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Post by The Pantheon Dragon on Dec 12, 2005 17:22:22 GMT -5
Dude!Not bad at all.You're a very good writer and believe me,I don't say it unless mean it. Keep up the good work.Usually I need to critize something or feel the need to,but I'm going to pass on that completely b/c this is one of the best things I read in about a week and a half.^^
LP
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Post by dragonfire13 on Dec 12, 2005 18:08:27 GMT -5
Thank you, Lavenderpaw! ^^
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Post by dragonfire13 on Dec 14, 2005 20:27:55 GMT -5
Chapter 5: Revelation
“A thousand years ago a great evil walked the earth.
That is all it was called. The great evil. Because, although it adopted the name Darkfire, it was like nothing the world had ever seen before. A creature scorned by its own kind (why is anyone’s guess) and thus set out to take its revenge against the world. A creature with glowing eyes the color of blood, and if it ever had a soul is indeed questionable.
The end of the world was at hand.
It is hard to believe that, in this time of darkness, anyone would rise to challenge Darkfire. It had the fate of the world in its clawed hand, and the people had accepted their fate.
Three of them had not.
He was called Kage, a sickly little thing of a dragon born pure white so that he glowed, with eyes the color of new fallen leaves. At his side was his loyal mate, the lovely human Kya, with long blonde hair that fell down her back in a braid, and with eyes the color of the ocean on a clear sunny day. And with them both was their loyal friend Haku, the blacksmith, who wasn’t ready to meet his maker quite yet. Together they traveled, learning all the magic the world had to offer, and training for the day when they would finally be able to face and defeat Darkfire.
As the prophecy goes, Kya was the first to fall at the claws of Darkfire. Caught off guard and unprepared for battle, it seemed quite likely that Kage was to die before he could fulfill the destiny Fate had chosen for him. In a desperate effort to save her beloved, Kya lured Darkfire away with magical blasts, and there in the woods, it took the life of both Kya and her unborn child, a child that would never see the light of day.
When Kage realized that his mate and child were dead, he went into a frenzy unlike any the world had ever seen before. Recovering from his wounds, watching the ever loyal Haku try desperately to save Kya, Kage launched himself at Darkfire with a cry of rage, glowing with what seemed to be the very essence of light itself. In an amazing display of magic, Kage fought Darkfire, and although unable to defeat him, managed to seal him within the Shadow Box, a black box with the symbols of light upon it, so that Darkfire would never again walk the earth.
But Kage’s magnificent stand came at a price. Horribly weakened and suffering from a broken heart, the white dragon died only three days after the epic battle, despite Haku’s valiant efforts. What became of the blacksmith after the death of his dearest friends is unknown, but it is believed that for the rest of his years he wandered the world, as heartbroken as Kage himself once was, but unable to die, until he met his end in the Arctic.
And this is where the legend ends.”
Lao Shi finished the story and slowly closed the dusty leather book. Kellen and Jake exchanged shocked looks. “Whoa…” “That’s just…” “Whoa.”
Jake frowned. “I don’t get it, G… well, two things, really. Aren’t legends like those supposed to have happy endings?” “Kid, don’t believe everything ya see in Disney movies,” Fu called from his current residence, otherwise known as the bathroom. Jake frowned. “Okay, last question. How… I mean…”
“How could the world forget?” Kellen murmured, dazed. “I mean, that’s like… the darkest history, right there. How could the world just… forget it?”
Lao Shi sighed, gently shoving the book back into its place. “One reason is that commonly this story, although we know it to be true, was believed to be myth. Another, simpler reason, is probably just this: it is the way of the world to forget. Great evils come and go, but only true heroes try and fight it, and often they are forgotten, for this is the way of humans, and often what a hero tried so hard to defeat is revived again generations later.” He looked at the young boys in front of him, and there was no hiding the wisdom and sadness they contained. “It is the way of the world, and nothing can change it.”
“So… you think the Huntsman is trying to release… Darkfire?” “I do not think… I know.”
Jake frowned, angling his head to one side. “Okay, I know Hunts-freak is pretty dumb, but doesn’t he realize what a risk he’s taking?” “Maybe he thinks he can control it,” Kellen offered. “Maybe he thinks he can use it to wipe out dragons forever, then destroy it. Maybe he doesn’t know how evil it is.”
“Evil cannot be controlled,” Lao Shi murmured, his dark eyes troubled. “It can be suppressed for a short time, but it can never be controlled.” He closed his eyes softly. “The Huntsman will pay dearly for what he is attempting to do… and it will be his fault.”
He opened his eyes and looked directly at Jake and Kellen.
“The world’s final judgment is at hand, young ones. Are you ready?”
End chapter 5
I couldn't control it... I just had to put in a Disney crack... Muse: That's why you're in therapy, DF13. HEY!
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Iron Hand
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Post by Iron Hand on Dec 14, 2005 22:46:11 GMT -5
Hahahah! I loved it! If you do not update soon, I shall kill IronHand and the American Dragon MUHUHAHAHA! Lol jk But seriously this is lookin great
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Post by dragonfire13 on Dec 18, 2005 11:45:29 GMT -5
Chapter 6: The Time Has Come
Safe to say, Rose didn’t get much sleep that night. Instead she lay awake, studying her hand warily and waiting for the mark to appear and bring the searing pain with it, but it never did. In school she paid no attention to her classes, still trying to figure out what had exactly happened in the darkness with only her and the Shadow Box, but she couldn’t put it together, and the more she wondered about it the more her head ached.
When she got home, it wasn’t any better.
The Huntsman was in his study, wearing a pair of specks and quietly reading a large leather book, slightly dusty. Rose crept past him into her room, closing the door behind her, before sitting Indian style on the floor, studying her hand.
It was her left hand, unmarked by her birthmark, and yet at the same time marked in a way that confused and frightened her. She gently pressed two fingers to her palm, and realized that it was slick with sweat. She shivered.
“What’s happening to me?”
“THORN!”
Rose closed her eyes and mentally counted to ten.
As if the day couldn’t get worse.
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Of course, this is life, and a day can always get worse.
That was Huntsgirl’s current thought as she followed her uncle down to the room that contained the Shadow Box, trotting to keep up with him. She still didn’t want to go near the Box, which was why she was going to take the Orb, while Huntsman chose to handle the Box.
“Huntsmaster, why do we need to do it tonight?” Huntsgirl asked, half trotting, half jogging to keep up with her uncle. He barely looked at her. “Tonight’s a full moon,” he explained. “And that means…?” “The spell to release the force within the Box must take place during the full moon.”
Why is it always the full moon? Huntsgirl wondered as Huntsman pushed the door open. Why can’t it be… I don’t know… during the sunrise, or maybe the sunset? Is that really to much to ask for?
A soft searing pain in her left hand made her cringe; slowly, she lifted her hand, pulling off the glove, already knowing what she would find, but desperately hoping it wouldn’t be there anyway.
The mark she had received last night glowed on her palm, not as bright as before, but softly pulsing with light, and her hand ached. Huntsgirl closed her eyes and moaned softly, her body feeling achy and her head feeling woozy.
The time was coming. She could feel it. Soon whatever evil lurked within the Shadow Box would be free upon the world, and the brave attempt to trap it so many years ago would be destroyed in a matter of minutes.
She didn’t know if she would be alive to see it happen.
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The time was coming. Soon it would be free from the Shadow Box forever, stronger then before, and then no one—not even the guardians—could stop it. Yes… soon, it would walk the earth again, breathe the air and feel the dark energy pulsing through its body.
She would not be a problem—the young woman child that contained the female guardian’s spirit. Already its Mark was affecting her, and when it was finally freed from the Shadow Box, she would be too weak to fight it, and it would kill her just like it had killed the female guardian who lived within her. And no one—not the female guardian’s blacksmith/iron man friend, or that cursed dragon that she loved with all her heart—could save her
Maybe, just to torture her, it would kill her beloved first. Then it would kill her when she had experienced the worst pain of all.
After all, it mused, what pain was worse then the helplessness one felt when the one they loved more then life was killed before them, and they could do nothing to stop it?
End chapter 6
I'm sorry not only that this chapter is so short, but that it took me so long to get it posted. It'll get better, I promise!
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Iron Hand
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Post by Iron Hand on Dec 18, 2005 12:42:18 GMT -5
Hmm, this is starting to get really good! Can't wait till the action starts ;D
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Post by dragonfire13 on Dec 20, 2005 20:18:32 GMT -5
AN: I hate doing this, but with Christmas coming up (and my teachers piling on homework as a result... ^^; I might not be able to update this story for some time, please be patient. I am not abandoning it in any way... I just don't have as much time to work on it as I used to. Hopefully I'll be able to focus on it more over Christmas break...
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Iron Hand
Student
Get money.. by any means necessary..
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Post by Iron Hand on Dec 21, 2005 0:32:34 GMT -5
AN: I hate doing this, but with Christmas coming up (and my teachers piling on homework as a result... ^^; I might not be able to update this story for some time, please be patient. I am not abandoning it in any way... I just don't have as much time to work on it as I used to. Hopefully I'll be able to focus on it more over Christmas break... Like I've said many times, you take as much time as you need alright? No stress, nothin.
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Post by dragonfire13 on Dec 22, 2005 18:55:01 GMT -5
Chapter 7: Pain and Fear
Lao Shi turned to Jake and Kellen. “Tonight, Huntsman is going to perform the ceremony that will open the Shadow Box and unleash Darkfire. We must stop him.” “How, G?” “I do not know, young dragon.” Lao Shi changed into his dragon form and glanced over at the two boys. “But you must be prepared. What you are about to face is more evil then anything you’ve ever faced before.”
Jake and Kellen exchanged nervous looks. “Very comforting,” Jake muttered. “Would you rather he lied?” “… No…” “Neither would I!”
They both nodded to each other before turning to Lao Shi. “We’re ready, Gramps,” Jake said determinedly. “Totally, what he said,” Kellen added. Lao Shi smiled at their courage.
“If you are certain, young ones.”
“DRAGON UP!” “IRON UP!”
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It was already dark, and the moon was just beginning to rise into the sky when Huntsman and Huntsgirl reached the cemetery. Without hesitation, Huntsman set about building a fire while Huntsgirl stood off to the side, silent as she battled wave after agonizing wave of pain that assaulted her body, having started at first in small ripples and now crashing down on her like waves. She gritted her teeth and squeezed her eyes shut.
“Thorn!” Huntsgirl lifted her head weakly and opened her eyes to look at her uncle. “Bring me the Orb,” he ordered. “I already have the Box with me.”
Happy, happy, joy, joy, Huntsgirl thought darkly as she trudged over to her uncle, sidestepping tombstones. Her uncle had already completed his fire and currently had an empty (least it looked empty, from Huntsgirl’s point of view) cauldron hanging over the fire. Peeking in, she saw it wasn’t empty; a clear liquid bubbled at the bottom, so thin that Huntsgirl had to squint to make out the little bubbles. She handed her uncle the Orb, which he rested next to the Box, and Huntsgirl massaged her hand; the pain was growing worse with every second, especially when she was close to that damn Box!
More then anything, she wanted to just lie down and go to sleep, but she didn’t for two reasons: the ceremony was about to start, and she was afraid that if she closed her eyes, she wouldn’t open them again.
“It is time, Thorn.”
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“Okay,” IronHand said, “this is obviously a big thing for the Huntsman. Where would he usually hold ceremonies like that? Central Park?”
Jake frowned, thinking. His mind rewound back over his memories of the Huntsclan; that’s when he remembered. “The cemetery! That was where they were going to perform Rose’s rite of passage on Halloween, with the Councilors!” “So they might be there?” Lao Shi asked. “I’m sure of it, G!”
The two dragons and the iron man changed course and headed for the cemetery. But it was still so far away, and they didn’t have as much time as they thought. Nervously, IronHand glanced up at the moon, which glowed brightly above.
If there is a God, I hope He can help us stop this.
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YES!
It rejoiced. After so long, after so many, many years, it would finally be freed from the Shadow Box, and walk the earth again. Soon it would be unleashed upon the world, never again to be defeated, and make the world what it had wanted years ago.
Greedily, it parted its massive jaws and gulped the air, and the air brought dizzying scents and sounds that it had only imagined. Soon, once it was out of this wretched Box…
Yes, the world had changed since it had last walked the earth, but all the changes in the world didn’t matter. Nothing could stop it once it was freed, not even the only guardian that was so close.
Yes.
Soon, it would destroy this world, just as it should have years ago.
And nothing could stop it.
End chapter 7
And the suspense builds...
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Iron Hand
Student
Get money.. by any means necessary..
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Post by Iron Hand on Dec 22, 2005 20:15:24 GMT -5
GAH! CLIFFHANGER! Lol! I demand you update soon, or I will run by your house and steal your mail.. everyday XD
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Post by dragonfire13 on Dec 26, 2005 20:59:35 GMT -5
Chapter 8: Midnight
The clock struck midnight; the moon soared to the center of the sky. The whole sky seemed to darken; no stars shone. The whole world seemed to hold still.
Huntsman uncorked the vial Huntsgirl had stolen and poured the shimmering liquid into the cauldron, then held the Orb in one hand. In his other he held a sharp knife. Huntsgirl watched uneasily, her left hand cradled to her chest. “Master…?”
The knife made a high whistling sound as it sliced through the air, embedding deeply into the Orb. Huntsgirl gasped as a jolt of pain crashed through her in response; the world spun dizzily; her vision dimmed, then cleared again as the pain faded, not completely gone yet not as bad as before. She closed her eyes, battling hot tears.
Huntsman pulled the knife out of the Orb, which was now coated with a thick, dark substance that could have been blood yet wasn’t blood. He watched coolly as the dark magic within the Orb streamed into the cauldron, turning the liquid inside a violent black/red color. As Huntsman discarded the now empty Orb, his eyes were expressionless; that alone scared Huntsgirl more then whatever was in the Shadow Box. “Master?” she whimpered. He ignored her. Looking down into the caldron, he began to speak, in a dark, gravelly voice that was his and yet not his:
“Yimaman see noygel, see refacull, see nod a bah, see naytoss, retee fo sellos.”
Huntsgirl blinked. The thought gibberish alert flitted briefly in her mind. She frowned beneath her mask. “Yimaman see noygel, see refacull, see nod a bah, see naytoss, retee fo sellos,” she repeated softly. Her brain rushed to take words apart and click them together so that they made sense, so she knew what her uncle was saying.
“My name is legion, is Lucifer, is Abbadon, is Satan, eater of souls.”
Beneath her mask, Huntsgirl blanched. Oh, crap…
“Huntsmaster, no! Stop!”
Her cry came too late, because her uncle was already gone. His eyes dimmed, and with a whimper she stepped away, into the shadows cast by the tombstones. Hot tears ran down her cheeks. “No…”
A thick jet of smoke shot out of the cauldron, changing into a dark red color, seeming sticky like blood. The beam smashed into the moon, and as she watched, filled with both awe and terror, Huntsgirl felt another jolt of fierce agony, so great that it felt strong enough to stop her heart. It ended in a jolt of terror, and a flash of light as red as blood, and as she sank to the ground, clutching her hand to her chest, she pulled off her glove.
The mark glowed and throbbed with a dark energy, as though feeding off of her pain, and small shafts of red light emitted from the mark, like a beacon. With a small moan Huntsgirl sank to her knees, then slowly rolled over onto her side, whimpering in pain, pain that only increased and grew worse until she felt as though she was the very essence of pain, and as her eyes fluttered shut, she drew one last, great breath, then lay still.
She seemed dead.
But she was in fact alive, because her chest rose and fell faintly as she fought for breath, and her hands trembled.
A clawed hand grasped the edge of the cauldron.
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The three could see the cemetery now; they were almost there. “We’re gonna make it!” Jake called to IronHand, who nodded, almost ecstatic with relief. They had made it…
At that moment they saw the bloody beam shoot up from the cemetery and crash into the moon. IronHand expected the moon to be destroyed, but it remained intact.
The moon slowly was washed into a pale red color, and as this happened the bloody color spread throughout the sky, touching the stars the same pale red, darkening the whole sky so that it seemed drenched in blood, the sky a darker red then the stars and the moon, and as they watched the beam turned black, slowly fading away to leave the scent of something burning, something that smelled horribly wrong. Lao Shi’s eyes were terror-stricken.
“We’re too late.”
End chapter 8
Uh oh...
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Post by greencomedian on Dec 26, 2005 21:23:25 GMT -5
Forgive me that I have not commented on any of your previous chapters, but WHOA! This is an awesome story so far. Continue!!
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Post by dragonfire13 on Dec 26, 2005 21:25:14 GMT -5
Forgiven. Thank you!
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Iron Hand
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Post by Iron Hand on Dec 27, 2005 0:07:59 GMT -5
GAH! You've left me at a cliffhanger! hahaha, nicely done, I can't wait for the next update! WHOA! I just made a rhyme yo! Lol
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Post by dragonfire13 on Dec 28, 2005 17:22:25 GMT -5
Chapter 9: Run
Huntsgirl moaned. The pain…
Slowly, she opened her eyes, rolling over onto her belly, scanning the area through glazed eyes.
The sky above was red, and she knew without a doubt that it could only mean one thing; the Shadow Box. At that she sat bolt upright, ignoring the pain that flashed through her body at the sudden movement. “Uncle!”
He was still standing in front of the cauldron, still gazing into it. Carefully, Huntsgirl struggled to her feet and limped over to him. “Uncle?” she called timidly. “Uncle, are you okay?”
“Thorn…”
It was if her voice had broken a spell; Huntsman’s legs gave out beneath him, and he fell to the ground, onto his side. The scene reminded Huntsgirl of when Simba had found Mufasa’s body after the stampede, and chilled with fear she ran to his side and fell to her knees next to him. “Uncle! Uncle, get up! You have to get up!” “I… I don’t think I can, Thorn…” “Yes you can.” Huntsgirl’s voice was hushed, thick with tears. “Please. Get up.”
Huntsman made a valiant effort, struggling to his knees, but he had been through to much, and slowly he sank back to the ground. Huntsgirl whimpered, crouching over him.
“Thorn… I have made… a horrible mistake…” His eyes met hers, and they were bright again, but for how long she didn’t know. “I have unleashed a great evil upon the world…” “You didn’t know that,” Huntsgirl protested weakly, but even to her it sounded fake. “Don’t fool yourself, Thorn,” her uncle rasped. His eyes fluttered shut briefly. “I knew perfectly well what I was doing…”
Lowering her head, Huntsman’s young apprentice shed tears for him. He lifted one gloved hand, gently wiping them away. “Hey… what’s this, huh? Don’t cry.” “But…” “There is no time for crying.” Huntsman was all business now; with a soft grunt, he rested some of his weight on his elbows. “Listen to me, Thorn. You must run. Run as far and as fast as you can. Find the American Dragon; he will protect you.” His eyes darkened. “This thing wants you dead, and I’ll be damned if you’re easy prey for him.” “Uncle…” “I will stay behind, giving you time. The creature will have other uses for me, uses that will keep him distracted from you for a short time.” “What do you mean other uses? Uncle, he wouldn’t…” “Hush, Thorn. Now is not the time for questions.”
Huntsgirl nodded numbly, feeling as though someone had a knife and was repeatedly stabbing her heart with it. Was every person she loved destined to leave her in some way?
“You must not lose hope, Thorn. You will survive this,” Huntsman whispered. Slowly, he sank to the ground, and Huntsgirl scooted closer to him. “Uncle…” There were so many things she wanted to say, so many things she needed to tell him. “Uncle, I…” His hand stroked her cheek. “I know, Thorn. I know.” His hand fell away.
“Run.”
Recognizing an order, Huntsgirl sprang to her feet, stumbled, checked herself, and sprinted into the shadows surrounding the cemetery, even as she heard a wet, rough sound that could only mean that the creature from the Shadow Box was free, even as its infuriated roar rang in her ears and her uncle’s shriek of pain raked at her heart like an enemy’s claws trying to tear it to shreds.
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NO!
It snarled in frustration as the young guardian ran, disappearing into the shadows. She had escaped its grasp, despite being weakened by its mark. Anger swelled in its belly; it was not used to being defied.
Him.
All along, it had assumed that he was its loyal servant, completely under its control. And yet he had rebelled, defied, for the sake of the one he called “Thorn”.
It felt a flicker of uncertainty. Was there some power that was possible of defeating it without landing a blow? Was it possible that there was a power that could destroy it, and make its loyalist servants turn against it?
No. There couldn’t be. If that were true, it would not have survived all these years in the Box.
It would have to dispose of him. It didn’t want to, but he had served his purpose; the creature no longer needed him, and it drank in his agonized shriek like one drinks water.
“Let that be a warning to you, young guardian. Because when I find you, you will shriek just as your pitiful human guardian did.”
End chapter 9
Someone is not happy...
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