Post by ADJLFanatic on Feb 18, 2008 6:16:31 GMT -5
:/
Aaaggh, I'm still contemplating deeply about my "problem" that I happened to have mentioned near the end on my recent blog. Baaah, I really want to talk to somebody about it right now, but everyone's basically sleeping and my AIM is busted, either way. I didn't think I could even TALK to anybody without being completely mesmerized by this whole situation earlier tonight. Especially cos, in someway, I was trying so hard to hide that insecurity.
Soooo basically, if you're too lazy to open up the page with my entry, then my friends think that my best AND my longest guy friend, Charles, has been acting like he REEAAALLY likes me. Like I said, that's what my friends have been "noticing." Lately, though, he's been asking "who I like" even if I'm not interested in anyone, he's always poking/tickling me, he's always trying to find the most time he can for us to spend time together even when he wouldn't be even the slightest bit interested in what I plan on doing during the day, and basically, well... we've become so close like last year and the beginning of this.
You don't even know; it's like we practically live in the same house as siblings, or something. Especially since the beginning of January when I was new to my middle school on my 8th grade year, we always spent each time we had together as much as possible (excluding the time when I thought he was just some annoying guy for the first two months and that time he went out with two of my best friends then they broke up eventually). We do the craziest things with each other that they barely understand what we do. And the reason why everyone else doesn't is because it comes to show that that's how close of friends we are. Everyone knows that perfectly well.
I even wonder why he would actually like someone at this time anyway. He's been sorta emo on me lately cos recently the girl he said he's liked kinda "turned him down" when he finally owned up the courage to ask her out. She tried to do it the nicest way she POSSIBLY could without hurting his feelings, and he still got upset. :/ And I don't want that to happen to him again if he ever does ask me out, or so my friends actually theorize (is that even a word?).
He's my BEST friend, and I really can't hurt him, especially with words as painful as that. I don't want to sound like I'm rude even if I'm not, you know? I'm mostly afraid with the fact that if I told him that I can't go out with him, we'll eventually split apart in our friendship and we might wind up never even talking again.
T.T Aagghh, I really REALLY don't want that to happen, you know? I understand him, he understands me, we understand each other, and well, I don't want anything great that's happened between us to ever change just because he wants to be more than friends. I really do want to let it out to him, but I don't want to sound like I hate him. I just can't find the right words to say, especially since almost any could possibly hurt him real badly. I'm like that, too, anyway, but I don't know.
I'm not even fully sure if he's actually interested in me cos he's told no one and especially not me. But everyone says it's pretty dang obvious. And even if I do tell him, I'd have to include that I have a boyfriend since that IS my valid excuse, but I've never let him in with my relationship, so he could think I'm lying or I've been keeping secrets from him. And that's the only thing I haven't shared with him, cos he knows almost everything else about me.
It's like one of the those situations where you think of every possible solution that you're trying to decide on, yet each of them will turn out to a bad outcome. Aaaggh, what should I do?! T.T
Aaaggh, I'm still contemplating deeply about my "problem" that I happened to have mentioned near the end on my recent blog. Baaah, I really want to talk to somebody about it right now, but everyone's basically sleeping and my AIM is busted, either way. I didn't think I could even TALK to anybody without being completely mesmerized by this whole situation earlier tonight. Especially cos, in someway, I was trying so hard to hide that insecurity.
Soooo basically, if you're too lazy to open up the page with my entry, then my friends think that my best AND my longest guy friend, Charles, has been acting like he REEAAALLY likes me. Like I said, that's what my friends have been "noticing." Lately, though, he's been asking "who I like" even if I'm not interested in anyone, he's always poking/tickling me, he's always trying to find the most time he can for us to spend time together even when he wouldn't be even the slightest bit interested in what I plan on doing during the day, and basically, well... we've become so close like last year and the beginning of this.
You don't even know; it's like we practically live in the same house as siblings, or something. Especially since the beginning of January when I was new to my middle school on my 8th grade year, we always spent each time we had together as much as possible (excluding the time when I thought he was just some annoying guy for the first two months and that time he went out with two of my best friends then they broke up eventually). We do the craziest things with each other that they barely understand what we do. And the reason why everyone else doesn't is because it comes to show that that's how close of friends we are. Everyone knows that perfectly well.
I even wonder why he would actually like someone at this time anyway. He's been sorta emo on me lately cos recently the girl he said he's liked kinda "turned him down" when he finally owned up the courage to ask her out. She tried to do it the nicest way she POSSIBLY could without hurting his feelings, and he still got upset. :/ And I don't want that to happen to him again if he ever does ask me out, or so my friends actually theorize (is that even a word?).
He's my BEST friend, and I really can't hurt him, especially with words as painful as that. I don't want to sound like I'm rude even if I'm not, you know? I'm mostly afraid with the fact that if I told him that I can't go out with him, we'll eventually split apart in our friendship and we might wind up never even talking again.
T.T Aagghh, I really REALLY don't want that to happen, you know? I understand him, he understands me, we understand each other, and well, I don't want anything great that's happened between us to ever change just because he wants to be more than friends. I really do want to let it out to him, but I don't want to sound like I hate him. I just can't find the right words to say, especially since almost any could possibly hurt him real badly. I'm like that, too, anyway, but I don't know.
I'm not even fully sure if he's actually interested in me cos he's told no one and especially not me. But everyone says it's pretty dang obvious. And even if I do tell him, I'd have to include that I have a boyfriend since that IS my valid excuse, but I've never let him in with my relationship, so he could think I'm lying or I've been keeping secrets from him. And that's the only thing I haven't shared with him, cos he knows almost everything else about me.
It's like one of the those situations where you think of every possible solution that you're trying to decide on, yet each of them will turn out to a bad outcome. Aaaggh, what should I do?! T.T