness in your writing that brings me back to what I loved about reading your stories. Mm, if that makes sense? :3
But hey, I don't know when the next update will be. All I know is that it's bound to be good. You've left at it a pretty good spot, even though I am still genuinely confused in a few parts, but you know me, so it's really nothing new. xD Keep it up, Ewanbummyboo!
|
|
|
Scars
Dec 14, 2010 0:51:11 GMT -5
Post by YFWE on Dec 14, 2010 0:51:11 GMT -5
Sorry it took me so long to review! I had to reread the prologue as well to actually remember what was going on here. In retrospect, reading pretty much ALL your fanfics would be the best thing to do, since I was a bit foggy on some of the characters. ALAS, I haven't the free time for such an undertaking! So this will have to do.
I did quite enjoy this! Though interestingly enough, it didn't feel to me like a first chapter of a story at all. I think that's probably due to the fact that you tend to write different stories that span across the same general storyline... kinda like a series more than anything. So while the action was like WHOA ALREADY? at first, it made sense given the pacing that we're used to with you.
Well, there's that AND the fact that you were always more of an action writer anyway, so OF COURSE there'll be a lot of it! The action itself was intriguing enough, though it could be MORE action-y, but this also the first chapter, so hell, you've got forever to build up there. I did enjoy seeing these newer recruits in action, though I enjoyed even more seeing the old band of characters (AKA OUR CHARACTERS) making an appearance.
I say that because, and maybe you'll agree me with me (perhaps Raffi, Ash and others who were around at that time will too), the thrill of these stories was always seeing each other's characters in there! Like ZOMG HE'S WRITING ABOUT MY GUY YAY and stuff. NOT TO SAY that any story otherwise is not good and that this story would be boring without them. I definitely think it's an added bonus seeing them in there, though. And makes me miss four years ago, when literally all we did was write about each other's characters. And the canon ADJL characters when we had the time. But mostly ours.
I think if there was ONE point of mild criticism I have, I think it'd be via your use of pronouns. Using 'the brunette' or 'the hippie' to describe characters can get quite redundant and feels sorta odd. I get what you're trying to do there with trying to not just post their names each time. I've actually learned more recently, however, that using pronouns and describing words in place of an actual name is not actually THAT necessary. I mean, look at a lot of successful book series. You'll see them on occasion, but not that often. Sometimes it's best to just say who you mean as directly as possible. It thusly eliminates another link the reader has to make with that character, like, 'okay, wait, brunette... who's that again?' My point is: used in moderation is fine, but I'd also definitely recommend changing it up a bit -- either by adding other pronouns in there or otherwise.
Obviously just a mild criticism. I'll spare you other things I could talk about. Great start! Very excited to be reading your work again.
|
|
|
Scars
Dec 14, 2010 22:05:57 GMT -5
Post by Chaos on Dec 14, 2010 22:05:57 GMT -5
Thanks for the reviews again, OF COURSE. Yeah, the action may seem kinda random, but it’s a bit simple yet easy to miss that they’re only fighting just so that they don’t die and are protecting the city, while sort of trying to keep it a secret that they don’t know where Shade is and stuff… actually it’s confusing to me too. Well anyway, CLICK THE TITLE AND LISTEN AND READ AND ENJOY. Chapter 2: RaindropsA couple of days later healed their wounds completely and the group had been vigilant in staying on top of everything in case another villain was to appear. Jake had been having a bit of a down day and was sitting alone at Central Park. He found a bench near a tree that he and Rose would always sit on. This sentimental feeling made the dragon excited to sleep tonight and dream with the blonde. Although it had been a bit of time since she had visited his dreams. The sun was setting and there was a strange, yet beautiful mixture of colors that shone on Central Park. It warmed Jake’s heart, but he still felt heavy with want for Rose. He looked back up at the sky to see clouds appearing on the opposite side of the setting sun. It seemed a little odd to Jake, but he didn’t look into it much more. Rose had admitted to Jake that she wasn’t exactly sure where she was in their last dream session, as she had only recently landed from her long flight. “There were some problems at the Swedish airport, so we couldn’t land there,” the former Huntsgirl had explained to Jake, “But to be honest, I wish I knew exactly where we landed.” she told him with a nervous laugh. Rose probably was in Sweden now, or at least she should know where she actually is. Jake found himself at the little playground at Central Park that all the kids would go to. It was a shame that Dante’s recent attack has made most of the citizens of New York afraid to leave their house anytime past about 4 o’clock, because the children would usually be playing at this little playground. Even though it was around the time when people left to go home, it was entirely deserted. “Huh?” Jake suddenly wondered out loud. He looked up to sky and saw that most of it was covered by the clouds. The sunset had mostly vanished, which is the reason why Jake was able to notice the clouds. He looked uneasily at the sky as it got darker and darker. “I hope it doesn’t rain.” he finally said to himself, hopping out of the playground area and shoving his hands in the pockets of his red jacket. Jake groaned when he felt a raindrop on his head and held out his hand to feel more raindrops. “Great.” he kept walking as the rain started getting heavier. However, when it went to a rather light rainfall, the rain stayed at this constant speed. Jake was glad that the rain wasn’t too heavy, but it was still irritating to have rain at all. Especially if there were to be attack, then he would be at a disadvantage with his fire powers. Continuing on, Jake mumbled under his breath on how many lies the ‘weather people’ told the nation every day. He was ready to get out of his wet clothes and just have a warm drink and play video games. However, as the dragon kept walking, he felt something quite uneasy. “What’s going on?” Jake wondered when he quickly turned around at the weird sound of sloshing water. He saw some of the rain and puddles in the ground start to form into humanoid shapes. They weren’t specific people, but simply water-based humanoids. “Darn it, I already hate the rain,” began the dragon, quickly changing forms, “and now I’ve got to fight it.” Jake complained, punching one of the figures that transfigured back to normal from its puddle status. One of the arms of the beings stretched out and hit Jake in the gut, sending him flying back a bit. He used his wings to slow down how far he went. “I don’t need back-up, yet, I can take you!” Jake insisted with a yell, admitting in his mind that this would be easier with someone who could actually control water and make them all vanish. He planned to evaporate them with a breath of fire, but his fire powers were severely weakened by the rain. “Ouch!” he yelled when one of the humanoids turned into its own wave and slammed into Jake. He hit a tree and a heavy branch landed next to him. Thinking that he had a decent idea, Jake picked up the branch and started using it as a weapon. When the humanoids started vanishing, he thought that he had been doing a good job. However, this was not quite the case. OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO “You put up quite a fight…” an eerie voice told Jake after his little show-down with her creations. “Hana, yes?” Jake asked when he saw the hunched figure of the old woman with her long, gray hair covering the entirety of her face. He figured that this would be a good time to call everyone over, and he quickly clasped the diamond in his left hand and activated the alarm. The red diamond glowed brightly, but Hana didn’t seem worried. “Shade isn’t here to fight with you?” the old lady asked Jake, starting to walk over to the dragon. Jake chucked the branch that he was using to the side and started walking over, too. “No, he didn’t.” was all he said before he flew into the air and towards Hana, both arms out and ready to hit her. Hana lifted her arms and the raindrops formed into a water wall. As Jake passed through it, Hana froze the water and there was an odd ice block around Jake’s stomach and wings that made him fall. “Well do you know where he is? Or maybe that was you calling him right now.” Hana requested and assumed. Jake shook his head and hit the ice with the incredible strength of his tail to free him from the little trap. “I can take you,” Jake told her, standing up and getting into a little battle stance, “Come on!” Hana smirked and lifted her arm, making the grass die and the water from it appear in the air. She froze it into a large icicle javelin and flung it at Jake, who flipped around and threw it back at her. Hana flicked her hand and it went back to its water state. “Nice try, but if you can’t beat me, then whoever you called won’t be of any help.” she told Jake, lifting her arms and making the raindrops freeze into a shield when Jake blasted some fireballs in her direction. When the shield shattered, Hana sent the shards back at him. Jake hit most into pieces with his claws, but did take a few hits. “Just relax and focus on the battle at hand, Hana,” he taunted with a smile. Jake let out a breath of fire that flew to her and then swung his arm in a semi-circle that sent a line of fire towards her. Hana lowered her arms and the raindrops splashed powerfully over her until she practically turned into a puddle. The flames flew over where she had vanished and did nothing. “Hahaha…” her sinister laughter echoed throughout the park. “Wha… where did she go!?” wondered Jake out loud. Hana silently appeared behind Jake and used her powers to push her leg with force by surrounding it with water. The impact made Jake fly forward and take a tumble before he got back to his feet, “Huh… you’re pretty tough for an old hag…” he admitted. “Seems so,” Hana replied, but then started rubbing her leg, “But I’m only human… and old age seems to be taking some toll on me.” she explained, but then went back into a battle stance to show that she wasn’t done yet. Jake looked at her curiously for a moment before returning the same gesture with his own battle stance. However, something caused them to put their battle on pause. “Jake, are you there!?” called out a female voice. Jake flew away from a water blast heading towards him and noticed that it was Bea calling out to him. The other four were also with her, although possibly not exactly behind her. “I’m here, guys!” the dragon called to them to make sure that they knew he was there, “It’s Hana, so be careful!” a gust of wind blew at Hana and she let out a yell and rolled around in the ground. “You need to rest?” Tempest asked Jake, “Maybe a healing spell?” Jake shook his head and explained that they hadn’t been fighting for long anyway. Hana stood up and looked at everyone there. “Still no Shade, I see.” she noted. Florence raised her arm and shot an arrow at the old woman, but she shot it to the ground by making the raindrops push it. “Looks like the rain is making her more powerful…” Garnet realized, “She probably made it herself.” she stomped the ground to make an earthquake centered at Hana, but she used the waves to raise her from the ground and use a water whip on Garnet to make the attack stop. “The sun’s going down.” Hana said randomly as there was a sudden silence and no one attacked. The sun completely vanished as this happened and Hana seemed to do a movement that made some clouds part, even though it was still raining. OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO They all suddenly started rushing at Hana and the battle got quite intense. Jake flew towards Hana, but she froze his tail that was hanging low to the ground and jumped out of the way as she slammed him with a water blast. Princess Garnet used the earth to push her to Hana, but Hana used a powerful whip of water to split the rock into pieces and the girl rolled to the ground. The water specialist flew Garnet away with a wave so that she didn’t have time to retaliate. Jim ran up with his hammer and Hana quickly lifted and lowered her arms, making the raindrops falling on the hammer quicken and make the hammer fall out of his hands. He kept sliding due to the wet ground, but then fell after Hana lifted water from the grass and pushed him away. Hana created a burst of fog around herself and Bea right before the bohemian was about to attack. She was so focused on blowing away the fog to see that she didn’t realize that Hana had encased most of her body in water and then froze it. The wizard was next to go after the old lady and used a shadow spell that made a line from where Tempest’s shadow would be that animated into a shadow humanoid. Hana quickly disposed of it by making a similar humanoid and then using the water from this creature to hit Tempest back. Jake unfroze himself and flew back at Hana, but she used the slight amount of ice left on his tail to swing him around in a circle and then chuck him behind her. They all had recuperated and got up to go and attack her. Hana spun around in a circle and a giant waterfall of water circled her and then she used it to push them all away. All six of the group groaned as they lay down on the wet grass. They had gone through many moments recently where they felt so defeated and depleted of energy. Hana had just been standing there in a creepy manner as they were all lying down. “Why bother continuing…?” she wondered as they all groaned, quite obviously showing the pain that they were in. They all started getting up, though, and got to their feet. Jake was the first to do so and flipped his wet hair back to where it usually sat on his head. “We aren’t gonna be defeated this easily!” Jake said proudly, clenching his fists and glaring at Hana. The others finally balanced on their feet and nodded vigorously. “We won’t lose in the same way that we did to Dante,” Florence told the old woman, “No way.” she lifted her arms and aimed her crossbows at Hana. “Besides, you’re an old woman. What damage can you possibly do to us?” wondered Jim with a chuckle, holding up his black hammer. They all stood silent and awaited what Hana was about to do next after that quick surge of a defeat that she gave them. The old woman lifted her arms up and swirled the clouds a bit. “Very well.” Hana said. OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO Hana slowly lifted her arms and then lowered them. She was facing directly at Florence, who let out a loud gasp and felt her hand moving on its own. “Oh no!” she gasped, “Not… not again!” Florence called out, recalling the time Hana controlled her and Kevin. None of them had realized that when Hana moved the clouds out of the way a little that it was to reveal a full moon shining down at them. The water manipulator quickly moved her other arm to another. “Whoa, this feels weird!” Jim’s voice called out, walking side to side unnaturally and barely holding onto his hammer with one hand. “Why didn’t we realize this before?” wondered Garnet under her breath, annoyed at this small thing that most people would have overlooked anyway. “Just make sure that you don’t actually hurt them!” Jake called out, starting to fly to Hana, as she knew that taking down the puppet master would free the two. Hana quickly moved her left arm and Jim floated by and slammed Jake with his hammer. “I’m sorry, Jake!” yelled the dwarf, “I can’t control myself!” he lifted his arms again to hit Jake for the second time, but Jake swung his tail and made Jim trip over. “Wah!” called out Florence as she headed towards Jake, aiming her crossbow at him. Bea swung her arm at the brunette and blew the weapon out of her hand. Jake continued and punched Hana to get her grip off of Florence and Jim. “She better not do THAT again…” complained Jim, rubbing his arm as he was able to move it on his own. He lifted his hammer with both hands and ran over to her, lifting it over his head to prepare an attack. “Jim, watch out!” Garnet’s voice yelled to him as she ran over to him and smacked him in the head with her racquet. “Ouch, what was that for!?” he yelled at her, but then realized that she was being controlled by Hana because of the weird way that the summoner was moving around, “Oh…” Jim realized and then pushed her out of the way, only to have Garnet be pushing him more away from Hana. “This isn’t right!” Bea yelled as she was moving her hips around to make the ends of her dress start moving around before kicking Jake down. “Can she control our powers if she controls us?” wondered Garnet in a yell as she lifted her arm to slap Florence around, but the brunette grabbed her wrist and chucked her over her shoulder. “No, so it’s not like she can easily just kill us all.” Florence explained, turning to Hana and using her other crossbow to shoot an arrow at her. The water controller got rid of her control on Garnet and raised an ice wall to block the attack. “What a shame, right!?” Hana called out, swinging her other arm to make Bea rise off the ground and lay horizontally in the air. The old lady tossed her at them and Bea screamed as she flew in the air. “Don’t worry; I got you!” Jim called out and let go of his hammer to successfully catch Bea. The bohemian let out a long sigh and patted his chest. “Thanks a lot!” she smiled and quickly got to her feet. Bea made sure that the flower in her hair was fixed properly, as it fell out easily and would be hard to find, before the battle could continue. However, Hana eerily lifted her arms up and lowered them. “I do apologize, but at the risk of having a battle much similar to Dante’s, I must leave.” Hana told them. There was a little noise and the raindrops all changed into a thick fog. “Hey, wait!” Jake’s voice yelled. It took a while for his wings and Bea’s wind powers to blow away the fog. As expected, Hana was already long gone and the raindrops had stopped falling. The clouds weren’t going away and didn’t appear to be going away soon, either. “This is so random,” complained Florence, “They want to know where Shade is, but do they think pummeling us is gonna get the answers out of us?” “Looks like it… either way, with or without world domination at the moment, they’re all in the shadows,” explained Garnet, pushing her black hair back, “The ball’s in their court, so we should be glad that they’re just coming out of hiding instead of just taking us all over.” They all stopped talking for that moment to truly take in what Garnet had said and just how lucky they really were. OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO This chapter is too similar to the first, but as I said, there’s gonna be a lot of action in this story. Specifically in the first half. I’m going to enjoy the second half, but I still hope you enjoy this. Next chapter’s gonna be really fun to write, too! YAY. And this one matched more to the song. DOUBLE YAY.
|
|
|
Scars
Dec 15, 2010 1:06:44 GMT -5
Post by YFWE on Dec 15, 2010 1:06:44 GMT -5
Amusing chapter! I think a lot of the stuff I said/would have said about last chapter pretty much stands here because both chapters are so similar!
It's actually quite frustrating to always see this group unable to do anything about a bunch of old women, particularly when their group outnumbers said women almost every time. You almost feel like this should be easier, not to undermine Dante or Hana's abilities of course, and it in turns frustrates me as the reader. This is not a bad thing! It actually helps to connect with the story more. Which is definitely good.
Hope Shade makes an appearance soon! Mainly so it's not just more of this HEY WHERE'S SHADE and they're like LOL WE AREN'T TELLING YOU and they're like OH OK BRAHS WE'LL FIGHT YOU THEN. It's been very interesting, as mentioned before, to see these newer characters in action, of course. Hopefully you'll end up doing even more development on them in particular.
If there's one thing that stood out to me that I was a bit iffy about, it's the "scene breaks." You know, the oOoOoOoOoOoO and the like. Because they don't actually separate scenes or even individual ideas, it brings about a bit of a strange feel, like a stop-and-start that you don't really want to do. We're in the middle of the action and it's like HEY RANDOM BREAK HERE and then getting back to the action right where it left off, and it breaks the momentum completely. Just a minor observation.
Looking forward to the next one!
|
|
|
Scars
Dec 16, 2010 0:44:19 GMT -5
Post by ADJLFanatic on Dec 16, 2010 0:44:19 GMT -5
=] First of all, I'd like to point out this one thing: I LOVE YIFWEE. YOUR INCREDIBLY FAVORITE WRITER EVER AND EVER.
Lolk. Cool story, bro. Ahem. Anyway.
Teehee. Well, gee, truly I wasn't surprised by this next encounter. Not a bad thing, but you know, it's when something almost seemingly ordinary starts off, it sets the scene for something that you know is there and is yet to unravel. Though it would be cool if one of these days, you actually start a chapter in the middle or somewhere along the beginning of a battle scene. I don't know, maybe just a different approach I feel I could contribute to your following chapters as to change things up a bit so that it may not become redundant in the near-future, like all, "Oh, look, here comes so and so to attack the group again" running through a reader's mind. That is since, simply because I'm obviously not the author of this story, I'm only assuming that the action will obviously ensue. For now, I've missed this surreal thrill and sense of complete combativeness far too much to really care more about it; for me, though, it's merely a suggestion.
As what Kevin said, though, I can mostly concur with this sense of frustration I keep feeling because of the fact that they seem to be beat so easily all the while they obviously outnumber the enemies they keep encountering. It's a good thing to me, really. Mostly because, I'm dying to figure out what'll happen after the similar feat of battle scenes and such breaks off and becomes a new part of the story itself. I mean, psht, this story isn't a story without Shade. We all know this. And he's bound to come soon, but knowing that isn't the point of this fic. For me, when reading stories, it's not about knowing the main parts that matters. I'm the kind who worries about details, whether they be significant, subtle, and such and such. So I'm here chewing my fingers off knowing that this and such will happen, but because there are so many possibilities on how the return of Shade and their motif behind his rivals' search, it always leaves me thinking. Therefore, it will remain a surprise for me, and obviously, that's a good thing to do with readers like us. So good job for making me frustrated. I also applaud you on this. ;3
Well, yeah. All I have left to say and take care of, really, is the rereading part. Since, admittedly, a huge amount of characters is throwing me off a little and I honestly don't remember what half of them do, what their powers are, why they're important, etc. And of course, the overall storyline is obviously important as well, and how do you enjoy an addition to a saga if you don't recall/know how the last parts of it went? So of course, as I said, rereading this series will be an asterisked box, bullet, or whatever on my checklist for winter break.
Gee, I am feeling quite nostalgic again. Almost like I want to get back into writing ADJL like I used to. I often do and have wished to, but I know nowadays I can't ever keep myself on track. I do miss ADJL fan fics oh so much, though, and I'm glad you and Yifwee still keep it real and alive. I feel that slight spark of inspiration, sigh. :')
Again, I must beg of you, please continue. That's all I can say. Obviously I love this enough so as that I didn't plan on being redundant with the whole "LOL OMG COOL CHAPTER BRO, UPDATE SOON K?" Not that I wouldn't to begin with, but just thought I'd barf out some love and constructive criticism.
MORE, EWAN. MORE.
|
|
|
Scars
Dec 19, 2010 1:27:48 GMT -5
Post by Chaos on Dec 19, 2010 1:27:48 GMT -5
Thanks as always for the reviews, guys. LOVE YOU. LIKE A BRO. AND SIS IN CHRIST (Yes, some people probably do ACTUALLY say that). Clicky and ready. Chapter 3: She’s No GoodTempest took a moment to push back his cloak and then took a stance. Rocks flew at him and he grinned and used his own earth spell to raise stalagmites that stopped the rocks. “Gonna have to do better than that!” he taunted. Garnet grinned and accepted this challenge, jumping into the air and making a rumbling sound upon impact of the ground. A rocky wave headed to Tempest and he fell over. Garnet let out a chuckle this time. “There you go. You fell over, didn’t you?” she giggled and held onto her racquet with both hands. There was a small sound and the end of the weapon glowed. The summon that appeared was Shiva, who blew a cold wave of ice over the park. “Only Shiva?” Tempest asked Garnet, who looked confident in her abilities, “She’ll be easy to stop!” the wizard said as he created a spell that made a wall of fire to stop the ice breath. “Huh?” the blue summon wondered after noting that her attack failed. Tempest then hurled a giant fireball at Shiva and she vanished from the attack. “Good hit, I must admit,” Garnet told Tempest with a small nod. She took a quick look over to the school across the fence and then carried on with what she was saying when she didn’t see any students leaving the school, “But you must know that we are only training. And I’m going easy on you.” “That’s a nice excuse, princess.” laughed Tempest, flipping some pages on his flying spell book and then touching the open page. He then aimed his palm at Garnet and blades of wind came her way. “Ah!” she gasped and ducked. One of the five blades skidded across her arm and she gave Tempest a glare. Garnet prepared another summon and the fiery beast Ifrit appeared to block the second wave of wind blades. Ifrit’s defending of Garnet did help her, but depleted Garnet’s daily summon power. “And now you’re open. Haha!” called out Tempest with a socky laugh. He created a water laser spell and Garnet raised the earth to block the attack. “Yeah, but I’m still hungry…” “Sorry, I have too much homework tonight.” “I’m excited for that too!” Tempest took a quick look at the school to see people had left it. Their training seemed to make them not realize that the bell of the school rang. “Gotta keep a look out for the group then,” Tempest said cautiously. Garnet nodded and stayed in her same stance. “Yep…” Garnet said slowly. Her gaze was locked on Tempest. The wizard took another quick moment to look at the school and suddenly noticed this blonde girl walking by. Next thing Tempest knew was that he was on the ground. “Ooh… ouch…” he groaned. “Yes, I got you!” cheered Garnet. She had taken the opportunity of Tempest’s distraction to use her earth powers to move her to Tempest quickly and then punched him to the ground. He wasn’t hurt badly, but he was mostly quite stunned. “Who… who is that?” Tempest wondered after Garnet helped him up. He was still looking at the blonde and Garnet looked over at her and then back at Tempest. She let out a small sigh and then looked on. “Come on, Tempest, the others are walking to the electronics shop,” the black-haired girl grabbed Tempest’s cloak and started dragging him along the sidewalk until he got out of his daze and walked with Garnet to the store. OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO “Really? No recent attacks?” Spud asked the group when the all had gathered at the store. It was a long weekend, so Spud, Trixie, Kevin, Raffi, and Ash were able to join the usual group of six. “Yeah, it’s nice.” Bea replied to Spud bluntly with a smile and pushing her hair back. “Also a bit unsettling then, I assume,” Trixie put in her two cents to the topic at hand, “I mean, if they were just attacking on a ‘schedule’, then you’d simply know that they attack, you fight, and then they leave.” “Yes, that’s true,” Jake sighed, crossing his arms and closing his eyes, “Now I’m paranoid, thanks a lot!” he furrowed his eyebrows. “You know, though, we’ve all been training a lot more recently,” Florence decided to be a bit more positive, “There’s been a lot of time since Hana attacked. I’m hoping that next time we can actually take on whoever attacks and get some answers out of them.” “You say that as if we’re going to take them hostage.” giggled Bea and then Florence looked at her a bit seriously and Bea slowly stopped giggling and awkwardly scratched her head and looked at her knees. “So who’s that blonde girl at your school?” wondered Tempest quite randomly. He directed this question towards the five who didn’t usually see the group. “Very specific, wizard boy.” laughed Ash with a snarky smile. Tempest rolled his eyes and explained a little bit more detail to the girl who he had only caught a quick glimpse of before being dragged to the store. “Oh, Ulrika?” the wizard felt a chill at the sound of her name when Kevin said it, “Yeah, she’s the exchange student from Sweden. Why Rose isn’t with us.” “You don’t have to be so blunt about that last part.” criticized Raffi and then looked at Jake. “What? Oh, it’s fine! Really!” Jake lied. He hadn’t been in contact with Rose in a while and he was worried about how she was doing in Sweden. “Why do you ask, anyway?” Ash turned to Tempest. “Oh, I just saw her earlier and was curious.” he pushed his messy lime green hair back and casually leaned back in the chair that he was sitting in. Garnet crossed her arms and looked away. Florence picked up on this, but decided not to question anything. “Well you’d better stay away from her,” Spud suddenly brought up. Tempest looked at the young man curiously, wondering why anyone should stay away from such beauty, “She barely shows up to class and almost never does homework.” “I’m sure that there’s a good reason behind that.” insisted Tempest, casually ignoring this minor setback in the girl. “I see her loitering around that abandoned warehouse throwing things around.” Raffi threw her comment in and Tempest rolled her eyes. “How a girl spends her time is no one’s business but her own.” he defended Ulrika. Ash let out a few laughs and shook her head. “She’s no good.” she finally just told Tempest. This really got him upset and he let out a really loud, agitated sigh that even stopped everyone’s side conversations. “Can we just stop talking about Ulrika then?” Tempest requested. “You’re the one who brought her up…” on the contrary to her personality and how she acted, Garnet said this. Tempest looked quite surprised when the timid princess said this so rashly, but didn’t respond to her. “I’ll just see her myself then.” he finally said after a long bit of silence. Tempest stood up and calmly left the store to leave the others to focus on more important issues at hand. Garnet couldn’t really focus, though, and left soon, too. OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO The next day, Tempest found himself near the school and training by himself. He kept looking at the school grounds to keep a look out for Ulrika. There was a ringing sound and he rushed across the street, recalling that Ulrika seemed to walk in a rushed way. “Hey!” Tempest quickly greeted himself brightly. Ulrika stopped and looked at Tempest, but not with much interest, “Um… I’m Tempest.” “I’m Ulrika.” for a Swede, she didn’t have much of an accent. Tempest didn’t really care though and flashed her a big smile. Ulrika raised her eyebrow curiously and awaited the wizard to continue the conversation. “Would you like to go somewhere with me?” Tempest asked. Ulrika’s eyebrow stayed raised and she responded slowly. “Sure…” she seemed very lethargic, but Tempest didn’t mind and grabbed her wrist. “Let’s go then!” he took her to a park where they could sit on a bench and relax. There were other people there, but not too close to the two. The two sat together quite awkwardly and Ulrika looked very obviously bored. “Anything you really want to talk about?” wondered Tempest, hoping that she would bring up conversation. She shook her head. “Nope.” and then Ulrika looked down at her nails. Tempest let out a small sigh and scratched his arm quite nervously. “I wish Shade was here to give some advice…” he muttered. Ulrika looked at Tempest curiously. “Shade? You mean that guy who vanished?” she wondered. It was Tempest’s turn to raise his eyebrow when Ulrika mentioned this. “Yeah… how did you know that?” he warily asked her. She let out a small shrug. “Some kids in class talk about him sometimes. What’s the story?” Ulrika asked. Tempest fixed his blue cloak quickly and let out a small sigh. “Well there are these horrible villains that have been after him recently,” he began, “So he’s gone off to find out where they are and beat them.” “Why doesn’t anyone go with him and help him?” wondered Ulrika. “Well no one knows where he is.” Tempest said with a frown. “Really?” he nodded and Ulrika looked pensive for a moment. The conversation seemed to bring out the social ways in Ulrika. This made Tempest care even less when she did the things that his friends warned him about. “Ooh, that was a big rock.” Tempest laughed with Ulrika when she threw the rock through one of the closed stores nearby. “Your turn.” she handed him a similar rock. Tempest hesitated, but then repeated her actions with a different window and then smiled. They continued similar activities and Tempest did not notice how bad Ulrika was being, blinded by his infatuation. “You know, I haven’t felt this way before with anyone.” admitted Tempest as the two were walking the streets. “Oh you don’t say…” mumbled Ulrika. She didn’t really care and would sometimes make Tempest stop to vandalize or graffiti something. “Yep…” Tempest said warmly and then got a little closer to Ulrika. She gave him an odd look and stopped him when it seemed like he was trying to go in for a kiss. “What do you think you’re doing?” the blonde asked him. Tempest laughed sheepishly and Ulrika let a small grin pass her lips, “Why don’t we go to that abandoned warehouse real quick?” she suggested. “Really? Okay, yeah!” he quickly went along with the idea. Ulrika let out a small chuckle at Tempest’s ignorance and they walked on. OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO The warehouse wasn’t too far from where they had been walking around, so they got there fairly quickly. “Right, we’re here!” Tempest said and repeated the same motion that he just did and Ulrika pushed him off him. “What are you, nuts? I’m not gonna kiss you!” she said quite bluntly. “Wha… what do you mean?” Tempest was quite confused and then Ulrika started laughing a horrible laugh. She quickly lifted her arm and a blue flame appeared from her index and middle fingers. Tempest only just got out of the way from the attack. “I’m so good!” taunted Ulrika. She had dropped the tiny bit of accent that she was faking and surrounded herself in blue flames, “I’m so good!” she repeated, although her form changed into the witch named Aruella. “Aruella!” Tempest gasped. He rushed to his feet and reached for his necklace only to remember that he gave it to ‘Ulrika’ to look at, “Oh, you really are a manipulative woman, you are.” “Thank you, but you did truly just make it too easy,” admitted Aruella with a shrug, “Especially with that Shade comment… now we don’t have to worry about wiping you all out.” “Well what happens now then?” wondered the wizard, already preparing a spell to stop her. Aruella paused before speaking again. “Now? Now I have everything I want to know. And now, you will die.” she shot a blast of lightning at Tempest, who lifted a rock spire to block the attack. The impact of the two attacks made Tempest fly back and onto the ground. He let out a heaving sigh as he leaned up, but didn’t fully get up. Suddenly, Tempest felt his rage getting bigger and bigger. He didn’t usually get so angry, but obviously his temper was not something to mess with. Suddenly, the wizard leapt to his feet and created a spell so quick that Aruella barely had time to react. “Take this!” Tempest yelled and many different attacks flew at her. Flames, water, shadow spheres, and such. Aruella lifted an arm to block the attacks by using fire. When it all cleared, Tempest darted to Aruella and was grabbing her other hand to try and get his necklace back. “Get off me, filthy peasant!” she barked at him. Tempest created another rock spire spell and she was hit back. He grabbed his necklace, unaware that he actually set off the alarm on it, and shoved it into his pocket. Aruella twisted around and shot another blast of lightning at him. Tempest used the spell ‘Shine’ that made a light sphere that protected him from the attack. Tempest then went onto the offensive and used Water Laser, but three times to create three lasers that surrounded him, to ensure that Aruella would be hit. She sent blue pyres out from her two fingers to create steam from the combination of the two elements. Tempest was worried that she would be able to see, so he used Quake to shake the entire warehouse. “Ah!” called out Aruella, giving away her location. Tempest set his hand on the book and then aimed his palm at where the scream originated. Five sonic wind blades circled him and then flew in her direction. A few got her, but by the time that the attack had finished, the steam had cleared and they both had a clear shot of each other. Aruella started running at Tempest with her right arm extended and the flames that she was creating getting stronger as she ran. Tempest used Inferno and he was surrounded with flames so that when she got close enough, his fire would hurt her. She noticed this and stopped and controlled the fire to go in his direction. Tempest used the nearby pillar to block the attack. The spell book floating around Tempest glowed as he got the next spell ready. He put both his palms in the line of sight of his enemy and an explosion started heading her way. Aruella gasped and used lightning to blast the explosion, which just made the attack explode at nothing and send the two of them off their feet. The combination of both Aruella’s fire hitting the pillar and the big explosion that had combined with the lightning strike caught the warehouse on fire. Tempest could tell that the others had appeared because there were scattered voices out front and he could hear Garnet’s voice specifically. “Looks like you’ll get to survive for now,” Aruella told Tempest from a wall of fire that separated them, “You’re all going to be in hell for the next attacks, though. We no longer have to hold back to find out about Shade.” “Get out of here!” Tempest yelled at her. Aruella just looked at her with a calm smirk. The fire had raised high enough to where he could not see Aruella, but he heard the smash of a window and knew that she wouldn’t have died in the fire, anyway. “Temp… out of… ere!” they were calling out for him to get out of the warehouse, as it had now been known by the others that the warehouse was on fire. It finally kicked in for Tempest and he rushed out, making sure that his cloak hadn’t caught on fire or anything. “There’s no time to save that warehouse, is there?” asked Bea with a frown. “No, but there wasn’t anything in there.” Tempest calmed her fears and she smiled at him, telling him that she was glad that he was okay. Tempest was happy that she felt this way, but these actually were the words he wanted to hear from another. “What happened, anyway?” Florence wondered. She still had her ‘battle face’ on, and she was holding her weapons in case there was still some problem. “That Ulrika girl was actually Aruella,” he sighed and looked very humiliated and defeated, “And now she knows about Shade. I told her.” “Don’t worry about it, Tempest; they were bound to find out sooner or later.” Jim tried to calm him down. Tempest put his hand in his pocket and remembered his necklace, quickly putting it back on. “So then if Ulrika was Aruella…” suddenly, Jake felt his very sick and realized that Rose was in the hands of the bad guys. He also realized that her not visiting his dreams was a sign that she wasn’t okay. “And on top of that…” Garnet suddenly piped up, “They don’t need us anymore. Didn’t Dante say that she wanted to kill us after finding out where Shade was?” “Yeah… Aruella said something similar like that…” Tempest said with a sigh. Although, Garnet wasn’t really watching Tempest as either of them were talking. Tempest noticed this and looked down as the sun started setting. OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO This might have just seemed like a bit of a random way to get in another battle, but it’s gonna actually be a bit more important in chapter… five I think. So enjoy. And looking back, the size of this chapter seems right, but now chapters 1 and 2 seem too short BUT TOO LATE NOW. XD
|
|
|
Scars
Dec 19, 2010 3:16:18 GMT -5
Post by YFWE on Dec 19, 2010 3:16:18 GMT -5
That was pretty cool. A bit surprising that Aruella would go through all that trouble for something she probably could have accomplished while not undercover, but it seems like the plot is better for it. Once again FRUSTRATING to see the battle end so quickly but.. in a good way. I think.
Sounds like everything's really going to ramp up now! Hopefully we'll finally get an indication as to Shade's location. I think that'd be pretty ballin'. But I also kinda like the pace this is going. Like, you could have already intro'd Shade by now but haven't. I think that's pretty commendable that you're actually showing some restraint.
Can't wait to see where this goes next, especially with the probability of increased attacks and the danger Rose is likely in! Should make for a good story.
|
|
|
Scars
May 23, 2012 3:52:52 GMT -5
Post by Chaos on May 23, 2012 3:52:52 GMT -5
Yes, it’s very difficult to not just throw some hints of where Shade is. Well, since I’m not gonna bug Raffi to review, HERE WE GO. XD I’ve already said though that this chapter’s gonna be kinda crappy and boring and fillery, but w/e. Annndd I’ll probably end up spending most of my time not listening to the chapter song. Hee hee. Chapter 4: Saga A couple of days had passed and there was another festival coming to New York. Bea always got so excited about them, and she brought all of her friends to them and had so much fun. The only person she hadn’t been able to go with yet was Jim, even though she asked her every time. She would get him this time, though. “Jim,” Bea finally spoke up to the dwarf one day, “we are going to go to a festival tomorrow.” The two were together in Bea’s apartment. Like herself, there were a lot of colors all around the room and other assorted things, like peace signs and the sort. It wasn’t enough to give you a “Whoa, this girl is such a tree hugger” vibe, though. They were sitting in Bea’s room, which had a bubble theme. The wallpaper and flooring were filled with regular bubbles, but other furniture in her room had different colored bubbles and bubbles of different sizes. Bea wasn’t sure why she liked bubbles so much, but simply pegged it as the fact that they’re both colorful and start with the letter “B.” “Bea, you know that’s quite risky,” Jim told her with a frown. “We all need to keep a firm watch over New York. You never know when they’re just going to attack, and we all need to be prepared.” “The others will be all over the city! Plus we have this crystal alarm system; we’ll be fine,” she insisted. Bea then explained the dilemma of Jim unconsciously avoiding going anywhere with her. “I don’t do that!” he scoffed, waving his hand at her, dismissively. Bea glared daggers at Jim, which caused him to get a bit freaked out (as most men do to the reaction of a woman’s temper). “Okay, okay! We can go to the festival!” “Sweet!” Bea smiled and clasped her hands together. “I’ll spend the rest of the day getting ready for tomorrow, then.” she said her good-byes to Jim, leaving him befuddled at the whole situation. “She has to spend the whole day getting ready?” wondered Jim, scratching the back of his head. He was slightly happy to spend some time relaxing, but he was mostly filled with worry that something could happen. OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO Festivals in New York were always very crazy, but in the best of ways. The big city was crowded more than usual because of the huge amount of people and all the stands. There were many stages for bands to play their music and it was a big hit. People were wearing their most colorful clothing, especially Bea. Bea met up with Jim in front of his apartment wearing, essentially, the same thing that she usually wears, but with a bunch of colors randomly thrown all over her dress. She wore four Mardi Gras beads of different colors: red, green, yellow, and blue. Of course, she still had her crystal necklace on. “Are you ready!?” she asked Jim in a very excited tone. It was a sort of scream-question. Jim walked out of his apartment in his usual attire and with his big bulky hammer. “Yep,” he replied, gruffly. The only thing different about him was that he had a little scruff. “Um,” Bea mumbled, looking at him with a small frown, “aren’t boys meant to shave before a date?” “A date?” Jim wondered, seeming to be taken aback with her comment. “Oh, never mind!” replied Bea in a yell, starting to turn a small shade of pink. “Um, well, do you really need your hammer with you?” Jim nodded quickly. “We always need to be prepared, so I’ve got my weapon with me,” he explained. “Plus, I need to protect you in case anyone tries to harm you. There are a lot of people out.” Bea’s face returned to its previous pink hue and she let out a loud nervous giggle. “Let’s go then, shall we?” she suggested. Bea held her arm out in hopes that Jim would hold his hand (and interlock the fingers, not in the preschool hand-holding manner), but he didn’t get the hint and walked on after locking his door. The two walked together past a few blocks, which were all quiet because everyone was at the main festival areas, until they made it to where tents were visible. This was where the bands would play, but there were also food stalls and such nearby. “I don’t feel properly dressed for this…” Jim told Bea, looking around at the people as they passed by quickly. “They’re dressed a lot like you.” It was true. Most of the people were wearing “hippie” clothing with a lot of low-hanging jewelry and bright colors. Bea fit right in with the crowd and Jim looked like he was on his way to work at some factory. This made Bea giggle. “I noticed this,” she told Jim. “For the most part, people consider this festival attire. But you’re really allowed to wear whatever you like, do you’re fine!” Jim smiled and felt more comfortable. “Thanks for letting me know,” he said. “I was starting to feel really awkward.” “Don’t feel that way!” Bea smiled and grabbed his wrist. “Now, come on! There’s this food stall that’s always at this corner and they have the best food. They have everything.” Bea led Jim to the food stall that she made sound very exciting. The food didn’t look much different from the food in the other stalls, but Jim said that it was much better than regular stall food. “Why don’t we watch this band for a little?” Jim suggested, pointing to a nearby stage. “A lot of people seem to be very entertained by them.” “Why not?” replied Bea as the two kept eating. The band finished their song and the crowd started cheering. “Thank you for having us!” the lead singer said, smiling. However, his face quickly turned to shock when he saw a blast of energy explode in an empty area next to the stage. The blast made some stuff from the stage blow back, but the damage didn’t seem too bad. “What caused that!?” Jim yelled, immediately touching his crystal necklace to call on the rest of the crew. Bea did the same. The two turned around to see the cause of the blast and saw Zant floating and looking down. As most scenes like this turn out, people were already screaming and running away. “This is Zant…” Bea said, quietly. “I remember Florence telling us about him. He really caused a lot of trouble for Shade… but he apparently killed him. I wonder if he’s as powerful as he was when they fought him.” she coyly looked at Jim, who raised an eyebrow and looked back. “Wanna find out?” he wondered. Bea stuck her tongue out slightly and chuckled. Jim grabbed his hammer with both hands and Bea jumped on to the head of the hammer. Jim swung powerfully towards Zant and Bea used her air power to fly at the enemy with even more speed. She caught Zant off-guard and punched him. He swerved a little in the air as Bea landed on the road with elegance. “Who might you two be?” Zant wondered, in a tone that didn’t seem to be worried that Bea and Jim were trying to stop him. “We’re affiliates of Shade!” Bea replied, loudly. “That should be enough to get you shaking!” Zant looked at her without moving or saying anything. He then looked up to the sky above a tall building. “I’m not scared,” said Zant. There was a loud noise coming from the building that Zant was looking at. “What’s going on?” Jim wondered, running over to Bea and turning to the top of the building. A hole pixilated at the top and suddenly a huge number of Twili monsters started falling out of the portal. As they started appearing, the monsters quickly made work of the city and started doing damage. “We… were not expecting this,” Bea said. OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO “Bea!” Jake yelled as he flew with Florence, Tempest, and Garnet into the city. Bea was at the top of a building blasting as many Twili monsters with wind blasts as she could. Tempest jumped down to the top of the building and conjured a spell with his book. “Where’s Jim!?” the wizard asked before yelling a spell that made a burst of bright light appear from the book. It blinded the Twili monsters nearby and made them all fall. “Jim’s fighting Zant down in the streets!” Bea replied, turning to the other three when they landed on the roof. “I’m trying to keep these Twili monsters from doing too much damage to the city.” after she said this, she twisted around and swung her arm to create wind to knock a monster off of a balcony. “We need to divide up,” Florence decided. “Bea, you join me to help Jim fight Zant. Jake, Tempest, and Garnet, you three need to focus on trying to repel the Twili monsters. It seems like the portal making them appear is gone, so you just need to contain them from doing more damage.” “Let’s go!” Jake said, grabbing Florence and flying towards where Bea was led him to go to find Zant and Jim. Bea leaned down and then jumped to follow the two. Garnet made a rock move her to a different part of the city and Tempest did the same with a levitation spell. A dark sphere blast hit Jim’s hammer and disintegrated on impact. Jim retaliated with a big swing of his hammer on Zant’s head, but the helmet seemed strong enough to not do damage. Jake flew by and dropped Florence onto him. She landed on him with a kick and pushed off him. After a flip, she landed on her feet. “You again…” Zant grumbled, referring to Florence. He started floating towards her, but a gust from the side slammed him into a nearby building. “Haha!” Bea laughed, in a taunting manner. She ran over next to Florence and Jim. Zant made the building explode as he broke free. Some of the rubble went their direction, but Jim swung his hammer to knock it all away. “So, Florence, you and some new friends against the new me,” Zant stated what the battle was. The three heroes were simply glaring him down. Zant laughed softly and landed on his feet, pulling out his two swords. “Here we go!” Florence yelled, pulling out her bow and turning it into a staff (a mechanism made the string move so that the bow was fully straight like a staff). OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO “Ah!” Garnet yelled, being thrown to the ground by a Twili monster after they surrounded her. She quickly got to her feet and slammed her left foot into the ground, making a slab raise up below the monsters to send them flying in the air. “You alright, Garnet!?” Tempest called out from a few yards away, using a mix of water laser and fireball spells on monsters. “I’m fine!” she replied. She pulled her summoning racquet out and, seeing that no monsters were about to attack her, prepared a summon. “Leviathan!” Garnet called out the name of her summon. Tempest knew to move and used a levitation spell to get to the top of a roof, taking Garnet with her. “How are you guys doing?” Jake asked, flying onto the same roof as the others. Garnet was focusing on the sea monster being summoned and creating a huge wave to wash away many monsters, making sure that people weren’t being washed away with the wave. “Alright, I think,” said Tempest, scratching the back of his head. “There’s so many of them. They’re tearing up the city.” “I’ve noticed that as well,” Garnet added to the conversation once her summon was complete. “The monsters must have some sort of motive.” “We’ll have to figure it out from Zant then,” Jake decided. “I’m sure that Florence, Bea, and Jim are doing fine, but six against one will be even tougher for Zant.” “Let’s do it,” Garnet nodded and punched the air in the direction of the ground to make the ground below her break apart into a piece for her to control and float on. She flew in the direction of where Jake dropped Florence off. Jake and Tempest were quickly following behind. OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO Zant had spent most of his fight using pixilation or using his swords to avoid all attacks and not being offensive. “Stop doing that!” Florence screamed, swinging her staff. Again, she missed because of Zant’s evasiveness. Jim and Bea tried to sneak an attack by Jim being a distraction and Bea using air as an attack. “Nice try,” Zant chuckled, vanishing as Bea blew a breeze. It made Jim the one being blown back. “Jim!” gasped Bea. “I’m sorry!” she rushed to help him up. “Hey, Zant!” Jake yelled, landing with the other two he was flying with. He even turned back into his human form. “Why don’t you just tell us your motive for being so destructive? You clearly have a reason.” “I do have a reason,” replied Zant, putting his swords away. “I’m tearing apart the city to find Shade. It would make sense for him to still be here hiding, even with you all lying.” “He’s not here!” barked Florence, quickly. She was clenching her fists and glaring at Zant. He looked at her for a moment. “I guess I touched a nerve,” he noted. “I think that my investigation is pretty conclusive in agreement that he isn’t here.” “So we can defeat you here now, then?” Jim replied, sockily. Zant shook his head slowly. “No, I’m going to leave,” Zant explained. “We will be back, though. We’ll attack New York again, just to destroy it. May as well leave it for a day or so if you want to tie up your loose ends or whatever you humans need to do.” “I don’t think so!” yelled Bea, pushing her hand out to send a whip of wind to Zant, but he pixilated away. There were more pixels appearing around the city to show that the Twili monsters were vanishing too. Jake suddenly felt a surge of anger and pounded his fist into the ground. “Argh!” he screamed. “I’m so frustrated! This is the fourth time that they’ve attacked our territory and this is the fourth time that we’ve not been able to stop them! Or even put a dent in them any way!” Garnet frowned and shook her head, holding her forehead. “Jake’s right…” the princess sighed. “We aren’t even any closer to finding where they’re hiding to defeat them and find Rose. I don’t know if this is their plan or not, but I’m feeling really defeated right now…” “Why does this keep happening, then?” wondered Jim. He had his hammer set down and he was leaning casually on it. The group was silent for a moment. “Maybe it’s because Shade isn’t with us,” Tempest suggested. “No,” Florence hastily replied. “That’s not it.” she insisted this, but didn’t give any evidence and immediately started walking away. There was another short moment of silence until Jake brought up his own suggestion. “Maybe it isn’t the fact that Shade’s gone, exactly…” he started, watching Florence. “I think it’s just the fact that the whole group is disbanded.” the others turned to Florence as she walked away until she was out of sight. OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO I mean, a year and a half late, am I right!? Hahaha. Well… yes. This chapter was similar to the last, and the next one will be A LITTLE BIT, but I’m gonna make it be less “typical.” You’ll see.
|
|
|
Scars
May 24, 2012 13:44:19 GMT -5
Post by YFWE on May 24, 2012 13:44:19 GMT -5
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO READ THIS WHEN I GET HOME TONIGHT
|
|
|
Scars
May 26, 2012 2:19:44 GMT -5
Post by ADJLFanatic on May 26, 2012 2:19:44 GMT -5
Bwahahaha, I can only imagine how colorful and decked out Bea must be for a festival to take so long to get ready.. XD SHE'S SO CUTE, especially when it comes to that Jim. Teehee! But gaaah, I just knew something fishy was going to smell up that festival, though! IIIII KNEEEEWWW ITTT! Just not.. you know, so soon. >__>
Thankfully, however, the action's back. There's nothing I've nostalgia'd so much harder about than the action scenes playing in my head. (I mean, other than the romance and fluff and stuff, but I like how it draws itself out in a way.. XD) BUT ANYWAY, THE TWILI, AND ZANT. I had major flashbacks from the previous fics. ;______; BUT AH, HE AND FLORENCE MEET AGAIN. EVEN MORE NOSTALGIA.
Way to end on such an ominous note, though. IT'S GOT ME THINKING ALL OVER AGAIN LIKE WHEN WE USED TO WRITE FAN FICS AND ALL THAT. I'm crying, Ewan, I'm.. crying.. XD
By the way, I formed Team Bring Back Shade. Population one.. or more.. depends. I think you might want to get to that, though, MISTER.
Anyway, do update soon. I'M SO EXCITED BECAUSE I GET TO READ AN ADJL FIC AGAIN. <3
|
|
|
Scars
May 27, 2012 22:34:55 GMT -5
Post by Chaos on May 27, 2012 22:34:55 GMT -5
Glad that I brought back some joy! And you know I’m just now noticing that the recent chapters (including this one) really reminds me of Legend of Korra! Because it’s like the build up at the beginning and then the big action at the end. Anyway. YAY quick update! Chapter 5: Feelings Gone “Garnet, wait!” Tempest called out as Garnet started sobbing and running away from the balcony where the two had been chatting away. “No, Tempest!” she cried back. Tempest started following her for a moment and reached out for her, but then stopped and turned back around to get back onto the balcony. He looked on and beyond into the dark and then up to the bright, shining moon. “I never thought,” sighed Tempest, turning around away from outside, “I never dreamed that things could get the better of me.” he sighed again and walked forward a little more. Suddenly, a shadow appeared from behind Tempest with cynical laughter. OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO “So how are you today?” Garnet asked as she made her way to the roof of a building where Tempest was looking at the view of the damage from the day before. “I’m alright,” he replied as Garnet came over and rested her arms on the railing of the roof. “I’m just doing some thinking.” “Thinking about Ulrika?” wondered Garnet, raising her eyebrow as she asked. “Or… Aruella I guess.” “Sorta,” Tempest replied, vaguely. Garnet decided not to probe him further with questions, so she just turned back to the view that Tempest was already looking at. Her jet black hair was flowing slowly with the breeze. “I wonder who will be next to come and attack,” pondered Garnet, deciding to spark some conversation and get Tempest’s mind off of what seemed to be troubling him. “I think the only ones left are Maelstrom, who I remember from you recalling fighting him, and some Luvia Bloodmire or something?” Tempest said. “Sounds about right,” Garnet nodded and turned to him with a half-smile. “We’ll get it sorted eventually. No need to be preoccupied about it.” Tempest was silent and didn’t move. Garnet looked at him curiously and then sighed. She turned back to the view from the roof. “That’s not really what I’ve been most worried about,” replied Tempest. “Wanna go out on a date?” Garnet looked very shocked and turned around to look at Tempest very quickly. “Um, huh?” she wondered, her voice sounding shocked as well. “Uh…” “Right now!” Tempest added on, flashing a big smile. Garnet was quiet for a moment, looking all around the area until she looked back at the wizard. “Sure,” said Garnet, smiling. “Let’s get pizza!” “Pizza?” “Sure!” Garnet replied, grabbing Tempest’s wrist and pulling her closer to him as they headed to the stairs. “I’ve been in the mood for pizza. Not really sure why.” “If it’s what you want, then okay!” Tempest nodded. “Let’s go to this new pizza place that I went to. It was really nice.” “As long as the cheese pizza is nice then I’ll be satisfied…” Garnet admitted. OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO The pizza place that Tempest suggested wasn’t far from the random building that they were on, so they decided to enjoy the nice weather and walk there. “So a date means… you’re paying?” Garnet asked as they approached the counter. Tempest laughed, softly. “You’ve not been on a date before?” Tempest asked back at the princess, answering her question by pulling out sufficient money to pay for the both of them. “Well… no,” replied Garnet, slowly. Tempest chuckled again and smiled. “Could I get one slice of cheese and one of pepperoni?” he ordered. “Only one slice each?” Garnet wondered. “They’re big slices,” Tempest replied and paid for their order. “Besides, aren’t women meant to try not to eat a lot while on a date?” Garnet scoffed at this. “Hey!” she yelled. “That’s a little sexist, isn’t it?” “Hey, I prefer when a girl eats as much as she wants!” Tempest insisted, raising his arms up. Garnet glared at him for a moment and crossed her arms. “You’re number 29,” the cashier said and reached out to hand Tempest the little sign that had the number 29 on it. “Thank you!” said Garnet, pleasantly to the cashier. She took the little sign and walked away. Tempest turned to the casher and shrugged while laughing sheepishly. “Good seat choice,” he told Garnet from the two-person area outside in the sun. Garnet smiled and thanked him. Tempest pulled up her chair for her. “Thank you!” Garnet thanked him again. “Guess you have the capability to be a gentleman on dates… I suppose.” she and Tempest took their seats and Garnet set down the small sign. “You probably didn’t have pizza where you used to live, right?” Tempest assumed. Garnet shook her head and had a sip of water. “You’d be surprised actually,” she replied. “We’re very civilized even though we may not seem it and we still have a princess and royalty. Our pizza’s pretty good, too!” “I’ll have to go there sometime,” Tempest nodded. Garnet agreed and then their pizza arrived. “Oh, quicker than usual!” he noted. “Good, though, I’m starving!” Garnet admitted. She grabbed some napkins and drenched her pizza in parmesan before finishing her meal very quickly. “You weren’t kidding!” gasped Tempest after being only halfway through with his slice. He kept eating and Garnet giggled at how quick she was. “Well, I did say that I was hungry,” she replied. “Anyway, why don’t we go back to someone’s place to chat?” “We can go back to my place,” Tempest suggested, finishing his slice and taking a big gulp of water. “I just cleaned up actually! It’s perfect.” “Fine, let’s go now!” Garnet said. Tempest nodded and the two stood up. Tempest always had a teleport spell set to his house so that he could teleport there whenever he wanted to. He used this spell and they ended up inside Tempest’s apartment. OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO “Ooh, your apartment’s nice!” Garnet said, exploring around. Tempest thanked her. “Where do you live?” he wondered. Garnet replied that she was staying at a hotel. “A hotel!? Why don’t you get an apartment?” the princess shrugged. “I’d have to furnish it…” said Garnet. “I can’t be bothered. I can afford it anyway. It’s a nice hotel. Free food, for the most part. Except room service. At least it keeps me from eating myself into being the size of a boulder!” the two chuckled. “You want to go to the balcony?” Tempest asked. Garnet nodded. “I have a balcony at my hotel room, too,” she said. The two went out and Garnet gasped at the view. “Wow, but my room is only at the third floor! How high are we?” “The ninth floor,” Tempest replied with a proud smirk. Garnet was really astonished by the nice view. The location of the apartment was where taller buildings were on the other side of the building, so they weren’t in the way of the view. “Good for you on picking such a prime location!” Garnet complimented the wizard, who laughed and leaned on the railing. “Well, it was just luck on my part, honestly,” Tempest replied, modestly. Garnet nodded and leaned on the railing as well. “So how’ve you been since the Aruella event?” Garnet decided to ask out of the blue. She moved a little bit closer towards Tempest. “Hmm…” he mumbled, thinking on how to respond. “I’m okay. I never really moped about it; it was just something that kinda stayed on my mind. I’m mostly just worried about Rose.” “I think she’ll be okay,” Garnet assured Tempest with a nod. Tempest agreed and nodded back, this time being the one to move closer to her. Garnet noticed this and flashed a coy smile and held her cheeks. “How have you been?” Tempest asked. Garnet looked away from Tempest and down into the road. “Well, I felt better once we knew for sure that the girl was Aurella and left, that’s for sure,” she said, looking back up at Tempest. “Really?” Tempest wondered, smiling and raising an eyebrow. “Why’s that?” Garnet was silent for a moment and looked towards the buildings ahead. “I just knew that she was no good,” she finally replied and looked up to the sky. “The stars look nice tonight.” Garnet scooted a little closer to Tempest and her face flushed a light shade of pink. “Yep… they do,” Tempest said, moving a little closer as well. “Even with all the lights of the city, you can still see a pretty good amount…” Garnet continued. “Beautiful.” “Yep,” Tempest replied to the comment about what was beautiful, but he was looking at Garnet. She looked up at him and leaned towards him. Tempest leaned closer to her in response. They both closed their eyes and moved in for a kiss, but Tempest frowned and turned his head away with a sigh. Garnet opened her eyes and frowned as well. “I don’t understand…” she said, her voice sounding weak. Tempest still had his eyes closed and had his fists clenched. “Well say something why don’t you!?” Garnet finally yelled, surprising Tempest to make him open his eyes. She had the capability to yell, but only in battle. “I… I don’t know,” Tempest held his head. “I’m just confused…” “We don’t have time for you to be confused!” Garnet replied. “We have other stuff to worry about if you’re going to be like this! Just forget it, then, Tempest! Just forget it!” “Garnet, wait!” Tempest called out as Garnet started sobbing and running away from the balcony where the two had been chatting away. “No, Tempest!” she cried back. Tempest started following her for a moment and reached out for her, but then stopped and turned back around to get back onto the balcony. He looked on and beyond into the dark and then up to the bright, shining moon. Suddenly, a shadow appeared from behind Tempest with cynical laughter. He gasped and turned around to see Maelstrom behind him. Tempest tried to prepare his spell book to do a spell, but Maelstrom swung his arm at the wizard and the effect of his shadow attack made quick work of him. “Hmm…” Maelstrom looked around the room to make sure that no other heroes were there. He chuckled menacingly at his victory against Tempest and floated away. However, out in the hall, Garnet was already running away from the room with her hand clutched to her necklace, calling out to the other heroes. OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO Maelstrom floated into the middle of New York and made dark clouds circle the city. He was creating a vortex of darkness around New York, which seemed to make the city shake. A large rock hit him from behind and caused him to make the vortex stay at its current, weaker strength. “Hmm?” he wondered, turning around to see Garnet, Florence, Jim, Bea, and Jake. “Ah, the heroes… I’ll fight you if you want. Once I’ve finished with you then I’ll make this vortex strong enough to vanquish the city in one swift move.” “Go ahead and try!” Jake taunted at him. “Can’t you summon your strongest summon and just obliterate him?” Garnet shook her head. “His dark energy is interfering with my summoning power,” she explained. “I can’t summon anything right now. Good thing I’ve been working on my earth power.” “That’s true,” Bea said, noting a shadow ball being shot their way and responding with a small tornado to make the sphere vanish. They watched as Maelstrom started to create clones of himself. “If he’s gonna do this, we should split up!” Florence suggested, shooting an arrow at one of the newly made clones. The others used their own means of transportation to move to other areas. Once there were five clones, including himself, they all flew around and chased the heroes. “I get the original, huh?” Jake noticed, being fairly close to where Maelstrom was previously. Still in his dragon form and flying, he spun around while shooting flames from his hands and feet to attack Maelstrom. He used his big, dark energy cape to stop the flames from being damaging. “Jake, do you think you can beat me alone?” Maelstrom wondered, putting his hands together and shooting a ray of darkness at the dragon. “You had to have your friends help you the other times.” Jake was quick and flew away from the ray and slammed Maelstrom with his tail. “Hey, you cloned yourself and that made you weaker,” replied Jake with a grin. “So, uh, yeah! I think I can take you on.” he did a barrel roll and punched Maelstrom down. Bea was making easy work of the Maelstrom clone that was attacking her. This clone was sending mostly shadow spheres at her and she easily responded with her wind attacks. “You’re easily the easiest villain that we’ve fought!” Bea chuckled, doing a roundhouse kick towards the floating Maelstrom. The kick made a pinwheel-like air gust hit Maelstrom and disintegrated the clone. Garnet was doing well, too. She led one of the clones to a rocky cliff area so that she was at the advantage. “I remember fighting you…” Maelstrom’s clone said to the princess. “You’ll probably remember losing then,” Garnet replied, keeping her face stern as she used her earth power to make a rock shoot her into the air to avoid Maelstrom swinging a blade infused with shadow energy. Garnet did a back flip and landed on her feet. “How can you win when I drain your life from you?” the clone drew closer to Garnet with his blade drawn, but the princess quickly lifted her arms and pushed them in to make two rock spires lift and catch his sword in between the two rocks. “Hiya!” Garnet lifted her arm and flicked her wrist to make another slab of rock appear and slam Maelstrom from the side. Once the clone hit a wall then it disintegrated. “Stupid dark creature.” Garnet pushed her hair out of her face and went back towards the city. “Ouch!” Florence yelled, being flung from the rooftop that she was on to a different and shorter building. She wiped her face and glared at the Maelstrom clone coming her way. She shot an arrow at him, but he avoided it and grabbed her, using a life draining attack. “Ah!” Florence yelled. “That’s enough of that!” Bea said, raising her arm and making a gust hit Maelstrom, which made him drop Florence back onto the rooftop. “Thanks, Bea…” the brunette thanked her as she helped her to her feet. “I have a plan.” Florence whispered something to Bea, who nodded. Bea jumped to another close building and took a big breath before blowing wind at Maelstrom. “Arg…!” Maelstrom lifted his arm to block the wind and was being slowly pushed back. As Bea did this, Florence stuck a bomb onto an arrow and aimed it at Maelstrom. When Bea stopped her attack to take a breath, Florence fired the arrow and it exploded on Maelstrom. This made the clone vanish. “Good work, Florence!” Bea called out to Florence. She gave Bea a thumbs up and a small smile. Jim was struggling a little with the final Maelstrom clone. He was doing fine blocking Maelstrom’s attacks, but all Jim could do was be on the defense. The clone didn’t give him enough time to retaliate and get his hammer ready to attack. They were fighting on the road. “Lower your hammer and let yourself be beaten!” Maelstrom barked at Jim, who glared back at the enemy and kept strong defending Maelstrom’s shadow energy spheres. “Now… why… would I… do that!?” he barked back, pushing Maelstrom back with the hilt of his hammer when he jumped and tried to attack Jim with dark claws. Suddenly, a bit of the road lifted and flipped over on Maelstrom. The clone hadn’t disintegrated yet, so Jim held his hammer back for a moment and swung it straight on to make the clone vanish. “You alright?” Garnet asked the dwarf. Jim nodded. “I’m fine,” he insisted. “Thanks a lot for your help.” “You’re kinda fun to fight actually,” Jake laughed after landing a punch on Maelstrom. A rock was thrown at him and the other four heroes appeared. “Same with your clones,” Garnet taunted. The five heroes all looked at each other like they had a little plan and Maelstrom looked a little nervous. “What are you planning…?” he wondered. Jake sent out a breath of fire at Maelstrom that he blocked off with his arm. The others did their respective attacks that Maelstrom blocked. Jake was able to fly through his own fire and hit Maelstrom to the ground of the rooftop with his tail. “That’s what we were planning,” Florence laughed. Maelstrom groaned as he leaned up. He looked up at the vortex in the sky that he was planning to make stronger. “Fine then…” Maelstrom grunted. “I’ll leave.” there was something slightly showing from his cloak that appeared when he was hit to the rooftop. When Maelstrom turned into a shadow and vanished, the secret thing stayed. “The vortex is going away!” Bea noted, looking to the sky and smiling. “What’s that?” Jim wondered, pointing to the thing that Maelstrom left behind. “Doesn’t look like he meant to leave it here.” Florence walked ahead and picked up what seemed to be a scroll. Everyone surrounded her to see what it was as she opened it. Their eyes widened when they saw what it was. “It’s a map… leading to what seems to be a portal to their lair!” gasped Florence. It wasn’t a super advanced map. It showed North America, Europe, and the frozen northern lands. There was a big, shining spot somewhere in the northern frozen lands that indicated it was a portal to the villains’ lair. “We have to prepare to cast off right away,” Jake said. Everyone nodded and rushed to follow where Jake was flying, except for Garnet who stayed and looked at the city. “Garnet…” Tempest appeared behind her. The princess quickly turned away and held onto the railing on the rooftop. “I’m sorry about the balcony earlier. And… thanks for getting me in bed to get some rest after that attack.” “Yeah…” Garnet said, quietly and loosened her grip on the railing. “You’re welcome.” Tempest walked closer and stood next to her. “What I just want to say is…” Tempest said, pausing to gather his thoughts. “I’m not asking for you to fall in love… for some great romance. Just be with me until the feelings gone.” he took Garnet’s hand. She turned to him and finally smiled. “Let’s go,” Garnet said, taking his hand too. Tempest nodded and the two headed off to join the others. OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO The plot is really starting now! How exciting… the next chapter will be really good. I think at least. I hope I didn’t big it up too much.
|
|