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Post by yfwe on Apr 11, 2006 11:06:06 GMT -5
::sigh:: Well, it's that time of year again. I have to write another Dragon in Paradise. XD This, of course, shall be the sequel, and the link to the first is in my signature. Anyway... it's not done yet. XD But it should be soon... maybe by tomorrow. Here's a little background info for those of you who have never read the first... in the first one, Jake and his family left on vacation, what ensued was absolute randomness, leaving it to be probably the dumbest story ever. (And also my most popular. XD) The second will be a lot more opinion-based than the last, and if it was a movie, it'd definitely be closer to PG-13 than the first one was. Maybe even R. I have really sick humor. That's just how I roll. XD In the story, I'll detail Jake, Trixie, Spud, and... well, Grandpa and FU, as they board Gramps's new pimpin' RV and head out on a roadtrip. On the way, we will bash the hell out of the US government, and enter in cheesy after cheesy saying that I just saw on a commercial. It'll likely have a plot sooner or later, but at the beginning, it'll basically be nothing except for opinionated ranting by myself and the characters. If you've read my stories before, this one will be more like the 'Sprite story' than DIP. But that's a good thing... right? Oh, and be on the lookout; I might make the characters visit some of your houses! ^_^ So anyway... the update should be here by tomorrow. I've got the new Kingdom Hearts game, though, so... what to do? XD Anyway... have a wonderful April 11th!
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Post by ADJLFanatic on Apr 11, 2006 13:05:17 GMT -5
HAHA. Omgosh, on the side note, it's the time of month for Kel and I's 2 month anniversary, so.. rhgfghlrkgrkgj YAY! ;D Anywaaays, back to rambling about this story...
OMGOSH! DIP 2! Tis be awesome! I=can't wait! w00t!!!! This is gonna be better than the first! HAHA! OMGOSH! OMGOSH! OMGOOOOOSH! O.O Oh, and yah, I've played the new KH game tooooooo. So, HA! I loved it sooo much. XPXPXP
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feelgoodfailure
Young Warrior Dragon
NO RED MEAT! NO REFINED SUGAR!
DO A BR00TAL ROLL
Posts: 1,706
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Post by feelgoodfailure on Apr 11, 2006 13:25:00 GMT -5
sounds groovy. XD cant wait!!! "bash the hell outta the US government." now thats MY kind of story! w00t!
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Post by dragoondart on Apr 11, 2006 15:30:43 GMT -5
You know I cant wait. oh shoot, what if they visit my house (goes to clean and put up all anti government crap I have. XD
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Post by crazy17 on Apr 11, 2006 15:37:41 GMT -5
*gasp* AAAAAAAAHHHH!! ;D ;D shift;spaceshiftd
Yay! You finally started it! Can't wait for the first chap!
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Post by Atecom on Apr 11, 2006 16:11:19 GMT -5
Ahhh the long awaited sequel, I look forward in great anticipation to reading it
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Post by charles finley. on Apr 11, 2006 19:53:52 GMT -5
*taps desk * Has it started know? Know? How 'bout know? *gets a look from YFWE* What?
Oh my goshness! I cant wait!
Know why in the world would u want to bash the hell out of the US government, and enter in cheesy after cheesy saying that u just saw on a commercial?
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Post by writingcat730 on Apr 11, 2006 22:09:07 GMT -5
I loved the first story, so I can't wait for the sequel! Oh, and be careful of those Kingdom Hearts games...they're dangerous to your mental health. My friend M got addicted to the first one and spent all night and day of the whole summer playing it! Then she fell in love with Sora and his big yellow shoes and...yeah. I am not lying! Oh, well, I'm rambling, but I enjoy reading rambles...so ramble all you want! Can't wait!
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Post by yfwe on Apr 13, 2006 9:37:59 GMT -5
Wow... I'm flattered that so many of you actually want to read it! ^_^ Thanks, everyone. I have the first chapter completed, actually. It's all a matter of when I can type it up... today I have track practice followed by driving classes 'til 7, and then tomorrow I have an actual Track meet. So I'll see what I can do. ^_^ Thanks again!
Oh, and clearing this up because some people have been asking me this: Yes, I DID de-admin myself. I kinda, um... screwed up when I was playing around with the admin controls. I told PD about it, so whenever he gets on, it'll hopefully be fixed. XD
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Post by yfwe on Apr 13, 2006 20:41:58 GMT -5
Dragon in Paradise 2 YFWE Chapter One- A Forward
It has been said that Spring Break is the greatest academic achievement in the history of the public school. They say it is a refreshing break, one that gives you time to relax and reflect on your school year thus far as you head into the home stretch, although, of course, no one likes to think about school while they’re on vacation.
But, frankly, who gives a damn about Spring Break when there is Summer Vacation!?!
Summer vacation is an extended three month break from school that is not only a great way to enjoy summer, but is also the public school’s own little way of sticking it to the preppy year-round schools.
Spring Break and Summer Vacation are closely related. They both depict the struggles of the everyday student finally succeeding and getting out of the hellhole they call their school. Of course, one is longer than the other. Which is why Summer Vacation is better. Believe me, I know. Chuck Norris told me so.
It is because of the idea of Summer Vacation looming upon us that we as students decide to get a bit more carefree in the days leading up to the final bell of the school year. Of course, some places still have exams before school lets out. And let’s face it- exams suck. They’re like Sierra Mist- so evil, so inferior to Sprite and the Coca-Cola Company in every which way.
That, however, is a whole other story.
At any rate, the end of the school year partying was in full session at Jake Long’s school. This included, but was not limited to: making fun of Millard Fillmore (for whom the school was named for), defiling the school in general (especially the cafeteria, where lunch ladies were put into hiding as food fights became a common occurrence, usually started by that one fat kid who ends up hiding in the bathroom while the fight is going on anyway. He’s in there with the demented little anorexic girls that are vomiting the hamburger they ate five minutes ago. Haha... isn’t school grand?), among other things. It was also a time in which you could do a lot to the teachers, especially the older ones that would forget about your ‘incident’ with the choir’s piano and the second-floor glass window that overlooked the school entrance by the time the next school year came around. The days leading up to Summer Vacation are... a time of rejoicing, repenting, and, um... insert your own verb that starts with the letter ‘r’ there. Please. The story cannot go on if you don’t.
See, aren’t you glad that you did that? It makes you a better person overall, doesn’t it.
Ever fallen out of your computer chair?
I just did. But that’s not the point. Someone please get out a whip so I can stay on task, else I’m never going to finish this story.
Maybe I’ll just go get some Neosporin and let the characters talk. It is they that you should be listening to, not I. Even if I am so awesome that I carry on conversations with myself regularly. I’m sure I’m not alone. Man, I get the greatest ideas when I listen to myself... maybe George Bush should listen to himself sometime and not richard Cheney.
Oh, there I go again with denouncing the US government again. I swear, one of these days, the CIA is going to show up at my door.
Anyway... cue Spud!
“Yo, Jake, wait up!” Jake heard his best friend Spud call from behind him. He paused, giving Spud some time to catch up, before setting out on his way again.
“Can you believe it, dude? Last class of the school year! AND the last year at this damn school before we move up to high school! Let me ask you again- can you believe it?”
“Sure can, Spud,” replied Jake, “this year has gone by so slowly... as a matter of fact, so has this week. I guess that they’re lying when they say ‘Time flies by when you’re having fun.’”
They concluded that it was another lie told by the US government.
“So anyway... we got Rotwood’s class last... how do you think he’ll be... you know, it being the last day and all, and the school still hasn’t renewed his contract...”
“Well, don’tcha remember what he did to us before Spring Break!?!” Trixie Carter chimed in as she joined the two on their way to class. “Some kind of essay on the history of the public school! The one that JAKE here didn’t even do!”
Jake blushed slightly.
“AND,” Trixie continued, “he also tried breaking into your Grandpa’s shop. Well, technically, he DID break in. But we stopped him,” she grinned.
“You know what? Let’s not even think about the guy,” Spud said, “...even if he is the teacher of our next class. There isn’t possibly anything he could do to ruin our day... not even if he slipped some cocaine in my pants and set Whitney Houston loose!”
“Dunno... this is basically what we said last time and he gave us a huge essay,” said Jake. “Let’s not underestimate him this time...”
(End)
As it turned out, underestimating Rotwood did not play into the picture. Jack Nicholson did. But to this day, I don’t know why. I think he’s stalking me.
Anyway...
Rotwood was not even there. Turns out that he wasn’t even in the country. Although many had hoped that his visa had expired and he was deported back to Germany or wherever-the-hell he was from, the substitute said that he was simply on his way to the airport to go back home to Europe for the vacation. Of course, he could’ve just been lying.
The US government does that a lot, too.
Anyway...
So perhaps they were going to actually make it through the day without obtaining any over-vacation homework assignments. There had been no threat in their other classes; all their other teachers stayed in the middle school, so thus they would not have their class the next year. However, Rotwood not only taught for Junior High, but for the High School as well. Probably some kind of Nazi conspiracy. You never know, though.
But, as it turned out, Rotwood was still there in... er, presence. Reason I say this is because of what happened next.
“Class, my name is Mr. Denorfia. I enjoy the smell of car fumes and long walks on sandy beaches filled with broken beer bottles and the carcasses of dead fish. But enough about me... let’s talk about you all... and your wonderful 10 page essay on how great of a teacher Professor Rotwood is!”
This made Jake madder than me when I got stuck in a traffic jam because of a damn gay pride rally. Not that I have anything against them... just don’t get in between me and my Bagel Lovers. I like bagels like Paul Wall likes his grillz.
That, also, is another story...
So obviously, Rotwood had brainwashed this substitute into doing his bidding. Either that or he had just left some lesson plans. Both are pretty evil. Luckily, though, they did not have to start on the essay at that moment, giving Jake, Trixie, and Spud time to talk. What about? Well, see, normally, the trio would plot Rotwood. But because he wasn’t there, they decided on something much bigger, so important, so crucial to the very being of the friends that not speaking of it could throw off the whole balance of the world altogether.
And no, it’s not about chronic masturbators. Sickos.
I’m talking about what to do on summer vacation.
Which brings me to my original point- summer vacation is better than Spring Break. I don’t exactly know how that brings me back to my original point, but I DID stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night.
I told you this was going to be the most off-topic and stupid story you’ve ever read. But hey, so was the original. No wait... that one actually had a plot.
A...n...y...w...a...y...
There I go again with talking about myself. It’s the characters we should be speaking of. Even if they are boring as hell and are probably plotting against me.
“So... what are you guys doin’ over vacation?” Jake asked, although he was a little uninterested. Just something to break the ice, I suppose.
“Nothin’, really,” replied Trixie. “Mom and Grandma are goin’ to Atlanta next week, and they said that I didn’t have to go... and to tell you the truth, I don’t want to.”
Jake nodded in recognition. “How ‘bout you, Spud?”
“Dude, I’ve never even been outside the city!”
Jake sighed. “I’m not doing anything either. Guess that means we’re stuck together all vacation... but there’s only so many things you can do in three months, y’know?”
“Well, I’ve always wanted to surf in New York Harbor...,” Spud chimed in.
Trixie met this statement with a slap to his head, “Dammit, Spud, you tried during Spring Break and had to get rescued by the Coast Guard. Is that what you want?”
“They WERE nice people... once they realized I wasn’t a European immigrant!”
“Why would they think that?” asked Jake amusingly. He hadn’t been there, of course... he (Refer to DIP) had been fighting some local monster/demon/bar owner in the Bahamas. Which is where I wish I was right now. You can’t always get what you want. But now you CAN make a collect call by dialing down the center at 1-800-CALL-ATT. It’s free for you and cheap for me.
“Well, I was floating in this shopping cart that I stole from this homeless guy,” Spud started. “Only cost me a few dollars, too. Then Mr. T started chasing me, and then I, like, vaulted over a police car and fell into the harbor. Somehow, the shopping cart stayed afloat. That told me right off the bat that it wasn’t a crappy shopping cart. Which means it didn’t come from Wal-Mart. So then I was floating toward the Statue of Liberty when the Coast Guard intercepted me. That’s the story.”
“Wow, Spud, you’re, um...”
“There is no word for me, dude,” Spud patted Jake on the back. “Don’t even try.”
“I’ll take that advice to heart, thanks.”
And with the ringing of the bell, that ended the school day. And the school year, for that matter. It was officially time for a three month period of absolute nothingness. Or so Jake and his friends thought. Of course, none of them knew what Grandpa had in store at his store. That made me laugh for some reason. You know what else makes me laugh? When I get negative story reviews. I’m sure I’ve got a few by now.
Ladies, gentlemen, and migrant farmers- the symbolic group of letters you are about to view are both highly lucrative and highly dangerous. It symbolizes the end of a group of ideas. Or lack thereof. It should be approached with caution. For your safety, I have added parentheses to it. Thank you for your time and you sunk my battleship.
(End)
“Yo, Gramps. You here?” Jake called as he pushed open the door to his shop, Trixie and Spud in tow.
“Er... Grandpa’s not here!” called Grandpa’s voice.
“Didja hear that, guys?” asked Spud. “He’s not here. Let’s go.”
Jake sighed. So did I. Why do people think that if they say that they’re not there, but it’s their own voice talking, then someone will actually believe that they’re not around? Well only someone like Spud would believe that. And George W. Bush, I’ll bet. I might go find out later; I’ll take a rain check on that.
Grandpa’s voice was coming from his garage. Didn’t know he had a garage? Neither did I.
The three of them stepped through the narrow doorway into the kind-of-wide-open-but-not-really garage, and just stood there in awe. Not because I was standing there. They’d be bowing down if I was there. That’s how we roll.
It was because of the large vehicle that was there.
An RV.
AKA, what Mark Hamill lives in. Don’t we all, though? Wait, no, we don’t. Never mind.
“Gramps... what’s... this?” Jake asked in amazement.
“Were you not listening to anything the author just said, young dragon? It’s an RV!”
“Yeah, but... why do you have it?” Spud asked.
“Simply put, Fu and I are embarking on a trip to San Diego, California for the Annual Dragon Council Meeting. They’ve finally come to their senses and have scheduled it in America.”
“Oh...,” Jake said. “So... why wasn’t I invited? I AM the Am Drag and all...”
“The Council advises against children at this meeting,” Fu appeared from the passenger window of the RV, “Something about what the Brazilian Dragon and the Chilean Dragon getting into a heated- literally- argument and blowing up some stuff in the Middle East. See, the US government told you all that it was air strikes. But, of course, that was a lie. Kind of like Adam Sandler does when he tries to be funny... he’s lying; he’s not really that funny. But that’s a story I can tell you kids when we get back!”
“Wait!” Jake exclaimed. “Gramps... if we promise to not cause any trouble... and not even go to the meeting... could we go with you guys?”
Grandpa made a thoughtful face. He seemed to be deeply considering this. Or maybe it was the bowl of chili he got for $3 at Tim Horton’s. Either one.
Finally, he sighed. “As long as it is okay with your parents...”
This made Jake happier than me when the gay pride rally ended and I got to Bagel Lovers.
I like bagels.
“Thanks, Grandpa! Oh, wow, this is gonna be great! It’s gonna be like a... like a... road trip!”
And thus our story begins. Wait... it’s already begun. Kind of. Unless this was a prologue. Maybe it’s just a dream. If so, then that means I can type while I sleep. THAT could come in handy.
As I was saying, our story begins here. Jake, Trixie, Spud, Fu, and Grandpa shall embark on a perilous journey, filled with detours, lost road maps, and 99 cent buffets at the gas station. And who knows? Maybe there is someone that perhaps does not want them to get to the meeting. Something evil. Something sinister.
And it’s not the US government. If you thought I was going to say that, then you’re thinking more and more like me. I shall control you all... soon.
So... now this question looms...
How are five people going to live together in an RV for the next however-many days? Sounds to me like the next great reality show.
END CHAPTER
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Max Power
Maturing Dragon
Jumpin' Jack Flash
Got to be good lookin' 'cuz he's so hard to see.
Posts: 2,159
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Post by Max Power on Apr 13, 2006 21:23:05 GMT -5
Nicely written, but I don’t think I’ll continue reading it. I kind of don’t like the random, gimmick humor in it. I just don’t find a lot of it that funny, kinda like the latest writing on Family Guy. But, that’s just my opinion. It’s very well-written, regardless.
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Post by dragoondart on Apr 13, 2006 22:06:58 GMT -5
Great chapter. You do have a plot right? XD Honestly though I like the character/narrator interaction, but miss the semi-plot of the 1st DIP.
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Post by ADJLFanatic on Apr 13, 2006 23:26:02 GMT -5
ZOMGOSH! DIP 2! Why am I not the first to comment!? Wait, I went to the mall for seven, almost eight, hours and I just got home... DUH! Anywayz, I LOVED this chapter, Kevin. I loved loved loved loved loved LOVED IT! Almost as much as I love Kel... but whatever. XD
And don't worry, I love this story because of it's constant off-topicness. XD It's actually my favorite part, kind of. Despite the times I wanted to really crack a whip on you to stay on topic. XDXDXD
Hehe, well, I look forward to chappie 2! ^_^
♥'s -- Gir
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Post by Atecom on Apr 14, 2006 1:21:32 GMT -5
Hey, You finally started cool, Im a gonna look forward to this one.
Give the US Government hell XD
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Post by crazy17 on Apr 14, 2006 11:27:14 GMT -5
ROAD TRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*ahem*
Nicely written!
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