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Post by darkkid777 on Mar 9, 2007 9:33:24 GMT -5
This is valin's beginning.A story that will tell you valin's orgen.
Chapter 1:the dark dragon and a baby The dark dragon was flying back to his home after a defeat from the american dragon.When he arrived home,he saw a baby.He didn't see anyone who left the baby.So he picked him up and said."Hello there.You will be my son when I pass away.You shall become the next drak dragon,my son,Valin." he said rasieing his child.
This was the beginning of our story and I know this chapter was short but the next one will be longer. The next chapter:The training begins
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Post by YFWE on Mar 10, 2007 21:57:46 GMT -5
I'm going to be honest with you here...
The storyline might be ok, but the grammatical and spelling errors are a bit glaring... in the next chapter, that's definitely something you'll need to work on.
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Post by darkkid777 on Mar 11, 2007 12:37:24 GMT -5
(Yeah,I need to work on that.I know this chapter is short,but I have some things to work on also.Thank you for telling me that.Update soon)
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Post by huntsgirls1fan on Mar 15, 2007 12:59:41 GMT -5
(Yay update plz?)
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Post by sizler on Mar 17, 2007 11:54:46 GMT -5
Its good so far.
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Post by rosealicous on Mar 24, 2007 15:17:24 GMT -5
[glow=red,2,300]it's too direct.[/glow] when he says something like i will have you as my son. put it as his thoughts instead
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