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Post by Chaos on Nov 2, 2009 22:49:40 GMT -5
Yes I'm working on Scars, or trying to that is. XD So that you know I'm not dead and since Scars won't have comedy, here's some funny!
Preface: Florence and Raffi try to live their lives without Shade's guidance and seem to spiral into their own silly little world. Every mini-adventure is a lot of chaos.
I: Florence and Raffi Misbehave in School.
Both were sitting in class one day until Raffi let out a complained noise and leaned back a little, ruler in hand. They have a substitute today and decide to let their imaginations overtake them.
Raffi: *lifts arm* Miss, can we have a window open in here please? It's really hot.
Florence: Yeah, MISS! Can we go outside please? Then we can check and see how many people fit on the swing outside, can't we?
Raffi: Yeah we can... *gives up and then lifts arms again* Miss, are you going to be a real teacher, please?
Florence: Yeah, cause you're just a student, aren't you, Miss?
Raffi: *lifts arm* Miss, what's your name please, Miss?
Florence: ... Miss Wobble!? *cracking up* Did you say Miss Wobble!? Well it sounded like that.
Raffi: Yeah, it sounded like that...
Florence: You're going to have to speak clearer if you want to be a proper teacher, Miss. *opens a huge bag of chips and starts eating some of it*
Raffi: Anyway, Miss, I meant your first name, please. Well you know mine, Miss!
Florence: Yeah! You don't just demand respect, Miss, you earn it.
Raffi: Anyway, Miss, we already know it's a 'V' anyway, because it's on the register and it's on your keyring, isn't it, so is it Veronika or Vira?
Florence: *laughing* Yeah, or Verruca.
Both: *laughing* It's Virginia!
Florence: VIRGINia.
Raffi: VIRGINia, Virgin... oh, Miss, you should let them laugh at you like that. Shut up, everybody, she's good! *turns to teacher and touches heart*
Florence: *lifts desk and does something, Raffi doing the same. As desk goes down, you can see shiny red lipstick* Miss, this is strawberry flavored!
Raffi: Aw... *hand near lips*
Florence: Miss? Is that a spider on your lip, Miss? Oh, no, it's just a big, hairy mole, I thought it was a spider.
Raffi: *whispers something to Florence*
Florence *lifts up arm* Miss! Miss? Are you a lesbian?
Raffi: Yeah, cause we don't know what that means, do we? *lifts up desk and then stands up* Miss, Miss, there is a very serious matter, right? My Jonas Brothers pencil case is gone. That means that, like, there's a burgler in this classroom.
Florence: Oh, I'll check... *lifts desk and then gasps* Oh, Miss, I've had a burglary as well, all my French projects are gone!
Raffi: And mine has!
Florence: Yeah... we have to turn that in next block! ... Miss? Miss?
Raffi: She's going to get the principal, she's going to get the principal.
Florence: If she gets the principal, I'm going to say that she had a nervous breakdown.
Both: *stand up* Good morning, Mr. Rotwood.
Florence: We were just trying to get on with our work.
Raffi: See, my Jonas--
Florence: And our French--
Both: No, I don't think that this is an issue that needs to go to the police. Good bye. *after he leaves*
Raffi: Right, you're in big trouble now! Mr. Rotwood things you're totally out of control, now! *both throw their heads on their desks* I'm not feeling very well...
Florence: She's not feeling very well... and I've started, Miss! So we're going to have to go to the nurse's office, aren't we?
Raffi: I think it's my migrane again, it's always going, uh... *head down*
Florence: Her migrane, Miss, she could faint, Miss!
Raffi: I have fainted...
Florence: She has fainted... *both lie their heads down and moan and groan*
Bell: RING!
Both BELL!!!! *run out*
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Post by ADJLFanatic on Nov 2, 2009 23:22:42 GMT -5
MISS, I'D LIKE TO KNOW WHERE YOU GOT THIS FROM. ;]
I mean, pfft, hah. Sorry if this is a shorter reply than usual, but of course, I want to get to work on JitD fer yous and of course, all I could do is laugh while I read this anyway. OHOHOHOHO, silly bumbum. You featured me and Florence in this wacky tale of pointlessness and randomness. Which was just pretty dang awesome, if you ask me. xD You gave me something to laugh at just as I was about to finish homework.
To finish this up, dear, I hope you get down another update of Scars soon. You've got me excited still. ;D Considering how much I did miss stories both you and I used to write. Of course, mostly you at this point. As I'm starting to lose respect in myself for writing conjumblyness back in the day. D; NONETHELESS, I'm still excited. I'll work on JitD if you work on Scars. Wink wink nudge nudge. LOL.
Oh, and after hearing you say this countless times over the phone yesterday:
THIS IS CHOCOLATE SOUP. O; Kthxbai.
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Post by YFWE on Nov 3, 2009 1:48:31 GMT -5
VIRGINia
I lol'd
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Post by Chaos on Nov 16, 2009 22:29:09 GMT -5
Look, I made another! =D II: America's Next Top Model Florence and Raffi went to Florence's house and sat around in a bored fashion. Raffi: What should we do? Florence: I don't know. *turns on TV* Raffi: America's Next Top Model? Oh, great. We can make fun of it. God, it's easy to make fun of Tyra Banks... Florence: Hey... that gives me an idea! Raffi: TELL ME. Florence: Now, why don't we make fun of this show? And then other shows and things when we're bored? You know, parcs and giggles! Raffi: Oh I love making videos and stuff! Let's do it! Florence: Okay, let's get ready. They went into Florence's basement after getting ready and then set up the camera. Florence: *holding up a sign that says Tyra Banks. She is standing on top of a HUGE stack of legs* This is where the competition gets REALLY tough. I have one beautiful woman before me. *ushering at Raffi* Raffi: *looks around* Florence: Well I have you, before me. And the judges say, "WHOA, that is a pretty woman." And you prove you're a pretty woman by doing that fine ass booty... model walk you do. Go on, do it. Raffi: Okay. And... left foot, right foot *doing awfully* left foot, right foot, turn! And, left foot, right foot--OOPS--left foot, right foot, TURN! =D Florence: GO, GIRLFRIEND! Raffi: Yeah... can I say just one thing, actually? *sobbing* Can I just say, that this is like been my dream, just to get this far, it's all that matters! I've come so far, I've come all the way from DE GHETTO... *normally* You know De Ghetto, it's a small town in Nevada... Florence: Okay, shh shh shh. I know it's your dream... but we have made our decision. Raffi: Can I say one more thing? Florence: Oh GOD. Raffi: No, no! I just wanna say that I really wanna be on the cover of Teen Vouge... whatever that is... and I really want to be photographed by noted photographers that no one's heard of. So if you make me America's Next Top Model, you'll never hear from me again, guaranteed. Florence: Alright, shush now. This is the moment you have been waiting for. I have only one photo in my hands. This photo represents the girl who will NOT be going forwards TOWARDSSS being America's Next Top Model. *dramatic music* Raffi: *looks around suspiciously* Florence: *turns around card with a picture* i2.photobucket.com/albums/y12/chaos44/Scary_Raffi.png(HAHA, sorry Raffi, I just had to) Florence: Raffi... it's you. But it's not you. You are NOT THE ONE. Raffi: Is it cause I'm too thin...? Florence: No, it's not because of that. COME AND GIVE MAMA A BIG HUG! Raffi: *does her bad model walk and hesitates to hug 'Tyra's' huge legs* Florence: *walks up towards Raffi in normal height and taps her back* *laughing* Did you think those were my real legs? Raffi: What...? *looks up to see the legs and 'Tyra's' body cut off* Florence: Ahahahaha, you feel for it, didn't you? Raffi: No, no I didn't. *shaking her head* Florence: Yes, you fell for it, YOU STUPID MODEL IDIOT. *walking off* AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
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Post by ADJLFanatic on Nov 16, 2009 22:36:51 GMT -5
You just enjoy torturing me, do you?
xD
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Post by YFWE on Nov 18, 2009 14:59:20 GMT -5
Tyra Banks is a fine, fine lady.
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Post by Chaos on Sept 25, 2010 16:06:00 GMT -5
Not sure why I decided to make another one. Just wanted to make a funny. XD
III: Frozen Computer
Florence and Raffi were at their laptop working on a script for another one of their funny shows, although it wasn't really popular. They didn't realize that the camera was on at the moment when they had some computer trouble.
Florence: Go on, dadadada. *clicking the mouse*
Raffi: Oh. Oh no.
Florence: No, no, leave it leave it.
Raffi: Where's it gone? ... What's happened? Maybe it's got a bit too hot
Florence: *stutters* Shh.
Raffi: You should blow on it. *leans forward and starts blowing on the computer*
Florence: No, it's not hot, stop, you're spitting on it! I don't know what's wrong until you give me a chance to see what's wrong with it!
Raffi: Oh GOD. Perhaps you should close it and open it. *reaches for laptop*
Florence: No no babababa. That doesn't work. It's just frozen for a second. It's thinking, it's just thinking.
Raffi: Is it the carbareta [carburetor]? Look drag that down.
Florence: Drag what down!?
Raffi: *pointing* THAT, DRAG THAT DOWN.
Florence: I can't drag that down because it's frozen!
Raffi: You should close it an open it. *reaches for laptop again*
Florence: No, let me see if I can shut it down. *presses buttons* No, that isn't working...
Raffi: Florence, I've got a suggestion. I've got a suggestiooon...
Florence: No, I don't--WHY ISN'T IT WORKING, YOU WHY DOESN'T IT WORK!?
Raffi: Don't lose it, don't lose it. What you should do is enter your pin number and the amount you want to take out and press enter. Try it!
Florence: No, you don't know anything about it! We just have to wait for a minute and look at it.
Raffi: Try to close it and open it. *reaches for laptop*
Florence: NO NO that doesn't work. Hang on, we're going to press every key.
Raffi: What are you trying--
Florence: EVERY KEY, I'M PRESSING EVERY KEY! WHY DOESN'T THAT WORK? I'M TRYING TO GET IT BACK, I'm trying to get the script back.
Raffi: You want the words on the screen?
Florence: Yes.
Raffi: Right, I'll put words on the screen. *grabs Sharpie and takes off cap* Come on, we can do this.
Florence: Don't do that, *pulls Raffi back three times* don't be so stupid, do you know how much that costs?
Raffi: *caps and puts down Sharpie* Oh, alright, you should close it and open it. *reaches for laptop*
Florence: No, it's just thinking. It's just confused and thinking about something.
Raffi: Do you want to call the man?
Florence: No, I don't want to call the man, if I press these three buttons it should work--alright call the man, call the man.
Raffi: *takes out phone* Hello is that the man?
Florence: STOP SPINNING!
Raffi: He says what's wrong with it? *puts phone close to Florence*
Florence: The whole thing is frozen--THE SPINNING THING IS STILL SPINNING, why is it spinning and I can't close it down, I can't quit it! *presses three keys again*
Raffi: Ooh! Alright, he's got three suggestions. First of all, he says to close it and open it. *reaches for laptop*
Florence: No, he doesn't say that. That doesn't work, I know that doesn't work.
Raffi: Okay, he says enter your pin number and the amount you want to take out and press enter.
Florence: Who have you called!?
Raffi: Have you read the brochure?
Florence: No, I won't read the brochure, I know how it works...
Raffi: She doesn't want to read the brochure, thank you for calling. *hangs up*
Florence: ... I'm pressing everything, IT SHOULD BLOODY WORK.
Raffi: Close it and open it. *reaches for laptop*
Florence: No, don't close it and open it.
Raffi: Alright, don't get upset.
Florence: But I love it.
Raffi: Right I'm gonna do something now; I don't think you knew this about me: did you know I'm a computer whisperer? Will you trust me? Take your hands off it.
Florence: Alright, go on. *inches away*
Raffi: And can you look away cause it's actually quite embarrassed. I'm looking the other way too, it's a bit emotional and a bit tired. *strokes the top of it* Good girl, good girl, there... there...
Florence: Don't touch it so much...
Raffi: Just gradually moving into its eyesight right now. There we go. *calmly* Hello... hello... hello... WHY DON'T YOU WHY DON'T YOU RRRGGG!? ADADKHDAKHFUJBFF!! *pauses* No, that's not working.
Florence: No, that's not working.
Raffi: Here, let me try this. *slowly closes laptop and viciously slams her hands on it*
Florence: STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT.
Raffi: *opens laptop back up* Oh! There you go.
Florence: Yep, it's back now. Back to the script.
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Post by Chaos on Aug 7, 2012 16:44:05 GMT -5
I'm bored so I'm gonna make another.
IV. Lazy Bitches
The combination of their actual rant to their laptop and the Tyra Banks video that they filmed skyrocketed their YouTube success and fame. They got a fancy little office and a few workers for them because Florence and Raffi decided WHY NOT since they had nothing better to do.
The two were in the same area getting ready for the office later on. Raffi was just walking about casually while Florence was sitting on a couch on the phone and eating some soup of some sort.
Florence: Mooom.
Florence liked the emphasize not saying Mum nowadays.
Florence: Hi, it's me. Look, I know I haven't seen you in three years or something, but I need to know how many tickets you want for my show later okay?
Florence: Well, like, nobody's told me Mooom, okay? Blah blah blah blah!
Raffi walked over to the window and slightly opened the curtains to the cheering fans outside and gave a boring wave before closing the curtain.
Florence: Listen, Moom, don't be surprised, okay, some of the show is quite funny in parts. *starts taking a spoonful of soup*
Raffi: Are you gonna eat all that? *points to soup*
Florence: *groan* 'Scuse me, Mooom. *sets phone down* What did you say?
Raffi: I mean I swear to God, Florence, if you eat the whole of that, you are gonna be compromising something.
Florence: This is chocolate soup. If I don't eat this, right, you're compromising my artistic integrity, okay?
Raffi: Oh, God.
After this, the two went into their production office to do some work for a TV special. They went into their section and greeted their attendant named Iris.
Iris: Hi guys, you okay?
Florence: Yep, just... don't wanna be HERE you know. *inches closer to Iris and lays head on her desk facing he* Iris... DON'T MAKE ME GO IN THAT ROOM. Did you get my chocolate limes?
Iris: Yeah, they're in the office.
Florence: The traditional ones? I don't like the sherbet ones.
Iris: They're really nice.
Florence: *smiles and gets up lazily and goes towards her office*
Raffi: I cahsinrinefr. *falls over lazily*
Iris: You okay?
Florence: Oh, bones have fallen out again. Come on, Raffi. *whistles*
Raffi: *crawls over on knees as if the bones had fallen out of her arms*
Raffi made it inside the office that had a sliding glass door that covered them from the rest of the big office. The two sat down at their desk in the middle facing each other with a computer.
Raffi: Alright, let's do something today.
Florence: Ooh! *fiddles with bag of chocolate limes* This is exciting!
Raffi: Your chocky limeys?
Florence: Yeah! I've been conducting an experiment to find these for the last YEAR. I've tried so many different types, I think this could be the one. I want the one that evokes my childhood. *eats one of the hard candies*
Raffi: *watching boredly*
Florence: *after a while of eating* Oh, this isn't the one.
Raffi: No... At what point do you realize this? What's this? *looks at bag* Chocolate-flavored... Lime-flavored.
Florence: Yeah, but that's not it. I can't believe that. It's such a shame because it was so close.
Iris: *comes in with a tray* Just brought some tea, coffee, and cookies.
Florence: These aren't the one, Iris.
Raffi: Florence, shh shh shh shh, cause we can go the Internet. Just do that quickly now...
Florence: That's making me feel a bit sick. *puts hard candy back in wrapper* And no, you don't get sweets on the Internet.
Raffi: Yes, you do get sweets, you go ww... sweetshop or something like that.
Florence: Do you?
Raffi: Oh, I don't understand. I'm trying to get onto the Internet.
Iris: Click out of that. Shall I do it? *walks over*
Raffi: No no no, please let me do it. *Iris nearly grabs mouse* PLEA-PLEA-PLEASE LET ME DO IT. Cause if I don't do it then I won't remember how to do it.
Iris: Okay, right click on--
Raffi: On the gateway twice.
Iris: No, you've got to click it twice. *reaches for mouse*
Raffi: *pulls mouse away* I am clicking it twice!
Florence: No, you're not clicking it twice.
Raffi: Shut up, Florence, I know what I'm doing!
Iris: You have to keep the mouse steady.
Florence: Yeah you were banging it.
Raffi: I wasn't banging it! *bangs mouse loudly* That's banging it! I was moving it like that there! I am clicking it there! Oh, it needs a password or something.
Iris: Did you enter the password?
Raffi: No, I don't know the password! Could I get the password please!
Iris: *starts writing password on a sticky note* It's the same as last week... *hands Raffi sticky note*
Raffi: *takes note* Okay... "lazybitches..." Oh now it won't let me on. *presses Enter 10 times* It won't let me on it won't do it.
Florence: You have to keep the mouse on it and click twice.
Raffi: Oh, shut up. PLEASE JUST SHUT UP WHILE I'M DOING IT PLEASE JUST SHUT UP.
Florence: *sighs and stands up to pour coffee* Oh, this is the wrong coffee, Iris. I told you about this. *pumps coffee holder slowly as coffee pours out* OH NO! OH... NO! Oh it's gone everywhere now, I told you about that, Iris!
The two just kept ranting about the coffee and the computer until Raffi asked for a smoothie from Jamba Juice and Iris left.
Florence: Okay, the coffee's all cleaned up now. So... got any ideas?
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