|
Post by YFWE on May 6, 2007 13:02:41 GMT -5
Can I be real with you, Raffi? I mean, like, really, really, real? (SNL quote. XD)
You are officially, in my opinion, the best writer on this forum.
No one else can seem to combine humor, action, romance, adventure, and suspense all into one and make it work as well as you can. Furthermore, you are one of the few writers on this forum that actually cares about chapter/story length. It is something that makes each chapter so much more worth reading. Your descriptions of the setting, characters, and each happening is amazing; it definitely makes me feel like I am actually there experiencing it. (Even though I kinda am... I mean, my character is.... or something) You're also using words that I didn't understand, let alone even heard of, when I was your age. That's pretty dang impressive.
For that, I deem this Chapter 27 of AUA the best chapter of an ADJL fanfic I have ever read. Period. No joke, I mean exactly what I've said.
Great job!! =]
|
|
|
Post by Chaos on May 6, 2007 19:41:32 GMT -5
So much death, eh? XDD VERY dramatic and actiony and sad and romantic and shocking and adventure and the cliffhanger. You are a great writer. This is probably, by far, the best chapter in the story. It just gets better and better in action and such. Except for the fact that Shade almost died and Flo may be dead. :fup: EITHER WAY, yes I saw Spydie 3, and tis gewd. This made me think of it because S3 had many moods to the movie and this chapter had many moods to it as well like sorrow and being at the edge of my seat and etc. You get the idea. XD And as to not ramble or just go on about random things, I'll try to make this shorter of a review. IT WAS GREAT. That was the general plot of it. Many people were excellent with their teamwork and powers against the Alliance! Very clever use of characters and setting and such. I need to use commas. It was very long, too, like S3! I just liked it, end of discussion. So update soon, because usually you don't have this much of a cliffhanger and I'm gonna die. XDD So just go, cause I wanna see another great chapter. But hopefully not as long. =3
|
|
|
Post by crazy17 on May 7, 2007 10:41:32 GMT -5
0___________________o Wow...just wow. OMG FLORENNNNCCCCEEE! XD So many deaths.
|
|
|
Post by Erinul, Mass Ressurected on May 11, 2007 20:31:17 GMT -5
Wow, that's sad, the way Florence died (I think she's dead...). I mean, won't that make Shade break down and start crying? (no offense!) =/ But yeah, that was a touching cliffhanger. And lots of battle action as well. Kudo's to that. Hope you churn out the next chapter soon.
|
|
|
Post by ADJLFanatic on Jun 3, 2007 19:16:16 GMT -5
A/N:Aha! I knew Raffi was gonna take another century to update AUA. Yeah, at this rate, I'll never get it done by the time I leave for California on the 20th. Yikes. But there's a 50% chance that I can get it done before I leave if I truly put my devotion into it and actually do... do... (don't say anything XD) WORK on it since I've been procrastinating when I had the free time I mean. |: By the way, big huggys and thank yous to Kevin and Ewan for the nicey kudos on AUA chapter 27. Dawww, gosh guys, I'm not that great. AND HAH! Nyahaha. You all thought Florence died. *points and laughs* DX I mean... bah you'll see soon enough. I can't believe I already spoiled it. *bad author* But anyway... you waited long enough for this chapter; go ahead and read. XD By the way, if you find that music actually helps you feel more emotion that's expressed in chapters (in my story or anybody else's) then I suggest listening to the KH2 soundtrack. Cause, for me, you feel something beyond your emotions when you listen to any music while you read. If you do decide to take my suggestion by reading it in this chapter and agree, then I'll love you forever. I'll leave you to find for yourself which music suits which scene best for you. XD You can listen to other music too, even if they have words in it. If you find the right one that you think really helps you think deeply, then you'll know what I mean. --- An Unlikely AdventureShinoRocks127 Chapter 28Alley To The Perils Between (Part One)--- “And that’s why can never mess with anyone like me,” Kari stood with her side facing Shade, who was apparently been left ensnared with no escape. The entire group had been trapped against the wall, unable to have access to, more specifically, their hands and feet. Everybody had given their exchange of worried glances and were attempting on getting their selves into a way to escape. It was strange, too, especially the fact that Shade was seemingly the only one that wasn’t covered with a magical force that couldn’t be broken. Shade glared, seeing one of her blades pointed inches from his face, “It’s called attacking somebody of your kind.” “Somebody who was in your own kind,” She corrected facing the edge down so that he could be a bit ‘intimidated,’ which hadn’t really worked as well as she thought, “She’s no longer a part of the Huntsclan, is she not?” “How can you be so ruthless?!” He bursted out angrily, “Maybe she did betray the clan but what about those other people? Do people like you really have that much of a heart to actually cause those types of things?” Far across the distance were shouts overhead, causing everyone in the group to face the direction to their right. Once they had realized that they couldn’t see, better yet hear anything else after that, Shade was still standing there crossed, awaiting a proper response. Crossing his arms, he stared over, in anticipation of a desired reply, “Well if you don’t want to answer then why don’t we just take care of some business?” “Works for me,” Kari began her combat as soon as she noticed Shade flying up to the air. She made a flip in the air and had knocked him while airborne, causing an upper slash attack to send him back towards the center of the maw. Shade rose to his full height and unleashed a ball of sky blue, which had seemed to look like ice, which had been disengaged so that as soon as he had gotten closer, it dealt enough damage to his nearby opponent. Kari staggered back a few steps and Shade continued on, closing in and attacked her again with the same semi-powerful strike and she had barely been able to dodge the incoming charge. Before she could lose her guard, she leapt towards him and shot a rapid attack in midair. Shade fell to the ground with his back on the same wall he had been entangled in for a short period of time. Once again, he shot up diagonally into the sky where she saw Kari attempting to slash towards him. Shade easily reacted to it with a looped soar that dodged her inward bound. As soon as she had been knocked in the ground, she had regained her balance rapidly and quickly retaliated with a dangerously lacerating counterattack. Stumbling to the ground with a dreadful landing, Shade took a minute to come to his senses and stood up again. He threw his right arm halfway across his side and shot out multiple attacks of icy fragments. Kari, unfortunately, had been able to dodge the attack by unleashing a fiery blaze from her staff, encircling her for a moment until it gradually broke off in an even separation. Shade had caused one of the attacks hurdling towards him to tendril with what seemed to look like a thin whip of water. Across one of the nearby, disjointed fissures came the flame that Shade had caused to ricochet obliquely with him somehow returning to human form. The crystals recoiled the incoming attack, as if it were a mirror effect, and was heading its way towards the frosted crevice. From above, it had been blasted from above the heads of where his friends had still been standing. “Look out!” Emily, being the closest to it, wishing she could brace for impact with her hands far apart from above of her head. Hastily, Shade released his wings and flew over, pausing after being at least a couple of feet away from where they stood, then remaining completely still at where he was and then spun around, making a spiral while midair and sending the incoming strike to the opposite direction. Shade landed on the ground and then his wings disappeared, dashing over to his friends to make sure that they were fine, “Whew, you guys alright? I mean—“ “Shade, behind you!” Kay, trying the best she could to point to the direction behind, cut him off. Speedily, she brought her hands together and the icicle that shacked her arms and legs were broke off. After that, she shot a powerful beam that sent Kari back before she could attack Shade from the back. And right after that, everyone stared at her wide-eyed with complete and total shock, “What? Was it something I said?” Nobody answered that previous question and released their selves from the constriction that prevented them from assisting Shade. “About time your friends stepped in to help you,” Kari aimed at Shade again and shot a beam that sent Shade flying towards a corner of the area far across in a good distance apart from where he had been formerly. “Agh!” Shade dropped his hands to the ground, shutting his eyes tightly and struggled to get him self to rise to his full height. He tried and was only pulled down by his own weight and sat there helplessly. Shade tried to catch his breath, tired from all the respective amount of fighting he had been doing. “Shade!” Leah called out, then turning over at Kari after getting no response from him. She made a leap in the air then returned to her full form halfway from reaching the ground and attacked feet-first. Later after that, she leapt upwards again after seeing her opponent attempting a low kick. Leah made a backwards flick and made an uppercut attack. Kari was sent back a couple of feet and she was brought towards Jake. Not being able to have even the slightest chance to make the first attack, Jake took advantage of that opportunity and skid across the floor with one foot in front of him. Leaping in the air, he looked at the direction below and shot a whirling pattern of fire. Kari picked up her blade and spun it like a baton, causing the fire to slowly fade away. She placed her staff with the edge pointed down then took it with both hands, aiming it at Jake. When a twinkling light was shot at him, Jake whipped it back at her and she was left paralyzed for a brief moment. After Jake took his turn in battling, Kay voluntarily took the next set of attacks and dashed over with all fours and knocked her off, causing her to mutter slightly in pain, as she had still been paralyzed. After that attack, she had another chance and leapt in midair, doing a roll so that she looked like a ball of teal and black. After she had returned to her full form, Kay spurt out flames as she continued speeding. Then, to finish off her combat, was a tail whip that sent her flying towards Rose. Kari eventually came around and she was able to move around again, as if nothing had happened. Rose was almost attacked by her synched blade but she also had one herself, holding the ends with her hands tightly to avoid any damage. Later then, she exerted enough force that Kari was pushed off by her lone staff. She was pressed down to the ground and Rose spun around made a dropped-down low kick as she skid to the floor. Kari pushed herself up and retaliated with an airborne attack that she used by hovering in the air and spinning the staff in a speeding circle. She, in return, knocked Rose to the ground but wasn’t stopped that easily. Rose slashed her away by her lacerating hack. After that, she made another strike by kicking her bluntly on her side then flipped over, landing right in front of her back when she was still dizzy. She stood with her back facing her and swung her arms behind her and she was sent backwards to Mark, who made the finish with an aerial strike as he spread his wings and spun like a speeding tornado, unleashing a powerful blaze from his hands and Kari disappeared. Her blade dropped to the ground and everyone stared through the now-empty maw — the creatures that were still around disappeared alongside her. “You okay, Shade?” Kay asked as everyone walked over to him. She agitatedly held out both hands and she pulled him up with ease. Leah held her hands out and restored a bit of his health in any case of damage. Shade blinked, a bit shocked by what just happened, “Wow… Thanks guys. I was pretty close to giving up right there.” “We’re your friends, Shade. It’s not like we were just going to leave you here to surrender,” said Madisen, “Florence or not, we’ve got your back.” “Florence,” Shade was reminded as soon as he heard that name. Muttering in utter silence, he saw Kari’s staff lying on the ground and he walked over, bending down to pick it up. Instead of pulling himself up right away, he maintained himself in his crouched position, overcome with thoughts of her again. Leah stepped over and lowered down to Shade’s height from his position. “We’ll find her, Shade. I promise,” She said, one hand placed on his shoulder, “Just don’t lose doubt in yourself…” Shade looked over at Leah, “Thanks… again. I hope we really do find her soon.” “I’m sure we will,” She rose to her full height, then helping him up again. As soon as they both made their way over to the rest of the group, something strange was happening to the blade Shade was holding. It seemed to be emitting a glow that brightened with even more intensity and everyone gasped softly after seeing this strange occurrence going on. In due course, the light had become so bright that not one person could withstand the strength of it and the spark befell to the point that no one even noticed that they weren’t even in the maw anymore… --- “Agh! What is up with you?!” Al backed away, who had his back towards the lone corner that wasn’t surrounded by sharp fissures like the rest. He stared at the newly acquired weapon that was held by his opponent. Al gripped it with both hands to prevent himself from being scorn. “Stop moving!” barked Ash, releasing the icy blade that she sent out to him from Al’s grasp and attempted to strike him from his body below his legs. This caused Al to trip, his hands planted on the ground as he endeavored to push himself up. “Wait, Ash!” He exclaimed in fear, his girlfriend making a sharp thrust as she charged towards him, Ash slanted sideways and shoving him down, preventing him from getting up, “It’s me, Al! Don’t you remember me? Your BOYFRIEND?” “I don’t remember any ‘Al’ from anywhere,” She grinned evilly, Al seeing the surprisingly bizarre malevolence in her eyes. He attempted to back away again but was tripped by a random object that he hadn’t seen behind him. “Ugh,” Al groaned, rubbing the side of his head in slight pain. Before he could even move a muscle, Ash leapt towards him, landing with one leg bent towards the ground and the other laid flat. Her right hand rested on her knee and then pulled herself up, releasing yet another blade from her free hand. Ash had now obtained two knife blades and made the usual immorality stare into his eyes. “Say goodbye,” Ash brought her left hand back and then threw it straight like a boomerang towards him and went straight through his body. “Aaaagh!” He shouted, his arms and legs flailing in excruciating pain, later making no further actions and lay still on the ground. Upon doing this consequential action, Ash stood there for a moment, closing her eyes. It was then that a wicked spirit that held the fire of rage in her eyes exited her body and Ash, having the entire battle in her memories flashing before her eyes and she sped towards the motionless Al. “Al!! Nooo!” Her eyes flooded with painful tears and she leaned her head on his right hand, sobbing hysterically and realizing what she had done. ( A/N: Yes, Al is seriously dead. I’m very sorry; he had to die somehow, anyway. XD) “How does it feel…?” A deep voice appeared, a shroud of darkness clouding him from behind, “To kill somebody who was important to you…?” Ash didn’t turn around, hiding her face behind her hands in shame, taking shallow breaths in between her cries, “How did this happen to me — to him? How could I have been so heartless?” “Come on, let it all out. Let every emotion you have towards your actions…” “I can’t believe it. I’m like this animal that’s overcome me and what had caused me to become of it. Al was the most special person to me… but now he’s gone… just like everyone else… Why do all of these things happen to me? Do I really deserve to be feeling these emotions?” “So is it your feelings to blame now, is it?” Ash finally turned around, her puffy, red eyes still streaming with tears flowing down her face, “It feels like it… It’s difficult to experience every emotion that’s so hard to both live through and succumb. But, I can’t help it… why?” “I once felt emotions like you did. It was nerve wrecking to live through each day without me fully understanding why I didn’t have them anymore, but I also realized that living without them helps me feel stronger.” “So, do you think I’d be better off without them?” “What do you think?” Ash considered this for a moment, furiously wiping the tears away from her eyes after coming to her decision, “Yes… yes, I think I’d rather have nothing to feel at all…” “Excellent,” The figure smirked with such pride, “since you feel that it’s right for you, come with me…” --- The group heard their footsteps resonating through the dark alley that crossed like fragments breaking through a seemingly empty metropolis. “What… is this place?” murmured Emily from the collective group, who stuck together in any case of further danger, “Because, frankly, I’m starting to get scared…” “I wouldn’t know exactly,” Shade responded softly, “but I have this strange feeling that we’ll find something — or even somebody — familiar around here.” “Well, if you have a feeling about it, then you’re probably right,” said Kay, her eyes not completely focused on one direction as her’s had darted around along with her curiosity. “How do you know?” “Don’t know, but I think it feels that way for some reason.” Emily crossed her arms and wished she could bunch herself together in her own ball of fright, “This sort of is a strange world anyway; maybe all of these ‘feelings’ are coming to use for a reason.” “Could be,” Shade had his mind centered on something else aside from that point, “or maybe it’s all a huge coincidence?” “Well,” Kay mumbled, “I guess we can figure out soon enough since this place is already eccentric enough for MY own kind…” After that laconic discussion had come to a closing, there had been this odd sensation of having a presence in the area. It had seemed that way from the start, as soon as they all came around and then found their selves wandering a completely, mystifyingly new place. What Shade had brought up previously had also gotten people thinking. What if Florence wasn’t exactly ‘dead’ as most might have predicted from that last battle in the great maw? What if somehow, in some way, she were sent to a completely new place instead? It never seemed like anyone could just die right in the spot and then just vanish instantly in thin air; death never exactly worked that way, at least, it didn’t feel like it. The other thought that teemed their minds eloquently had been that other belief that Emily brought up; a place as unusual as this had made it feel like it anyway. But what really had their minds going was the fact that in every viewpoint that they had been contemplating always included a relation to ‘feelings.’ What exactly was this all leading to? Either way, only time would tell and exploring more of this peculiar world would do, possibly wonders. Through a Fragment Crossing that they passed after the alley came an echoed sound of steel, as if they were walking on a regular, uptown sewer system that you usually pass by on a normal street corner or sidewalk of such. It seemed as though that there had been enough silence for one moment enough in such an ominous place after someone broke the tentative hush. But before there could be any discussion of anything else, the group thought they were daydreaming when they spotted a familiar, temporarily forgotten, important member of the group that had been missing. “Ash!” More than half of the people called out in shock as they watched the lightly sullen, recognizable teenager pull her self up. “Huh…?” Ash seemed slightly more shocked than confused, walking closely as she faced Shade and the rest of the group, “How did you guys get here?” Someone was about to or most likely going to respond with the typical, ‘We were about to ask you the same thing,’ sentence. Only, it didn’t seem like the most opportune moment to include that or make use of that as a reply. “None of us know exactly,” Mark answered on behalf of the distressed half of the group, “Apparently, we were battling Kari and when Shade picked up her staff, we just ended up here, the next thing we knew.” Shade slowly raised the oddly but beautifully crafted staff in his hand to show Ash. The chain that was attached to the end dangled loosely and it seemed as if it had been in perfect condition, “Maybe I’m a bit crazy, but it could have the ability to teleport, possibly; I mean, how else could we have gotten here?” “Looks about right,” Ash walked even closer to examine it even more intimately, then backed away slightly after getting a good look at it. Shade dropped his right arm with the staff still tightly held beneath his grip, “but the thing is, even I don’t know how I got here. Actually, I think sort of do. But all I pretty much remember from earlier was that after this strange thing going on with me and Al — it’s a very… uh… long story, I think I’ll tell you guys later when I have the time — there was this weird mysterious… guy… from the darkness… He appeared and told me something that felt correct and then took me away with him. Then, like, there was this flash of light and then I ended up at this place that looks like a stronghold of some sort. He told me that he wanted to perform this… thing on me… to remove all my problems from me but I got away after realizing the danger behind it — again, long story; I’ll tell you guys later. But anyway, after that, I tried to find anything or anybody familiar, but these two guys in black were trying to chase me, so I ended up here after I lost them from their sight — then I found you guys.” “Guys in black?” Kevin thought for a moment, repeating those three words from Ash’s story, “Sheesh, I mean, what’s up with these guys popping in and out of the place? We’ve seen these people everywhere since the very first time that we’ve begun combat in DISOM.” “You’ve got a point there,” Kay drummed her fingers on her arm thoughtfully, “but why would they be after simple people like us? Or Ash, even?” “Or maybe Florence,” Shade added, considering that he should for some reason, “Call me crazy, but I have another feeling that she’s actually not… you know,” He trailed off a little on that last part. “And here goes the ‘feeling’ thing again,” Emily sighed as if though it had become so relevant that it was practically annoying, “Is there something about the beliefs and these sensitivities that seem to be… evocatively redolent?” “Could be,” Ash said, “I did overhear this one debate about the Alliance inadequate of something validly crucial that involved… regular human emotions.” “Did you get to hear anything else?” Amanda asked, her and the entire group sighing in slight disappointment after seeing her shake her head slowly. “I was chased after I overheard a bit of the discussion that was taken place; I didn’t have a chance to listen in to much else so I just ran for my life…” “Well at least we know a bit of their motives,” Leah said, trying not to make her feel so bad, “that way we can at least be a step ahead in any case of things turning up.” “But in other words, where IS this stronghold anyway?” added Madisen with speculation. “That way,” Ash pointed past an area of the Dark City. From where they stood, ahead of them was a towering skyscraper with a an enormously large shining, silver moon on the top to the left of it, “We just have to pass another district and we’ll be over to the castle in a jiffy.” “Castle?” murmured Shade silently to himself before shrugging in a confused matter as they maintained the steady pace of their footsteps striding rhythmically across the empty, gloomy metropolis. The neighboring buildings seemed to have been squished together and neon signs dimly flashed as if their watts were slowly burning out. --- A piercing purple light caused the girl to squint her eyes tightly then shutting them tensely as if though the glow of the neon had been badly damaging her eyesight. Groaning softly, she pulled herself up and pushed a few strands of hair behind her ears. The girl slowly came around and the blinding light slowly turned to normal as she eyed her new surroundings. To her left, she faced to that direction so that she was now looking forward. And in front of her stood metal bars that caged her, giving her no chance of escaping. Just then, a figure slowly entered her presence… “What? Who are you? Wha-what are you doing do to me?” She grimaced softly, gripping her hands tightly on the mildly cold, iron bars and stared her eyes to the mysterious man. “So, you are Florence, are you now?” came the deep, booming voice as there was sounds of loud footsteps pacing the floor. Surely, she hadn’t expected such a response. Upon her name being called, Florence backed away slowly, “H-How… Why do you ask?” “Never mind, then,” He calmly spoke, “Just remember this, you are what Shade has been longing for more than anything — and pretty soon, the fire that feeds his anger.” With that being said, the man left and Florence stood there for a moment, shocked, not knowing what to do next even if there was no true way to escape. “No, are they all in danger because of me? Because of all of this?” Florence muttered to herself as she situated herself to the ground and had hid her face in her hands. Upon doing this, a weird black portal appeared on the side and from that threshold was where a girl, about her age and height, came out. She was dressed from head to toe with a familiar black cloak. Florence looked over to the teenager, her curious eyes staring over to see if she could make out a face from behind the hood that concealed her face. “This way!” “Who—“ “Believe in yourself,” She cut her off, reaching a hand over to her, “Hurry!” Florence, who still didn’t have the slightest idea, just did what she was told. She took her hand and, without neither of them noticing, a bright glowing light emit and a strong glow came from a section of the castle… --- Shade, being the first to see this from a distance, had looked over and saw the beam that emanated from the castle. This had caused him to block the incoming light with his hand. Slowly, the light faded away and he looked ahead, “Florence…” He paused, a side of his conscience wondering why that name came to his head, “We’re almost there.” Before he continued on after everyone else, a rumbling crash came from the sky above and cackling sounds of lightning struck a deafening reverberate. Even with the snarls of the fear-provoking lightning, there seemed to be no other choice but to continue on… Eventually, the group made it to the ‘brink of despair,’ to where they were all struck with awe by an enormous, swirling fortress. Shade hadn’t really expected this to be what the ‘castle’ that Ash mentioned to have looked like. “Dead end?” wondered Kevin, seeing the fairly good distance apart from where they were standing all the way to the entrance. “There’s got to be a way to get in,” muttered Ash, “How else would I be here?”
|
|
|
Post by ADJLFanatic on Jun 3, 2007 19:16:35 GMT -5
Shade gasped softly after seeing the staff in his hand disappear then re-emerge in front of him. Lightly, he held his hand in front of him and took it calmly. “I think that… thing… is trying to tell you something,” Amanda whispered, startled by that previous occurrence. He nodded a little then stared at it oddly for a minute then thought about something. Shade angled it slightly and pointed the tip towards the center of the entrance. To be careful, he held the handle with both of his hands and everyone stepped back, seeing a light shine around him as his hair brushed lightly across his face until the strange ‘current’ subsided and he left go of his right hand from it then an orb appeared inches away from the thin beam of light. Shade tossed the staff in the air and caught it again successfully with his lone hand, one foot in front of the other as he let the glow continue and a cyan, icy ramp appeared in front of them. The glow faded and everyone stood there in shock. “Wow, what just happened…?” Emily was so amazed that she didn’t even have much of a chance to think. “I think Shade just opened us a path to the bastion of the Alliance’s headquarters,” Ash muttered, throwing out a bit of the apparent, “But not to be a tad obvious, that is.” “Well, let’s not sit around here and wonder anymore,” determinedly spoke Kay, “We can do that later; right now, we’ve got an Alliance to stop!” As soon as that was said, everyone ran up towards the slanted incline and made their way inside. --- The two girls hadn’t lost grip of each other’s hands, working together to speed down a stairway that made strange noises as their feet met the ground. Florence noticed that the girl — who had helped her escape — started shaking a little, as they both stopped, seeing strange black figures appear in front of them. “Jackie, there you are,” said the man that paid a visit in the prison cell area where Florence was just earlier. “Jackie…?” Florence turned around, hearing a familiar name that she repeated. The girl lowered her gaze, using both of her hands to remove the hood above her head. With amazement, Florence eyed Jackie, who only kept her head bowed down in the ground, as if she were ashamed to have been ascertained. Her hair slowly blew into her face and she hadn’t decided to look her straight in the eye yet. “Florence, I’m afraid leaving is not an option,” He said, later holding out his left hand in front of them, “I’ll take you to see Shade.” She got defensive and retreated his hand after seeing a frightened reaction, “You don’t want that?” “I do, more than anything. But not with YOU around,” Florence said, turning away from his deceiving, cold-hearted eyes. “If I had a heart, this would be where I die of laughter,” remarked the still-mysterious man, “But just so you won’t get into anymore trouble,” He snapped his fingers, “we’ll take care of you.” Florence looked before her eyes and she was surrounded by a swarm of black figures… --- “Florence! Where are you?!” called out Shade hesitantly, being the first to make it inside the castle. “Shhh!” Ash yelled silently, “Remember, Shade, this is their stronghold; we don’t want any trouble from anybody around here!” “Right, sorry,” He whispered nervously, maintaining a soft voice. It was then that something in his mind told him to keep going. And without looking back to tell anyone from the group without any further words, he sped off towards the entrance, “Ciao!” “Wait, Shade!” From then on, whenever enemies came along beside him, he tried his best to ward them off, using both his staff and his powers to strike them off with only one hit and kept on going. “Jeez, Shade really is determined to find her,” Ash mumbled as they all continued walking, “I mean, of course but—“ “Be careful, guys!” exclaimed Kevin, pointing in front of him, “I think we got company!” Everyone prepared them selves and saw a figure emerge from the cloud of blackened darkness. “Well, well… you all are the people who are sent to stop us?” The mysterious person was cloaked with the usual black-coated attire. She held out her hand behind her and the darkness faded away then walked slowly towards the group, who had their selves prepared for any incoming combat that would probably be sent out to them. “Let me guess,” Rose stepped up from the glaring, angered faces of her friends in the bunch, “Syrah, right? Second in command in the executive members of the Alliance after Kari…?” “Correct,” Syrah crossed her arms, removing the hood covering her face, “And you were supposed to be first in command before me — but Huntsdad and the Huntsman took you out because of your dishonor in the clan aside from ‘her,’ I’m guessing.” “Smart,” Rose did the same as if she were mocking her. “Well just because they dubbed you as the former leader in this whole plan doesn’t mean I still can’t defeat you!” She held out two blades similar to Kari’s, only with a few different colors on the two identical ones in her hands. Rose held out her right hand and held her lone staff as it appeared into her hand and she held it tightly. “Let’s get this on.” --- Shade sped off as fast as he could through the fortress. In only a matter of minutes, he passed three areas of the castle with ease. He came passed a crooked ascension and knocked off the most creatures from there. Going through twilight’s view was where he stopped to take a break. He had become so exhausted from not taking a break from all those miles he ran that When he stopped and had both of his hands on his knees, he almost fell over. There had been a few steps along the ledge in this section of the castle and he took a seat on the highest one, still trying to catch his breath. Getting a good look around, Shade noticed the enormous size of the entire place. He knew how large it looked from the outside; the interior was even more astounding and outsized than he could ever imagine. Staring out from one of the massive windowpanes aligned along the side of the fortress, he noticed the shining silver moon that he had seen from when he and the rest of the group were still outside in the Dark City. He let his gaze linger into that lone moon then stood up slowly. Shade decided that he had enough rest even if it had only been around two minutes. He stepped back then continued speeding off and entered a hall of empty melodies… His footsteps, as usual, echoed the door-less corridor and Shade’s glance darted from direction to another and then turned around when he heard a familiar voice. “Shade!” He turned around, hearing his name being called and gasped in ecstasy when he saw a recognizable person who he had been waiting to and been wanting to see, “Florence!” Shade saw her standing across a ridge that had been bordered with the same thick material used to keep the castle sturdy. He made his wings appear from his back then dashed to the top, surprised to be even looking at Florence right there in the eye… just four feet apart. Florence, probably being the most overjoyed, extended her arms and embraced him tightly. Shade missed this feeling and willingly returned the hug as if though they hadn’t seen each other for decades. Reunion was always the best feeling to have when you accomplish something… ---
End Chapter Twenty-Eight (Part One)
Yes, this is only part one of the chapter. I really wanted to finish it by this afternoon, but my mom's dragging me to church so I can't complete the rest until later tonight or after school tomorrow. And plus, I, both, don't want to lose all this hard work and leave you guys in any longer suspense. So if it takes another day for the next part of the chapter, then tough cookie.
This is only probably a third or quarter of the chapter, even. I had to redo everything so yeah. Sadly, this was all I did today. Harhar. So tonight, or more likely tomorrow, prepare for a longer part of chapter 28. Mwahahahaha. XD
Anyway, I really gotta go, byeeee. And yes, I know, I killed Al. I'm so evil. *sings Broken* XP
<|3's Raffi
|
|
|
Post by Chaos on Jun 3, 2007 21:21:46 GMT -5
BWAHAHA, that was one of the best chapter, close to 27. Close. But that form of Shade was so much like me. I would just leave for my girlfriend. XDD I like how powerful and how much action he got into as well. But of course, you are just the best fan-fic writer ever, even if you are modest and have low self-esteem. XD Don't worry, be happy! *Futurama* Hey, I should stop ranting again and just leave you this review, you did good and everyone used great teamwork. And when Shade said Ciao, genius. XD So, finish that chapter and go on to update! And I'm off. I won't really leave, but you don't have to talk to me. Ciao! *wink*
|
|
|
Post by charles finley. on Jun 3, 2007 21:27:40 GMT -5
mwhaa. You killed Al!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111 ... xDDDD
... Guys in Black = Men In Black. XDDDDD
I still totally envy your writing.
Update soons! :D
|
|
|
Post by YFWE on Jun 3, 2007 23:39:05 GMT -5
Very awesome!!! I couldn't find anything to critique...
I'll say more about the chapter itself when you finish. Nice job so far!! =]
|
|
dreamcatcher
Young Warrior Dragon
._.[ss:American Dragon | Season 1]
Posts: 1,892
|
Post by dreamcatcher on Jun 4, 2007 15:35:21 GMT -5
ALLL ISSSHHHH DEEEAAADDDD!!!!!
AWESOME CHAPTER RAFFI!!
UPDATE SOONS!
* eats cotten candy* YAY!
|
|
|
Post by ADJLFanatic on Jun 7, 2007 1:54:35 GMT -5
A/N: Dahahaha. *hugs the usual three people who never forget to reply... And Dreamcatcher!!* MY BESTEST PALLIES, other pal, and boyfriendddd. They're my besties alright (asides from my othersss) yush yush. HAHAHA anyway this is part is obviously longer than last time. I got up at four in the morning on Monday... and really cracked down... started working. Yeah... Cause what you guys (And I mean Ash, Ewan, and Kevin) said in that MSN convo last night really made me feel REALLY special, no joke. [; Anyway, thanks again ya guyssss. NYAHAHAHAHAHA. Yes, it is sort of ironic how I get up two hours before school every last Monday of the school year. XD Mr. Gibbs, you may throw my hat if you like... says (5:35 AM): Isn't it 5:30 there? Dance, this is the way they'd love if they knew how misery loved me. <3 says (5:36 AM): Yeah Dance, this is the way they'd love if they knew how misery loved me. <3 says (5:36 AM): XD Needed proof that I signed on early on Monday? Well there you go. *pokes timestamp and Kevin asking if it was five thirty my time* XD
OH speaking of June 4, 2007, happy duper late anniversary to us-nesssss. >:D Anyway!! :]
I MISS MY SCHOOL ALREADY. *sob* Tomorrow's my last day. And yes, I did skip an hour and a half past my bedtime just to get this part of AUA done. So PLEASE appreciate it because I might end up oversleeping tomorrow when it's finals for 70 minutes and I'm going to cry my eyes out cause I'm gonna MISS my friends like hella. :[
---
An Unlikely Adventure ShinoRocks127
Chapter 28 Alley To The Perils Between (Part Two)
--- “Shade,” Florence’s tone still sounded utterly shocked and perplexed, “What exactly are you doing around here in these parts?” “Well,” Shade held on to Florence’s hands, squeezing them tighter in a lightly matter, “I don’t know exactly, but we just got sent here — for whatever true reason it had been and how. Either way, since we’re here, we might as well see what was going on in a Huntsclan’s stronghold.” “I’m glad you did,” She said meaningfully, “I thought I would be stuck here without anybody that I knew. But, did you come here alone?” Shade shook his head, and she nodded slowly, “So where ARE the rest of the group?” “You see,” He shuffled his feet carefully and went from his heels to his tiptoes back and forth, his hands behind his back as he attentively spoke, “I kind of ran off without them. I was just something in my heart telling me that I should go; and I also have a feeling that you were here, so I tried to see if I was just daydreaming or if it was true.” “Aww, that’s sweet,” Florence had her eyes half-closed as she let out a careful smile, “And I’m pretty glad you were here; I was sort of thinking about you when I got away from these swarm of weird creatures.” “Then I guess that’s how my heart told me you were here,” Shade shrugged as soon as he released himself from their caress, considering that previous sentence as the answer to his problem, “but anyway, what was this about the swarm of weird creatures?” “This… guy that I don’t know was talking to me about something when I was in this prison cell. Somebody — Jackie — came by and helped me escape but he found out that I was gone. Then he said some weird things and I had to find these black creatures — you know, the ones we’ve always been seeing whenever we had to fight those Alliance people?” “Interesting… I guess that’s how you sort of… disappeared… when we were battling Kari. We defeated her, by the way.” “That’s good to hear, but there’s still Syrah that you have to take care of. She’s probably even stronger than Kari, but I’d be relieved and eager if they’re not dealing with the turmoil just yet.” “I hope they’re doing okay. I did kind of leave them by their selves while I went off running around trying to find you.” “Gee, I hope so too…” --- “Stay still already!” Syrah shouted in an aggravated tone, swing her elbow backwards so that she hit Rose in her abdomen — at least she had tried to. “And why would I do that?” Rose got a hold of a pole-like ledge from above and swung around as if she were on uneven bars. She made a complete spin with her grasp tightly held on to the upper shaft and pushed her opponent down. She pressed her hands on Syrah’s wrist to prevent her from escaping. “So this is why they chose you now, is it?” Syrah clenched her fists tightly and used her feet to push Rose out of her way. She was standing immediately with Rose still on the ground, “But why you? It could’ve been me; your father just HAD to choose you!” “Maybe so,” Rose made a lower kick and swung her arm forward to make a hard thrust that could give even the slightest blow to the head. In a slight unfortunate note, though she seemed to have missed and only caused Syrah to fall to the ground again, “but that doesn’t mean that I haven’t improved since,” She turned to a few people in the group, “And that doesn’t mean teamwork can’t beat you!” Jake plunged his own arm across Syrah, causing her to jerk her head away quickly to try and get herself to break her focus and lose her guard for a moment, “Well think again!” It was soon that they both stood back to back, “I got your back, Rose!” Emily called out after Jake stood back, having her hands held close-by together as if she were forming an X with both of them clenched together then spread them out speedily, releasing flames from her hands. She made a flip in the air and then landed, making a drop kick that pushed her forward. Syrah quickly got up and returned Emily with a slash as soon as she used her two blades in assisting her, making it so she didn’t anchor to the ground. Emily landed with a thump as her back hit the wall, unleashing a whip with her tail and pushed Syrah off her grip. Emily shot a glare for a moment and made a rearward toss but then stopped when both her hands (or… dragon paws?) were planted on the ground firmly. For a moment, she just stood in that position, but then pushed herself up and she rolled about in a tightly curled ball while in a high midair elevation then continued undulating until she walloped into the slightly confused Syrah and she was knocked down to the ground, “Score!” “I can take it from here!” Mark shouted voluntarily, letting Kay finish off with an aerial spin-off, releasing her arms and legs with compelled strength as if she were figure skating. Mark made his grand entrance by leaning forwards slightly as he jumped forward with an impress somersault off from his sled-like structure of fire, letting it collide into a ledge, as it had done no further damage. Emily grinned with appreciation as soon as she noticed that her friend had voluntarily taken the next set of attacks, Mark returning her gratitude with the same sanguine smile then continuing on. He made a barrel roll and lifted both of his feet, kicking her behind with both his ‘hind legs’ and then making a spin, releasing more fire from out of his hands. Before Amanda hopped in to the battle scene, he finished off his attack by leaving a sharp laceration by a few heavy slashes from his claws. After that, he flew away and reverted to his human form, watching the battle, alongside Emily. “Let’s go!” Amanda made a speedy dash and when Syrah attempted to attack her with an aerial strike, she retaliated by grabbing the blade she tossed, while maintaining her balance in midair as she released her wings instead of her full dragon form. She spread her legs apart as if she were doing the splits and flipped again, sending the blade down towards Syrah and it slipped her hand, also causing her to jump in one foot in pain. While Syrah was still in pain ‘mid-crisis,’ Amanda took this chance and made a backwards kick, followed by another rearward flip, grasping on Syrah’s wrists then throwing her off to a nearby wall, Amanda landing on the ground in ease. When her feet touched the ground, her wings disappeared and high-fived at Kevin for him to give him a turn. “Bring it on!” Kevin drew one of his hands just inches below his face and his other dangling lightly behind his back. He quickly transformed to his dragon form and plunged forward, picking up both of his feet first and attacking with them, lashing her out of the way. After that, he shot himself upwards and made a u-turn in the air then shoving his opponent into the floor and then stopped being physical by shooting, something that looked like, icicles or some sort from his hands then threw them underhand then soaring midair again. This time, he slid across the floor as if he were ice, dodging the incoming attack from Syrah that she attempted to make by thrusting both blades forward. Kevin made a loop in the air then landed on the ground, shoving her off by a powerful kick when she was just on the midst of getting herself up. After that, Kay called out to Kevin something that most people couldn’t understand or better yet have the ability to listen to (maybe because it was too loud to hear most anything at the moment) and then made a flip in the air, taking Kay’s hands by each of his own. Later on, she gripped his hands tighter, pushing herself forward with enough strength that she was able to flip over as well, as if she were an acrobat from a circus. She landed on the ground and then held her fist out in front of Syrah. “Let’s end this!” Kay made a dramatic entrance by slapping Syrah with the back of her hand as if she were insisting a response of a ‘no’ and then kicked her a few times until she fell to the ground. After that, she started to get a bit serious and then pushed herself down, then crouching down slightly then discharged herself into the air like a shooting star sending itself off into a night sky. Kay made a few spirals in the air then, while Syrah wasn’t looking, she single-handedly snatched one of her blades from her hand and spun it in a vertical motion then flipping forwards, making a final strike at Syrah by twirling the lone staff with one hand to hover herself from the ground as she reverted to human form, kicking her in the face with both of her feet and nearly landing on top of her by slashing off the other blade that was in her hand and it fell to the ground. Syrah had no other hope of getting herself up anymore and she whipped her with her tail and she crashed against the wall. “Ugh,” Syrah then slid down slowly as she met the ground, attempting to draw in a breath but was too worn out, “This isn’t the end… it isn’t for any of you.” She clenched her hand tightly and made a fist as she slowly faded away after being covered in a horde of darkness. Rose walked over as soon as there were no more traces of Syrah around, slowly turning her head over to the direction behind her looking as if she were about to say something but only nodded, signaling for everyone to come over and then muttered softly, the volume on her voice increasing, “Come on guys! We better follow after Shade; who knows what’s happening with him right now?” And with that, the group followed after her — they all have already reverted to their human forms if they gave a share in the battle or were a dragon — and hopefully anticipated to find Shade, Florence, or both of them together. The only thing they could do was to proceed further and plunge in deeper inward through the castle. Before they proceeded, though, Rose picked up the staff that Syrah left behind. --- “Florence,” Shade glanced away for a moment, “I have to get you out of here; I have to find everyone else and we can end this all as a group.” “Wait! Shade…” Florence walked over slowly and lowered her gaze slowly so that her’s met Shade’s, “I’m a part of this too. Besides, I really want to help you guys out — in any way possible.” “But I don’t want you to be in anymore danger,” He sighed, quickly breaking away from her stare, “I can’t afford to lose you again.” “Well if you don’t want me to be away from you, then the least you can do is let me fight by your side,” She kneeled down to try to catch his stare before he glanced away again, “Please. Who knows where I’ll end up or how we’ll end up finding each other again — that is if you send me off somewhere away from here,” Florence drew in a breath and pulled in, so close from each other that both of them could their silent, soft breathing on their faces. She lowered her voice intentionally, knowing Shade could still hear her even then, “Please? Just this once at least?” Shade didn’t say anything, forming a smile on his face and nodding so slowly that it seemed as if he weren’t even doing it. Unhurriedly, they both closed their eyes and drew in even closer. Their lips barely touched when they heard a loud crash come from a corner. Florence and Shade pulled apart rapidly, moving away from each other a few feet back as they glanced simultaneously to that direction. “I see you escaped. Smart of you,” The voice came the Huntsman, who was looking directly by his glaringly sinister red eyes from behind his mask, “But I’m afraid running off with your ‘boyfriend’ isn’t an option,” He pulled out his staff, swinging his fist forward and it appeared from out of thin air. Without having to pause in uncertainty, Shade and Florence stood together in their readied battle stances and their determined faces, staring ahead at him without any worry. “Bring it on then,” Shade stepped over with one foot in front of the other, Florence following his lead and doing the same. The Huntsman then decided to begin the attack first, gripping the blade with both of his hands and then making a sudden leap in the air, attempting to make an attack towards either one of them. Florence kicked the staff out his hands and then she turned over to Shade. Florence and Shade nodded in sync then took each other’s hands, squeezing each other’s tightly. Florence nodded a bit hesitantly then brought her hands to move upward, pulling Shade upwards with all her might as he shot up to the air with incredible speed and velocity. Before Shade made an airborne loop, he made his wings appear and slowly, the other parts of his dragon form appeared as well and then he plunged himself right into the Huntsman — he made it fast enough that he couldn’t even block his attack. The Huntsman hadn’t given up so easily, pulling himself up and then swinging a fist at Florence, who barely dodged the attack. Not being able to evade faster than she thought, she fell to the ground after getting herself away from the thump. Florence turned around before she made an attempt to get up then kicked him in the face to try and get him out of the way first. Later on, Shade took her hand and helped her up as they both darted off to a nearby corner. Shade stood in front of Florence as soon as the Huntsman made his way over. Shade made Kari’s staff appear in the same way he had done, but was apparently only experimenting to see if anything would happen, a bit shocked by this reaction but had to think fast. He blocked his incoming attack by holding the blade by the ends with each hand. Shade used all his might to ricochet the clout shot, pushing him to the ground. Shade pulled the staff back with his left hand slightly and Florence made a high leap several feet above Shade’s head, both of them now standing side by side. The Huntsman then thought for a moment, grunting softly as he dashed over to Shade, who lunged the staff before it hit him in the face. He retrieved his hand, the one that held his blade, to his side and then threw the staff in a height just below his waist and Shade took a jump quickly, attempting to dodge the attack but was only able to get his feet out of the way and Shade was knocked to the ground. He quickly retaliated, both of his hands on the ground — one leg with his knee close to his face and the other flat on the ground — then held them close together in front of his face and then slowly formed an orb of energy in his palms that slowly increased and then the icy force shoot him down to the ground. Shade had shot an attack so powerful that he was sent backwards a couple of feet but then pulled himself up. The Huntsman was sent flying upwards for a while until he used his blade to hover himself in the air then level him down to the ground then shot a beam from his staff towards Shade and he was sent back even farther. He crashed backwards into the wall, rubbing his head for a moment. Florence glanced back quickly and then thought for a moment, making a dash over to where Shade was — who was barely getting himself up and he stood up dizzily, still trying to gain his full focus — but fell to the ground when Florence made a leap a few feet away from him and she made a high leap after she shot up in the air in a high area from his head. “Ouch,” He muttered softly, rubbing his head furiously, turning over to Florence, wondering why she had done that. “Sorry, Shade!” Florence calling out apologetically, grinning nervously then stood from the high ledge, jumping of in an upward direction and then pulling her entire body downwards as she made multiple flips and then landed on top of the Huntsman. Her own blade was placed on top of him and she did something, a ball of light appearing from it and then a blast was shot, sending Florence backwards and she fell to the ground harshly. Shade walked over, helping her up to her feet and the smoke subsided, both of them staring at each with slightly awkward glances as they looked around, seeing no signs on the Huntsman anymore. Both of them stared over at each other again. “Wow, um… thanks Florence,” Shade didn’t know what to say after all of that. Florence made an unsure nod, “Thanks to you, too, Shade.” But soon longer after that, she quickly broke from the awkward moment and then gave him a tight hug, “Very much.” “Aww, look who finally found his love,” came a voice followed by a set of footsteps, as if a group had walked in. Florence and Shade broke apart quickly then looked ahead, staring at Ash, who was at the front of the group with everybody else slightly behind. Shade nervously glanced away as if he were about to blush a bright red, “Y-Yeah… I… found her.” Florence did the same, both of them looking in opposite directions, speechless by her welcomed articulation. Shade drew in a breath, maintaining his composure and looking ahead, “W-Well, did you guys ever… run into anybody?” Leah nodded, “Yeah, this one member of the Alliance. I think her name was… Syrah?” “Second in command,” Florence nodded, speaking a bit softly, “Yeah. She’s a lot of trouble. I’m guessing you guys defeated her?” “We sure did,” Ash said, a confident smirk on her face, making a fist and cheering silently in slight victory, “And she said teamwork wasn’t going to work either; we totally proved her wrong!” “I still don’t understand something, though,” Amanda crossed her arms, looking at a specific direction thoughtfully, “The fact that she acts like she mostly doesn’t care or something, same with Kari. It seems as though they give no remorse or have nothing to consider on about besides their own rage, anger, or sadness… anything along the lines of that; I see no happiness or any signs of the ‘good things,’ you know?” “Well, for one, I don’t think there’s anything to be happy ABOUT when you’re fighting your enemies,” Shade brought up, “But on the other hand, I think I feel that connection. It’s like you’re saying they have cheer in victory or anything ‘important’ that I would probably do if something good happened. Florence and I ran into the Huntsman and saw no surprised reaction from him — pretty much almost nothing into his fighting.” “Or neither did they even look like they had any expression,” muttered Emily, “But then again, I probably do anything like that during a battle.” “But wait, guys,” Kevin interrupted everybody’s constant and sudden ponders, “Ash did tell us that she got away from two Alliance members because one of them was going to ‘do something to her.’ She even told us about how Ash overheard their lack of ‘simple human emotions,’ or the need of it.” “Hey, I almost forgot about that,” said Kay, “but what would they want with emotions, and how does this all tie to this ‘running into Alliance people’ charade?” “Guys,” Ash stood in front of them, “Remember the story I told you guys? Well, I never did finish; I never elaborated on what happened between me and Al…” She drew in a breath, everyone leaning over slightly to hear things more carefully, “See, I don’t really know how to say this, but we were just wandering along trying to find a way out, and let’s just say I got a bit mad from there — and Al wasn’t too happy either…” --- “Al!” Ash shouted, her stomping one foot continuously on the ground, “What are you waiting for? It’s time to move things on!”
“Wait! I’m SURE there’s an exit around here,” Al was feeling around the walls and knocking on some of them, even. He peered his ear through small cracks and tried to find something that would help them escape.
“Al, if we search every small area here for three hours then we’ll never get out of here,” She sighed exasperatedly, rolling her eyes, “We’ve still found completely nothing anyway, so why don’t we just move on?”
“You never take me seriously! Why do you always have to make things so hard for me like you think I can’t do anything?”
“It’s because you never do, okay! It seems like you never want to do anything anyway!”
“Well you know what, I do! So what’s so hard about giving me a chance?”
Ash turned away, a furious rage building inside her, “It’s all his fault anyway. There’s nothing he can do to change anything,” She crossed her arms, clenching one of her hands together to make a fist and angrily looked over at Al. Ash suddenly had a strange feeling, as if it were overcoming her and suddenly, all her rage, anger, and hate blended together and it seemed to all come at once. Her eyes burned like the fire and pushed behind her other feelings, as if she couldn’t feel anything else.
Al was a bit confused, stepping back a little as he saw the fury in her expression, “Ash… A-Are you okay?”
Ash walked over slowly, that same sinister look never leaving her face. After she grinned with wrath, she dashed over and had caused him to be a bit intimidated a bit, Ash raised both of her hands and there seemed to a blade in each of her hands. She made a slash at Al, with him barely missing the attack she had attempted to make at him.
“Agh! What is up with you?” Al backed away, who had his back towards the lone corner that wasn’t surrounded by sharp fissures like the rest. He stared at the newly acquired weapon that was held by his opponent. Al gripped it with both hands to prevent himself from being scorn.
“Stop moving!” barked Ash, releasing the icy blade that she sent out to him from Al’s grasp and attempted to strike him from his body below his legs. This caused Al to trip, his hands planted on the ground as he endeavored to push himself up.
“Wait, Ash!” He exclaimed in fear, his girlfriend making a sharp thrust as she charged towards him, Ash slanted sideways and shoving him down, preventing him from getting up, “It’s me, Al! Don’t you remember me? Your BOYFRIEND?”
“I don’t remember any ‘Al’ from anywhere,” She grinned evilly, Al seeing the surprisingly bizarre malevolence in her eyes. He attempted to back away again but was tripped by a random object that he hadn’t seen behind him.
“Ugh,” Al groaned, rubbing the side of his head in slight pain. Before he could even move a muscle, Ash leapt towards him, landing with one leg bent towards the ground and the other laid flat. Her right hand rested on her knee and then pulled herself up, releasing yet another blade from her free hand. Ash had now obtained two knife blades and made the usual immorality stare into his eyes.
“Say goodbye,” Ash brought her left hand back and then threw it straight like a boomerang towards him and went straight through his body.
“Aaaagh!” He shouted, his arms and legs flailing in excruciating pain, later making no further actions and lay still on the ground. Upon doing this consequential action, Ash stood there for a moment, closing her eyes. It was then that a wicked spirit that held the fire of rage in her eyes exited her body and Ash, having the entire battle in her memories flashing before her eyes and she sped towards the motionless Al.
“Al!! Nooo!” Her eyes flooded with painful tears and she leaned her head on his right hand, sobbing hysterically and realizing what she had done.
“How does it feel…?” A deep voice appeared, a shroud of darkness clouding him from behind, “To kill somebody who was important to you…?”
Ash didn’t turn around, hiding her face behind her hands in shame, taking shallow breaths in between her cries, “How did this happen to me — to him? How could I have been so heartless?”
“Come on let it all out. Let every emotion you have towards your actions…”
“I can’t believe it. I’m like this animal that’s overcome me and what had caused me to become of it. Al was the most special person to me… but now he’s gone… just like everyone else… Why do all of these things happen to me? Do I really deserve to be feeling these emotions?”
“So is it your feelings to blame now, is it?”
|
|
|
Post by ADJLFanatic on Jun 7, 2007 1:54:55 GMT -5
Ash finally turned around, her puffy, red eyes still streaming with tears flowing down her face, “It feels like it… It’s difficult to experience every emotion that’s so hard to both live through and succumb. But, I can’t help it… why?”
“I once felt emotions like you did. It was nerve wrecking to live through each day without me fully understanding why I didn’t have them anymore, but I also realized that living without them helps me feel stronger.”
“So, do you think I’d be better off without them?”
“What do you think?”
Ash considered this for a moment, furiously wiping the tears away from her eyes after coming to her decision, “Yes… yes, I think I’d rather have nothing to feel at all…”
“Excellent,” The figure smirked with such pride, “since you feel that it’s right for you, come with me…”
A bit confused, Ash held her hands close together as the person she followed lead her through the threshold of blackened darkness. She thought she heard him mutter an, ‘After you,’ but just shrugged — not knowing exactly if he did or not — and went on ahead. The man held his arm out and closed the portal behind him, stepping in after her as well.
Ash slowly opened her eyes after having them closed, not knowing exactly where she ended up. She blocked the incoming light with her hand, squinting her eyes until the surroundings returned to normal and saw a lab-like area. She stepped forward, hearing an awkward, faint resonance as her shoes met the metal ground.
“W-What is this place?” She rubbed her eyes a bit more to try and make her vision less hazy.
“Welcome to the Alliance’s Stronghold,” He held his hand out once more, as if he were attempting to welcome her curiosity in her showing her around in the awkward, bright lit lair, “But let us skip the formations; let us get down to business.”
“And that would be…?”
“You said you’d rather feel no emotions at all, did you not? And I would gladly be happy to grant your wish — by taking it all away from you.”
Ash gulped, “If I would’ve known earlier and—I… I think I’m starting to have second thoughts.”
“Oh nonsense,” The man acted as if there were nothing to worry about in her mind full of teeming thoughts, “this is a simple operation and will possibly be extremely harmless.”
“How… simple?”
“It’s easy, we can just—“
“AAAH! Get away from me!” Ash shouted, slapping the mysterious person’s hand and running away, “You only want it out of me for a reason probably!” And with that, Ash darted out of the white room as fast as her two legs could carry her. From behind her, she thought she heard a sound of fingers snapping and a tall berserk figure and multiple small, black creatures that she had seen before swarmed around here. Ash held her hands close by together and then shot a beam towards all of them, making them all disappear by the simple strike, “Out of my way!”
As soon as Ash had cleared off the rest of the creatures that attempted a way to get at her, she ran past many areas of the castle, growing extremely exhausted but she knew couldn’t just stop and give up — even if it felt like you just had to sometimes. After finally deciding to give herself a break, Ash took a tremendously deep breath and put one hand against the wall, panting heavily as she tried to, once more, catch her breath again. While she took this time to rest, she thought, from the distance, she heard voices that seemed to be conversing to one another about a specific discussion. Slowly, she crept against the wall and spotted two people clothed from head to toe in the familiar black cloak.
“… I’ve heard the simplest way to gain those human emotions we once bore, just like what somebody from another group did; trick people to give up their own emotions in some… specific way then have them willing to have the operation and they transfer their emotions to you.”
“Sort of complex, but I heard that doesn’t work anyway. I’ve heard it’s a bit of a glitch in the blueprints in one of the labs around here.”
“Well, it’s sort of our mission to search out anything or anybody who have human emotions… and find our way to earn them ourselves; before we became non-existent people like mostly everybody here.”
Ash gasped silently, glancing away from the two members as she thought for a moment, trying to remember who said what and the words that were spoken exactly, “Human emotions?” She wondered to herself, whispering softly to herself. She turned with her back faced directly in front of them and she pondered thoughtfully, not having much of a chance to do or say much else when she heard footsteps approaching her. Ash stood in complete shock for a split-second then turned around to see the Alliance members whom she had been spying on staring directly at her. It looked as though both of them attempted to reach their hands out to her and Ash thought quickly, speeding of rapidly. She made her dragon wings appear from behind her back to give her a bit of a support and so that she could escape even quicker.
“Get her! We can’t let her escape!” She, often times, heard them calling out words at her or mumbles that she couldn’t quite perceive from about a few yards away. Ash made a quick consideration and then spotted a huge windowpane. Shutting her eyes tightly, she braced herself all she could by smashing herself into a window while jumping onto it in a tightly curled ball. The slightly confused members shrugged and tried their best to look over the outside of the fortress and saw Ash running away, her dragon wings had already vanished as she continued running within the Dark City and the two saw no signs of her anymore.--- “And,” Ash lowered her gaze, taking another deep breath, attempting to hold back her own tears, “that’s pretty much what happened before I ended up escaping the castle then finding you guys.” After a while, she couldn’t take it anymore, hiding her face in her hands and she nearly fell to the ground, the sounds of choked sobs coming from behind her trembling hands, “But I can’t believe what I did, though… Al must really hate me for doing that to him.” Everyone sighed in sympathy, Mark kneeling down to Ash’s height from her position and looking at her in the eye, “Hey, it’s not your fault… You didn’t really know what was going on, so you can’t really blame yourself for it.” “He’s right,” Emily did the same, she and Mark looking at each other in a specific way then turning back to Ash, “I might not know Al as much as you or anybody else does, but I’m pretty sure he knows by now that you never meant it; even if you guys fought. We all fight anyway, but we all make up too. So I’m pretty sure he would forgive you…” “I wouldn’t be so sure; I wouldn’t forgive me if I was him,” Ash mumbled from behind her hands, “I never would — never, never… ever, ever.” “Come on, Ash… If you want to sit around here and mope around about how you think it’s all your fault that Al is dead, then we’ll stay here with you,” said Shade, “I can’t really say that things like this happen all the time, but like they said, he can’t be mad at you.” “But Shade—“ “But nothing… I don’t think you exactly understand what I mean then; either way, you can sit around here for hours and we can wait for you or you can do the next best thing — trust your friends now and you can help us out in winning this thing as a team.” Ash slowly stood up, nodding gradually, “Alright. I can’t let this all get into my head!” “That’s my girl!” Emily gave her a tight hug. Shade and Mark did the same, to make her feel a bit better. “Well let’s go, then, guys,” She said with slight confidence and everyone followed her as she led the way through the Alliance stronghold. --- The footsteps echoed the hallway that lead to the top of the castle — the Alter of Naught. The group had been walking for a good while around the castle. It seemed as through they had been walking on an eternal labyrinth around the fortress. The stronghold such as this one wasn’t like a place where you could lose yourself into it and never be found. It always the fact that there were only two sides in the area — the place where you came from and the place we’re you’re going to. After a while, the group eventually passed an area where there was a strange pattern that contained a swirl of ocean blue and blood red in a bizarre mixture. Ash thought that it was a sign that they were getting somewhere close — and surely she was right. As soon as everyone passed the darkness cloud, ahead of them came a circled staircase that lead to the highest part of the Alliance castle. “Wow,” Shade muttered, “It’s been one in a million years where I thought we’d never reach the top of this thing…” The thought was slightly ignored, everyone proceeding on until they reached the top, and to their anticlimactic thoughts came a slightly disappointing finding — nothing. The group had eventually made their way completely on the top of the roof. It wasn’t exactly the biggest roof you’ve ever seen — it was a round pinnacle that was about to width of three apartment buildings in New York City squished together to make the blended circular shape. “I know somebody’s in here!” called out Florence. Shade stepped in, whispering to her in a slightly panicked voice. She just stared ahead as if she had known what she was doing, “Come out whenever you’re not feeling scared!” And after that was said by Florence, a figure emerged from the shadows and from the clouded darkness appeared Huntsdad, staring ahead at the group. Florence and Rose stepped forward together and stared over at one another, determined looks on their faces. The group looked ready, with their usual, readied battle stances, standing over with one foot in front of the other. “Give me the power of darkness!!” Huntsdad held his two blades in the air and shoot a luminous white beam directly both of them. Florence pushed Rose out of the way and Florence was raised up in the air, both shots blasted directly at her. She tightly shut her eyes, attempting to not make a painful reaction to the attack. “No! I won’t let you take Florence!” Shade angrily yelled, making Kari’s staff appear in his hand. He held both of his hands on it and shot a thick, straight, light blue beam from the staff. Shade held it with all his might while putting a lot of force in the ray he had shot from the blade. Rose mumbled slightly, pulling herself up and making the two staffs she had in her hand — her own and the one Syrah had that she left behind. Looking over at Shade, who was a bit too preoccupied to glance over, she did the same but was pushed down to the ground as she tried to exert the force from her “S-Sh… ade!” Florence attempted to sound out his name with so much effort as she had been struggling so much from all the energy that was being shot from her. And with that, she extended her fingers on her hand and, a bit carelessly, tossed her staff to him. Shade transferred one staff to his hand and successfully caught it with his free hand and the four beams were shot at the white force field surrounding Florence. “Is that all of the four blades of the Alliance? It’s… it’s not possible!” Huntsdad yelled, not having enough energy to block out the barrier that the energy from both Rose and Shade’s staffs possessed. And with that, he fell to the ground and Florence was no longer surrounded in the white energy orb. She harshly fell to the ground with a loud thump, trying to catch her breath. Shade dropped both of the blades in his hand and quickly approached Florence to see if she was all right. “And don’t forget to add a bit of us too!” Leah called out, shooting a pink beam from her hands. She looked over to the rest of the group and they all followed her lead. Kay followed after her with a blue and black flame, turning into a whip-like line, which shot out directly beside her’s. Emily let out a gush of water out from hands that was joined between the flame and Mark’s added orange blaze. Next in line was Amanda, who had a similar color and force in the attack as Mark while Kevin unleashed a streak of ice from his own hands. Ash formed a light blue beam from her hands and then let it shoot out like the beam similar to the one that everyone else had been doing. Madisen was last, using her own unique mix of magic — such as thunder, blizzard and fire together — as even rainbow-like line continued shooting out at Huntsdad, who was now floating in midair from all the attacks that were thrown out and attacked at him. “I don’t understand!” Huntsdad shouted again as he hit the ground with excruciating pain building inside from all the attacks, “This is not supposed to be the end!” And with that, he disappeared and everyone stared over at the swarm of black surrounding him and he vanished completely after several seconds. His blades, just as Kari’s and Syrah’s had been, were left behind and dropped slowly to the ground. Florence took a deep breath, standing up and thanking Shade for being there by her side, “Wow… we… we defeated the Alliance!” “We sure did!” shouted Amanda, who randomly started hugging Kevin in ecstasy. “But we never understood why they wanted human emotions,” Kay sighed as if she wanted an answer to the mystery. “Wait! I think I know why,” Rose said, slowly walking closer to the group, “The Huntsclan or the Alliance themselves never had true feelings; even if they are truly still humans themselves. Since I’ve read in several magical textbooks about how they bear a lot of anger and no remorse towards their objective, I’ve heard that there’s such a thing as ‘spirits’ overcoming their true selves. So those people were technically not those ones who were fighting — as if a spirit had taken over them or something. Since anger and hate, misery and sorrow, pretty much negative emotions and feelings can overcome and turn people into a completely different, more sinister person in this case.” “Wow,” Everyone stopped to realize how things started to piece together. “That must explain a lot the—“ Shade stopped, seeing something happening that was similar to the event way earlier in the great maw. The five staffs rose in the air and lined together in midair simultaneously, a glow shedding out from both of them and a strong current blew through people’s hair. As a usual reaction, each person blocked the light by the use of his or her hand and slowly, the light intensity grew so bright that they didn’t notice their slow vanishing into another area. “… Wow, how did we get back here?” Amanda slowly spoke, her mouth practically dropping open in shock, “And what happened to all the Alliance members and strange creatures that used to be here?” “I guess when we destroyed the executive members, the Huntsman, Huntsdad, AND their stronghold, I think it all led us home,” Ash said, crossing her arms and muttering half in thought, “Or at least, I think so; MY thought makes it sound like I’m a total hero, anyway.” “Well, frankly, I don’t care how we got here or not! I’m just glad we’re here anyway,” Emily rolled her eyes a little, walking over to the elevator that lead to the dorm rooms, “I would digress in thinking at this moment. I think I’ll just go back to my rooms and crash — which I know you guys wouldn’t find such a bad idea either.” “And you know what, I think that sounds like a good idea anyway,” Kay lightly waved one hand over her mouth, slowly turning her exaggerated fake into a real yawn, “Sleep always sounds good.” Most of the group murmured in agreement and they followed after Kay and Emily as they all continued exchanging words about many different things — which had, obviously, been mostly about the adventure that they went through today. From the group followed everybody, only two people were missing — which was apparent that two people had decided to linger off or stay behind, for whatever reason it had been at the point. Florence and Shade were the ones who noticed that they were the only ones left in the DISOM hallway in the first floor. Both of them nervously gazed at each other then concurringly glanced away, not exactly knowing the words to say, exactly. Shade slowly drew in a breath… “Well, it’s nice to be home… huh?” Shade laughed nervously then stopping himself, rolling his eyes slowly as if he wanted to smack himself for what he said to break the silence, “I mean… well, yeah, but… yeah… right?” “I guess so?” Florence nodded slowly, not really knowing how to reply, “Nice to be… here.” “Um, yeah… so… um, hey Florence,” muttered Shade half in thought, both of them still a bit shocked to actually be sitting together after all these weeks (possibly months) since they’ve been around each other, “anyway… did you ever remember that one time a while ago when I was desperate to tell you something?” Florence paused for a moment to try and think back, “I vaguely… remembered, yes.” Shade sighed first, “Well, I guess now’s the time that I have to say it…” “Something wrong?” She asked, concerned by the voice she had decided as a bit distressing coming from him. “Actually, yes, I think,” He replied silently, “Remember a few weeks ago when you said that we shouldn’t probably be hanging around so much and we should… break up?” After waiting to receive a nod from Florence, she did so and Shade continued. “Well, I didn’t want to be rude, so I just agreed to it when… I didn’t actually like the idea of separation. I’ll always love you, Florence — you should know that by now. And that means that I would do all it takes to see you every waking moment even if it means that I’ll end up killing myself. I know it might’ve been the right thing, but… in my opinion, maybe not the best thing.” Florence was speechless, but the words just wouldn’t stop pouring out from Shade’s mouth, continuing on once again. “I know; it sounds a bit ridiculous, but I was so depressed when I first heard those words — so hurt, I couldn’t stand it. But it was then that I thought you really believed it was right for us, though. So, I just agreed,” He shrugged solemnly, “Basically, I wished from the start that we never did it.” Shade sighed again, an apologetic voice between his murmurs, turning away with grief, “I do understand if you really feel that way, though. I hope you just know that I really still have those feelings for you that will never leave me — no matter where we are or what we think. I just… wanted to let you know… and I hope you don’t take it the wrong way.” Florence placed one hand on his shoulder, reassuring him, “Shade, if you really think that I really wanted all of that then you thought wrong. See, I never really liked the idea either. It took me forever to think up the right words; even then when I told you, I still didn’t find it even close to nearing perfection. It’s just so hard, you know? The time we spent together, the years we’ve shared… it’s just so hard… to push it all back and move on.” “I was hoping you wouldn’t take what I said the wrong way,” her voice slowly softened as Shade turned around once again, realizing what he had been hearing, “and when I told you, I realized then that I had that even worse feeling of regret… of sorrow… that emptiness. It’s like the actions that were so hard enough that I would regret it in the near future. And I still do…” “Shade,” Florence could feel tears behind her eyes, “I’m sorry for whatever pain I caused you… And more importantly, I wish I would’ve done better…” Shade softly leaned his head on Florence’s shoulder and looking up. “No, no,” He calmed her, with a quiet, comforting voice, running his finger down slowly so that he could wipe away her tears away, “this is nobody’s fault — it’s not mine, and it’s definitely not your’s either. We can’t let what the past did to us affect us now, or even the future. The point here is that you shouldn’t blame yourself for anything. “There’s always such a thing as starting over,” They both looked into each other’s eyes, as he sustained with his words, “And there’s such a thing as a better beginning.” “Thanks Shade,” she said a bit guiltily but in a pleasurable manner, “You always make everything better…” As they both responded to one another with a calm smile, Florence extended her arms and pulled Shade in for a hug. Before having a chance to whisper once again in gratitude once they had gone back to their original position, Shade leaned in slowly, closing his eyes, until their lips met and had also pulled in for a kiss… Florence pushed some of her hair back behind her left ear, laughing a bit nervously with a sheepish grin, “Wasn’t really expecting that coming…” “I’m just glad to see you again,” Shade as he blinked slowly and they once again let their gaze linger off in each other’s eyes. The two of them, later then, stepped out of the stairway and stood on top of the Main Square in the DISOM first floor. “Hey, does that girl know you or something?” Florence noticed something as she pointed to the direction behind Shade. He turned around to see an oddly familiar figure in the distance waving frantically over at him. “Huh? Oh,” Shade whispered, slowly making his way over then turning around for a brief moment, “I… um… I’ll be right back, Florence.” “Alright,” She nodded slowly then realizing something, “I have to go make a call anyway. Be right back!” And with that she sped off on the opposite direction, leaving him to wonder who the mystery person had been. Shade moved uncomfortably, slowly walking towards the direction to the figure that was waving at him. Once he had gone over, it seemed like he couldn’t believe what he saw with his eyes. “Shade,” The girl who gestured a hello looked over at him, as if he were somebody she had known her whole life — and he was. “Sis…?” Shade’s mouth almost dropped down in shock, “S-Since when do you know that I went to… DISOM?” His voice trailed off after he said that, realizing something relating to that. ( A/N: By the way, I did say way earlier in the story that Shade’s sister used to go to his school, but let’s just say that she didn’t because I decided to be stupid and tweak things again.) “Well, you did say that you were going off somewhere, but you and Florence never came back; so, I came around all this time looking for guys,” She replied a bit silently, “to make sure you were both doing fine.” Shade looked down, sighing and slowly turning away, “I’m sorry.” Before he could continue on any further, it was much to even his surprise to receive the most shocking reaction. His sister pulled his hand, Shade slowly brought into a tight, comforting hug. Shade sighed in relief and pleasure as he willingly returned the embrace, “But this is real.” “Thanks,” He whispered slowly until they slowly pulled apart. “Oh, speaking of this entire thing, I wanted to tell you something for whenever I would see you again…” “And that would be…?” “Well, now that I’ve gone through so much all this time, mom and dad have been worrying about me too; I told them everything and how I’d be looking for you. And they told me to come back as soon as I find you, so…” “You want me to come with you… back home?” “I know you’ve gone through so much — I’ve heard — but I still hope it’s not much to ask for.” Shade thought for a moment, “I guess so, but still, Florence and I barely had this time together — it’s a long story. Mom and dad are important too, though; I haven’t seen them for a year or something either.” “Besides, I’m sure they’ll only keep you home for a month or something. They ought to be missing us badly, but mostly you,” She added. “But… school ends in a week, not two months or… one,” His tone unsure, “Are you sure that they’ll really keep me THAT long?” “Come on, they’ve really been wondering how you’ve been doing,” Shade’s sister replied with a shrug, “So, how about it?” Shade slowly nodded, “Sure, I’ll go back home with you.” “Great! We’ll leave in a little while then!” “… I just hope Florence won’t take it the hard way,” He muttered softly after seeing his sister cheer silently to herself. Right after his short thought, he told his sister that he’d be right back after a while.
|
|
|
Post by ADJLFanatic on Jun 7, 2007 1:55:14 GMT -5
--- “Really?” Florence had her cell phone pressed against her left ear, exchanging a conversation between somebody on the other line, “You’re sure?” Pause, “You are the greatest!” Another pause, “Alright then, thanks so much!” Florence slipped her phone back in her pocket and merrily skipped across the hall, trying to find Shade again, “Sha-ade! Where are you?” Shade sighed exasperatedly, hearing the sweet, familiar voice calling out for his name in a singsong tone. He mouthed a few words for a moment, walking over where she could see him then taking a deep breath, “Right here!” Shade held out his arms and she ran over while he waited, Florence hugging him tightly. “Oh my gosh, I have some really important news!” She beamed, bouncing up and down for a while then pausing. “Me… too,” Shade laughed nervously, scratching the back of his head, “You first.” “Yay,” Florence grinned softly, “Okay, I just got off the phone with my mom and she says that I can stick around here for a while! And when I mean that, I mean that I get to room in the same dorm that’s right next to your’s — and the best part is, we could hang around everyday! Isn’t that great, Shade?” Shade heard himself screaming full of guilt in his mind, “Yeah… great.” He made his nervous laugh again then sighing as if he were acting ridiculous to himself. “So, what was your news?” “Oh! Um… well, I… I… knew that girl who… waved at me…?” “That’s… great. Who is she?” “A… friend… maybe a bit of… a… relative… um… very, very… close… relative,” Shade stammered, “Maybe… m-my sister?” “What? Your sister’s here?” Florence gasped, “But wait, didn’t we promise that we’d come back so she wouldn’t worry?” Shade sighed as if he were admitting defeat, “Can we sit down for a second? This is kind of important.” Concerned, she nodded and followed him to an area where grass lay across the field. They both sat cross-legged beside each other and Shade turned her direction over to her. “So, what’s so important with your sister being here?” Florence asked breaking the silence, as she, too, turned around and they were both staring directly into each other’s eyes, “I mean, is there anything bad or anything?” “Umm,” Shade didn’t exactly know how to begin it, “remember when we went off on that journey together and your sister said that we should come back once we know that we’re completely safe and done with it?” “Yeah, I remember that she was so worried that she almost didn’t let you leave and—“ “Well, about that, my sister told me that we never came back. And she was still so bothered that she came to look for us… mainly, me. But, now that she’s found me, she really wants me to…” “To…?” “To go… back home… and I mean, back to New York.” Florence felt as if everything stopped for that brief moment, “Oh, well… no big deal, right? They only want you for probably a day, you know? They might understand that you’re attending a school now, and—“ Shade cut her off, “That’s the thing, though. My sister told me that they might want to keep me for… a longer time. Maybe a month, it could be now until summer ends. Florence, they… really miss me…” “I guess it’s okay, right? Your parents’ concern is more important than… mine,” She couldn’t believe that she actually poured out those words from her mouth, “Even if this was the first time in… months… that we’ve actually had this moment to be together…” “I’m really sorry, Florence. I almost wish I didn’t have to go either,” He muttered softly, “But, to be honest, I sort of miss them too.” Florence sighed, slowly shaking her head, “No, it’s okay. I’m pretty sure that I’ll see you soon anyway.” And with that, she stood up without saying a word, “Have fun…” “Florence, I—“ Shade also did, upon seeing her do so. There was no further response from her and she turned away. The sound of running footsteps echoed the hall as Florence sped out of the first floor and she was out of Shade’s sight. Shade shut his eyes for a brief moment, lowering his gaze fixed to the ground as he sadly began walking away from the hall. And from that point, it felt as though he ruined the moment he had been longing for since their separation… But there was nothing else that could change that from happening anymore. Shade was leaving and Florence was staying. It would only be a week or two, but it seemed like it would take a bit longer than the think. And then, it seemed as if two ends of the hallways had a sound of distant mumbles… or had it just been the faint resonance of crying? --- End Chapter Twenty-Eight(Part Two)DAAAAAAAH! *shakes Ewan violently* IS THERE NO SHOULDER FOR ME TO CRY ON?!?!? Ummm... XD; Anyway. WOWOWOW. School ends tomorrow... no more 8th grade. No more... GOING TO HIGH SCHOOL HERE CAUSE I'M MOVING. *sob* But at least I'm going to California. Wheee... *hopes I can make friends* D: Wellwellwell anyway... I was gonna take off cause 'W,' 'A,' 'Double L,' 'I,' 'E,' was crazy texting me on the cell with Paige next door and Evan in the room next to her's. Whoaaaaa. But I finished AUA even if I'm gonna miss them both. Nyahahaha. >:D (By the way, the ending 'battle scene' with Huntsdad was a bit rushed and not really that elaborate but I just wanted the chapter done and overwith and it's WAAAAAAAAAAY past my bedtime.) CIAO!! MWAHAHAAHAHA. And yes, I love Shade/Florence, but I'm so evil abouts it. NYAHAHAHAAHHA! >:D <|3's Raffi P.S. If you wanna read then here's an MSN convo that you'll 'probably' enjoy because Kevin rules... and stuff. *holds up a sign that says 'Kevin is My Favorite Writer Ever'...'and he's motivating'* XD (This was in around five forty five my time; hence the written time stamp after our display names. I'm hopeless... XP) Mr. Gibbs, you may throw my hat if you like... says (5:41 AM):You should've heard me last night. Mr. Gibbs, you may throw my hat if you like... says (5:41 AM):I told Ewan and Ash... Mr. Gibbs, you may throw my hat if you like... says (5:41 AM):Dammit, why is she good but thinks she's so bad?!?! Mr. Gibbs, you may throw my hat if you like... says (5:42 AM):Or at least Ewan and Ash because Nick convinced me otherwise. Mr. Gibbs, you may throw my hat if you like... says (5:42 AM):XD Dance, this is the way they'd love if they knew how misery loved me. <3 says (5:42 AM):Interesting. Dance, this is the way they'd love if they knew how misery loved me. <3 says (5:42 AM):XD Mr. Gibbs, you may throw my hat if you like... says (5:42 AM):And then we decided we were gonna hold you down and yell at you when you got on. Mr. Gibbs, you may throw my hat if you like... says (5:42 AM):And like two seconds later, Mr. Gibbs, you may throw my hat if you like... says (5:42 AM):You did. Mr. Gibbs, you may throw my hat if you like... says (5:42 AM):XD Dance, this is the way they'd love if they knew how misery loved me. <3 says (5:42 AM):XD Dance, this is the way they'd love if they knew how misery loved me. <3 says (5:42 AM):Yeeaah Dance, this is the way they'd love if they knew how misery loved me. <3 says (5:43 AM):Then Ewan was like "HI HONEY" and Ash held me down. Dance, this is the way they'd love if they knew how misery loved me. <3 says (5:43 AM):I was like... wtf? Dance, this is the way they'd love if they knew how misery loved me. <3 says (5:43 AM):XD Mr. Gibbs, you may throw my hat if you like... says (5:43 AM):And then I came Mr. Gibbs, you may throw my hat if you like... says (5:43 AM):And was like Mr. Gibbs, you may throw my hat if you like... says (5:43 AM):Yeah Mr. Gibbs, you may throw my hat if you like... says (5:43 AM):XD[/spoiler] (Gotta love those early morning conversations... XD)
|
|
dreamcatcher
Young Warrior Dragon
._.[ss:American Dragon | Season 1]
Posts: 1,892
|
Post by dreamcatcher on Jun 7, 2007 8:54:40 GMT -5
AWESOME CHAPPTER RAFFI!
WOO GO PEOPLE AND KICK SYRAH'S A** WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!XDD
leaving 8th grade is hard.... I got out two days ago and I'm still sad. :[
update soon!!!
* dances*
|
|
|
Post by YFWE on Jun 7, 2007 10:36:27 GMT -5
Alright, here's the deal.
I'm getting kinda mad at you, Raffi. Know why?
I still can't find anything major you did wrong. You're making it hard on me!! Now I must scrutinize your every move... XD
But seriously, REALLY nice! The Ash flashback, however, was a bit unnecessary considering that it took up about a fifth of the chapter in all and you had already written about it in that chapter. If you're planning on submitting it to FFnet, it'll seem a bit strange to have a whole section repeated in the same chapter. Just a thought, though.
Other than that, it was of course very nice! I totally have a huge adulation for your action scenes, especially in the fight against Syrah. Amazing!
And that's all I can rave about for now. I'll probably talk to you more about it on MSN. XD But GREAT JOB!!!
|
|