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Post by spyder on May 5, 2006 2:53:11 GMT -5
(I'm not sure if this in the right thread or not, but anyway...) I was just wondering if you guys could check out this song I wrote...Why did I write it? You ask, well...
I won't go into too much detail but basically, me and a couple of mates formed a band not too long ago and after a few weeks we got tired of playing songs by other bands and decided we wanted to write some songs of our own... I was given the role of songwriter, cause I'm the best at writing among this group and (on top of guitar) I'm already the lead singer (Not that good though...The best of a bad bunch...)
So anyway, over time, I've written a few songs, but this one here is one of the first ones I've actually finished word for word and I wanted you guys to have a look at it...Tell me what you think...It's called 'Down to Lay'...Hope you like it...
Note: Anything done in brackets means it is being sung by a backup singer...DOWN TO LAY Look in my eyes, and say what I did was right, I did all I could. Swallow all the lies, and maybe tonight, we could be where should. Forget about the rest of the world, We’ll make it just you and me. If only this world was alright, Then maybe you could be. If only you could look through my eyes, Then maybe you could see. [Chorus]
I was lost in you, when I was found,
Rescued me here when I had drowned.
In the thoughts you had me thinking,
When we lay down again. (Lay down again!) < This part is dubbed over the line before it
Contemplations go abound,
I was deaf but loved your sound.
But in the thoughts you had me thinking,
I couldn’t sleep with these thoughts brimming.
When we lay down again. (Lay down again!) < This part is dubbed over the line before it As I look into your eyes, I guess it wasn’t right. I swallow in all the lies, realise; I guess I could do more. (When will I learn?) I’d fought me battles but with no reward, (So when will I earn?) If only this world was alright, Then maybe we could be, If only I could look through your eyes, Then maybe I would see. [Chorus]
[My friend Mark, wants to have a guitar solo there] (And after that) I just don’t know what say. About these thoughts you had me thinking, When went down to lay, (Down to lay.) < Dubbed over previous line These thoughts on my mind, I wish we could just cast away… (But now I) Sit in silence, Hear you pray. And watch the world, As you go down to lay. (Down to lay) < Dubbed over previous line [Chorus x2] (But now I) Sit in silence, Hear you pray. And watch the world, As you go down to lay... Well that's it...I might post a some more later...It depends on whether you guess like this one or not...Speaking of which, what do you reckon?
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Post by dragoondart on May 5, 2006 8:21:31 GMT -5
*Jaw Drops*
Awesome!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Tell me when your first album comesout man because with songs like that, you could roast!
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Post by spyder on May 6, 2006 0:42:18 GMT -5
Wow, thanx I didn't think it was that good...I guess that one passes the test......Here's another one, it's called 'Inside'
Note: Again, anything in brackets means it is done by a backup singer...INSIDE You! Think that you can hide? Think that no-one will ever see your inside? You think that you go? And lock away the things you never meant to show. But I am better then that you see, I can see everything you’ve kept, locked away from me. And I will waste away, (When I finally hear) What you mean to do, what you mean to say. You thought could just cover your truth up, Like another of your lies. You think could lead a second life, And hide away in disguise... Looking on the inside, Inside of, (You!) [Chorus] I am on the outside, Looking in the, (In!) As you try to hide the real thoughts, That lie beneath your… (Skin!) I am on the outside, Staring straight on through. Looking on the inside, Inside of you. (Inside of you!)Then maybe I too should have lied, And locked away, the things I keep inside. Maybe I should go away, And never say, what I want to say, what I mean to say. Never let you know, The things about me I don’t show. I don’t care how the world, Thinks I should be. You will always see the inside, Inside of me! [Chorus]Inside of, Inside of, Inside of, You! [Softer]I am on the outside, Looking on the in the in, Pulling ‘part this mind of yours, Flowing in a, (Spin!) [Return to normal]I am on the outside, Looking on the, (In!) Inside of you! I am on the outside, Looking on the, (In!) Taking time, to watch the time, Slowly disappear… (Ing!) I am on the outside, Finding out what’s new. Looking on the inside, Inside of you! (You!) (You!) (You!) Inside of You, (You!) (You!) (You!) Inside of you. I'm spending a lot of time working on this one song I think would be great to use in AD:JL, it's called 'Thorn In My Side' and I'd love to show you but I haven't finished it yet, I'll try though...Anyway, what did you think?
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Post by static on May 6, 2006 2:29:15 GMT -5
Waht about that one you helped me write?
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Post by spyder on May 6, 2006 2:42:52 GMT -5
What was that called again? 'Only' or something?
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Post by Atecom on May 6, 2006 5:03:13 GMT -5
These are very good so far...
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Post by The Pantheon Dragon on May 6, 2006 6:10:00 GMT -5
You're a very good songwriter.Here's an example of my songwriting skills. www.fanfiction.net/s/2648458/1/ It's a Teen Titans songfic (before I knew they weren't allowed) it's called Don't Open You're Eyes In A Moment Frozen In Time but of course I was the lead guitarist in my band in High School and the occasional songwriter. LP
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Post by spyder on May 7, 2006 7:44:55 GMT -5
^ That's kinda like the position I have in my band...I was originally gonna be lead guitarist but cause I didn't have a proper guitar (just an old acoustic I got from my dad) and my friend Mark did, it was given to him...
So I was kinda like, the backup guitarist, as well as lead singer, but I got to be the lead guitarist on occasions...Sometimes Mark would let me borrow his guitar, or like when we were at school performing I could borrow a proper electric guitar when I was doing an item...
But I've decided I don't want to be lead anymore...Singing and playing guitar at the same time can get hard (We'll, I'm a guy, I can't multi-task!)
Anyway, here's a song I wrote about the kind of people who are always trying to bring you down, or tell you can't do something and so on...It's called 'Bring to a standstill' and the first song I ever wrote (word for word)
I wrote it when I was, 13 I think...BRING TO A STANDSTILL I’m trying harder then I think I already can, I’m gonna make it in this world... You think my dreams are so far away, But there closer then you think... This is something I know that I can do, And I don’t care cause this sure is not about you... Cause you’re always there and you’re trying to put me down, But this is something I'm gonna do! [Chorus] Cause I’m not stoppin’ for anyone, I won’t quit this till I’m done. No one’s ever gonna break my will, Or bring it down, bring to a standstill.I’ve gone further then I thought I ever could, I’m gonna do this because I know I should... That’s were I’m going and that’s where I’m gonna stay, And that’s something from me, you’ll never take away... I get closer as these moments pass, My resiliency is so annoying; it’s a kick in the ass! And there is one thing that no one can deny, There isn’t a thing that I won’t dare defy... (And like it or not) This is something I'm gonna do [Chorus] x2 [Softer]Not stoppin’ for anyone, Won’t quit this til I’m done... Never gonna break my will, Bring it down, bring to a standstill! [Guitar Solo]And now that I’m here, it just doesn’t seem real, And I’m guessing this must be how dreams feel. I’ve made here and I know this is destiny’s call, You were there but could never make me fall. And this spirit I’m showing, Is cause I got by knowing. That one’s ever gonna break my will, Or bring it down, Bring to a STANDSTILL! [Chorus x3]^ Or something like that...
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Post by Tales_ Fanatic on May 10, 2006 15:14:39 GMT -5
WOw, I wish I could write songs that good. Nice job man ;D
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Post by spyder on May 30, 2006 5:31:13 GMT -5
Thanks Lloyd! Glad u like them!
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Post by spyder on Aug 10, 2006 21:25:26 GMT -5
Wow, I remember this thread lol Haven't been in here in awhile. Anyway, here's a song I felt like posting. I was trying to make it a J/R one but I don't think it fits anymore. It's called "Help" (aka Call of Distress) hope you like it!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- -- When I've lost all my chances again, And it's all going wrong. When I'm losing my grip, And can't seem to hold on. When I'm just losing life, And things aren't how they seem. Would you be there, so I could survive? Would you be there to hear me scream?
[Chorus] And I'm falling too... As I scream for you... I waste away... Just pray and say... If I lost it all... Would you heed my call...For help?
When I've fallen down, Can't get back up, can't face the truth now. Battle it out with fate, But cannot win (no matter how) How hard I try, how hard I do, How I lose it all (and turn to you)
[Chorus 2] And I'm falling too... (Help! Help! Help!) As I scream for you... (Help! Help! Help!) I waste away... (Help! Help! Help!) Just pray and say... (Help! Help! Help!) If I lost it all... (Help! Help! Help!) Would you heed my call...For help?
[Guitar Solo - Verse below is dubbed over solo] Still calling out right now, I know you'll get here somehow. I know you'll heed my call (Just heed my call) Yeah, you'll heed my call (Please heed my call) When I've fallen down, Can't get back up, can't face the truth now. Battle it out with fate, But cannot win (no matter how) How hard I try, how hard I do, How I lose it all (and turn to you)
[Softer-Acoustic Guitar only-Gradually return to normal as verse goes on] And I'm falling too... As I scream for you... I waste away... Just pray and say... If I lost it all... Would you heed my call...For help? (Help! Help! Help! Help! Help! Help!)
[Chorus 2 x2/Normal]
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Post by charles finley. on Aug 11, 2006 3:35:25 GMT -5
Excuse me while I pick my jaw off the floor *does so*
Whoa...Those songs RAWK!! To bad you got made lead singer...:fup:..
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Post by spyder on Aug 12, 2006 0:57:19 GMT -5
Wow, thanks. I'm glad you like them Ash.....:fup: XD
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Post by dante on Aug 12, 2006 1:13:42 GMT -5
Those are sick lyrics! ;D It reminds me how Nickelback makes they're lyrics!
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Post by spyder on Aug 17, 2006 23:19:54 GMT -5
Well thanks Dante! Glad you liked them too. It's always cool to know people appreciate my work. Anyway, new song! This one is more of a Rap/Rock combination which is fairly new to me (so it might not be very good XD)
For the Worst Have you ever been hit so hard, You couldn't get up at all...? Been so isolated, lonely, With only echo's to answer your call...
Well I've had my heart ripped out, Thrown pon the ground... Forgotten what life's all about, Yet still been here to astound...
[Pre-Chorus] (The change in me) (Nothing more that I can see) (Why must I be so lonely?) (Is there a wrong from right?) You're gonna see this change alright!
[Chorus] You filled me up with hate, Until I thought that I would burst (that I would burst) Played your tricks and spells on me, Til you finally had me cursed (you had me cursed) You said there was something that I could be, Filled my head with these ideas, til I thought it would burst.. But when you said you saw a change, I didn't know you meant for the worst (for the worst!)...
You making me do these things, Things that I've never wanted to do... Looking for this side in me that doesn't exist, But does exist in you
You making me do these things, Things that I've never wanted to do... Looking for this side in me that doesn't exist, But does exist in you (in you!)
[Pre-Chorus] [Chours]
I wonder where my mind has gone... I'm sick of fighting these battles alone... I don't wanna see this devil, Crawlin' inside of me... I don't wanna be lost within, Yeah, I just need to be found... You've tied my heart up in this knot yeah, Now I just need to be unwound...
[Softly] The change in me Not one that I can see With no will to fight You’re gonna see a change alright! [< Heavy/screamed]
[Chorus x2]
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