Post by redemption on May 11, 2007 16:07:02 GMT -5
Author's Notes/Warnings: Nothing explicit. Basically crack, mild/major OOCness and references to Season 1. One of those "at the time, it seemed like a good idea" fics.
What A Little Moonlight Can Do
Jake was bored.
Yes, he was the American Dragon. Yes, his crush was his mortal enemy. Yes, he knew he shouldn’t have been bored out of his mind like he was right now.
But, really, wouldn’t you find guarding a unicorn herd just a little boring? Especially when the unicorns didn’t seem to be in any danger?
Yeah. Thought so.
Anyway, Jake was perched in a tree (hey it’s my story, so Jake can be perched anywhere I want him to be!), watching a unicorn herd (See above…), and was bored out of his mind. Nothing was happening. Okay yeah, maybe a few local werewolves were beginning to eye unicorns as walking chicken legs on feet, but they weren’t in any immediate danger tonight, so why did he have to watch them?
Oh, yeah, he’d forgotten. Lao Shi had a hot date tonight. Scary, huh? Let us all clasp our faces in horror and scream at the sheer scariness of it.
Don’t we feel better now?
Moving on….
Jake was about to fly away, Lao Shi and his hot date or no, when he saw movement in the shadows. He frowned. “I guess G was right,” he muttered. “Maybe these guys are in some sort of danger…” He tensed, and crept a little farther down the branch he was resting on. It bent slightly under his weight (Note this, it’s going to be important later in the story).
Another rustle, and the Huntsgirl stepped out into the moonlight, her eyes ablaze, her hair touched silver by the light. Jake bared his teeth in frustration. Why her? Why was it always her? Why couldn’t it be Herbert the goblin, or the Dark Dragon, or Dr. Drakken?
Wait…. Dr. Drakken’s a Kim Possible villain…
While Jake was pondering this, Huntsgirl trotted into the clearing. His burning eyes tracked her every move, but something seemed… different. True she was in her Huntsgirl attire, but she didn’t seem like she was hunting. If anything she seemed… curious. About the unicorns, of all things. Hadn’t she ever seen one before?
Well, yeah, she had, but that wasn’t really the point… moving on…
Jake frowned, creeping a little farther down his branch. What on earth was she up to?
As if thinking the same thoughts, a young yearling unicorn lifted its head and regarded Huntsgirl curiously, its ears swiveling forward as she stopped. After a moment, the yearling took a timid step from its herd towards the young huntress.
Huntsgirl just watched.
Growing bolder, the young unicorn walked farther from the safety of its herd, making Jake groan. The stupid animal! Couldn’t it see that it was a trap!
The unicorn stretched out its neck, sniffing Huntsgirl’s fingers when she offered it her hand.
… No… No, it couldn’t….
Jake was just bracing himself to leap into the clearing and prevent a slaying that he was certain was about to happen when the unicorn, becoming even bolder now that it had smelled Huntsgirl’s scent, gently nipped her fingers. Jake slapped his hand to his forehead.
Huntsgirl giggled.
What the…
“Hey, that tickles,” she said, gently pulling her hand away from the yearling. The creature’s ears flattened slightly, but there was no mistaking the gleam of mischief in its eyes. Stretching its neck farther, the yearling gently gripped Huntsgirl’s glove in its teeth, and with a small jerk of its head tugged it off.
“Hey!”
Huntsgirl made a swipe for the glove, but the yearling pranced out of her reach, its tail swishing, its eyes alight with laughter as it watched the young girl before him. Huntsgirl glared at it, but there was no real anger in her eyes. “Give me that!”
The unicorn stamped a hoof against the ground. The message was clear.
If you want it, come and take it.
Huntsgirl growled, and Jake snorted, trying to conceal his laughter. He had never seen this side of the young huntress before, even as Rose.
“Two can play at that game,” Huntsgirl snapped, then made a lunge for the glove. The unicorn scrambled away from her. “Oh, come on!”
The unicorn snorted behind her glove.
“You aren’t keeping it!”
What followed was an interesting little game of cat and mouse. Basically, Huntsgirl made a grab for the glove, and the unicorn always moved out of her way. Jake found it quite funny, really.
The unicorn trotted tauntingly in a circle around Huntsgirl, her glove dangling from its mouth. Huntsgirl paused for a moment, then dove for the creature’s legs. They both fell in a tangled heap of unicorn and girl.
“Gotcha!” Huntsgirl cried triumphantly, snatching the glove out of the unicorn’s mouth. The yearling snorted and staggered to its feet, before lowering its head and giving Huntsgirl’s shoulder a gentle nudge.
“Quit it, Lightfoot,” Huntsgirl mumbled. “I’m exhausted.”
“She named it?” Jake murmured, moving a little farther down his branch. Maybe she wasn’t as huntress… like… as he thought.
The yearling just nudged her shoulder again. “Alright, alright!” Grumbling, Huntsgirl rolled over and pushed herself to her feet. “But if I broke anything, I swear it’s all your fault!”
Lightfoot snorted and tossed his head.
“You wish.”
Jake had just about moved to the very tip of his branch when it finally happened. The branch snapped, and Jake, stunned by the sudden movement, plunged and landed quite roughly into the bushes.
“Aaaayyeeeeeee!”
Oh, did I mention those bushes had thorns? I didn’t? Well, now I did.
Lightfoot snorted and galloped back to his herd, and Huntsgirl whirled sharply at Jake’s pain-stricken howl. “What was that?!”
Huntsgirl walked back over to the bushes and parted them, wincing as thorns gently bit into her gloves… and found herself gazing at a very dazed, very bruised American Dragon. Surprisingly, the normal urge to slay him on the spot didn’t well up inside her chest, and instead, she giggled.
“That hurt,” the dragon muttered, twisting his head to meet her gaze. Huntsgirl snickered.
“I thought you could fly?”
“So did I!” the dragon retorted, wincing as his body throbbed with the bruises. Huntsgirl frowned, feeling an odd feeling of both sympathy for him and fighting the urge to laugh at the ridiculousness of the situation.
“Stupid conscious….”
Kneeling down, tearing away some of the branches that blocked her from the dragon, Huntsgirl began to gently and carefully tend to his bruises, ignoring the occasional yelp of pain from said dragon.
… Now, after making every character as OOC as possible, I’m going to drop this story off a cliff, since I have nothing better to do with it.
The End
... And thus ends my attempt at humor.
I was just scanning my finished stories and found this sitting there; I wrote it sometime after "The Ski Trip" and it was my first real attempt at a humor fic.
Not surprisingly, after writing this, I decided angst and drama were more my genres.
What A Little Moonlight Can Do
Jake was bored.
Yes, he was the American Dragon. Yes, his crush was his mortal enemy. Yes, he knew he shouldn’t have been bored out of his mind like he was right now.
But, really, wouldn’t you find guarding a unicorn herd just a little boring? Especially when the unicorns didn’t seem to be in any danger?
Yeah. Thought so.
Anyway, Jake was perched in a tree (hey it’s my story, so Jake can be perched anywhere I want him to be!), watching a unicorn herd (See above…), and was bored out of his mind. Nothing was happening. Okay yeah, maybe a few local werewolves were beginning to eye unicorns as walking chicken legs on feet, but they weren’t in any immediate danger tonight, so why did he have to watch them?
Oh, yeah, he’d forgotten. Lao Shi had a hot date tonight. Scary, huh? Let us all clasp our faces in horror and scream at the sheer scariness of it.
Don’t we feel better now?
Moving on….
Jake was about to fly away, Lao Shi and his hot date or no, when he saw movement in the shadows. He frowned. “I guess G was right,” he muttered. “Maybe these guys are in some sort of danger…” He tensed, and crept a little farther down the branch he was resting on. It bent slightly under his weight (Note this, it’s going to be important later in the story).
Another rustle, and the Huntsgirl stepped out into the moonlight, her eyes ablaze, her hair touched silver by the light. Jake bared his teeth in frustration. Why her? Why was it always her? Why couldn’t it be Herbert the goblin, or the Dark Dragon, or Dr. Drakken?
Wait…. Dr. Drakken’s a Kim Possible villain…
While Jake was pondering this, Huntsgirl trotted into the clearing. His burning eyes tracked her every move, but something seemed… different. True she was in her Huntsgirl attire, but she didn’t seem like she was hunting. If anything she seemed… curious. About the unicorns, of all things. Hadn’t she ever seen one before?
Well, yeah, she had, but that wasn’t really the point… moving on…
Jake frowned, creeping a little farther down his branch. What on earth was she up to?
As if thinking the same thoughts, a young yearling unicorn lifted its head and regarded Huntsgirl curiously, its ears swiveling forward as she stopped. After a moment, the yearling took a timid step from its herd towards the young huntress.
Huntsgirl just watched.
Growing bolder, the young unicorn walked farther from the safety of its herd, making Jake groan. The stupid animal! Couldn’t it see that it was a trap!
The unicorn stretched out its neck, sniffing Huntsgirl’s fingers when she offered it her hand.
… No… No, it couldn’t….
Jake was just bracing himself to leap into the clearing and prevent a slaying that he was certain was about to happen when the unicorn, becoming even bolder now that it had smelled Huntsgirl’s scent, gently nipped her fingers. Jake slapped his hand to his forehead.
Huntsgirl giggled.
What the…
“Hey, that tickles,” she said, gently pulling her hand away from the yearling. The creature’s ears flattened slightly, but there was no mistaking the gleam of mischief in its eyes. Stretching its neck farther, the yearling gently gripped Huntsgirl’s glove in its teeth, and with a small jerk of its head tugged it off.
“Hey!”
Huntsgirl made a swipe for the glove, but the yearling pranced out of her reach, its tail swishing, its eyes alight with laughter as it watched the young girl before him. Huntsgirl glared at it, but there was no real anger in her eyes. “Give me that!”
The unicorn stamped a hoof against the ground. The message was clear.
If you want it, come and take it.
Huntsgirl growled, and Jake snorted, trying to conceal his laughter. He had never seen this side of the young huntress before, even as Rose.
“Two can play at that game,” Huntsgirl snapped, then made a lunge for the glove. The unicorn scrambled away from her. “Oh, come on!”
The unicorn snorted behind her glove.
“You aren’t keeping it!”
What followed was an interesting little game of cat and mouse. Basically, Huntsgirl made a grab for the glove, and the unicorn always moved out of her way. Jake found it quite funny, really.
The unicorn trotted tauntingly in a circle around Huntsgirl, her glove dangling from its mouth. Huntsgirl paused for a moment, then dove for the creature’s legs. They both fell in a tangled heap of unicorn and girl.
“Gotcha!” Huntsgirl cried triumphantly, snatching the glove out of the unicorn’s mouth. The yearling snorted and staggered to its feet, before lowering its head and giving Huntsgirl’s shoulder a gentle nudge.
“Quit it, Lightfoot,” Huntsgirl mumbled. “I’m exhausted.”
“She named it?” Jake murmured, moving a little farther down his branch. Maybe she wasn’t as huntress… like… as he thought.
The yearling just nudged her shoulder again. “Alright, alright!” Grumbling, Huntsgirl rolled over and pushed herself to her feet. “But if I broke anything, I swear it’s all your fault!”
Lightfoot snorted and tossed his head.
“You wish.”
Jake had just about moved to the very tip of his branch when it finally happened. The branch snapped, and Jake, stunned by the sudden movement, plunged and landed quite roughly into the bushes.
“Aaaayyeeeeeee!”
Oh, did I mention those bushes had thorns? I didn’t? Well, now I did.
Lightfoot snorted and galloped back to his herd, and Huntsgirl whirled sharply at Jake’s pain-stricken howl. “What was that?!”
Huntsgirl walked back over to the bushes and parted them, wincing as thorns gently bit into her gloves… and found herself gazing at a very dazed, very bruised American Dragon. Surprisingly, the normal urge to slay him on the spot didn’t well up inside her chest, and instead, she giggled.
“That hurt,” the dragon muttered, twisting his head to meet her gaze. Huntsgirl snickered.
“I thought you could fly?”
“So did I!” the dragon retorted, wincing as his body throbbed with the bruises. Huntsgirl frowned, feeling an odd feeling of both sympathy for him and fighting the urge to laugh at the ridiculousness of the situation.
“Stupid conscious….”
Kneeling down, tearing away some of the branches that blocked her from the dragon, Huntsgirl began to gently and carefully tend to his bruises, ignoring the occasional yelp of pain from said dragon.
… Now, after making every character as OOC as possible, I’m going to drop this story off a cliff, since I have nothing better to do with it.
The End
... And thus ends my attempt at humor.
I was just scanning my finished stories and found this sitting there; I wrote it sometime after "The Ski Trip" and it was my first real attempt at a humor fic.
Not surprisingly, after writing this, I decided angst and drama were more my genres.